How to manage others, how to manage yourself. Arrogant behavior - what it manifests itself in, where it comes from and why it is dangerous

The art of managing people is especially useful for representatives of professions such as recruiters or managers. But in order to apply this art in practice, it is necessary to complete the theoretical base. The best way to do this is to read books on managing people. In this article we will look at the best works recommended for reading.

Why is this necessary?

What is the psychology of people management? Can a book teach it or is it a matter of practice? Perhaps you just need to have an innate talent for this and those who were not born with it should not even try?

Yes, indeed, there are people who are savvy in this art almost from birth. But even talent needs to be developed, and sometimes from scratch. This may not be (and most likely will be) difficult, but it is necessary if achieving your goals is a goal in itself.

Building the foundation

The problem of choosing a popular science book is to take a manual of the required level. That's why, before you make your own choice, you should build a basic foundation. It is recommended to include the following creations:

"Social Psychology" by David Myers - the best books on managing people nervously smoke on the sidelines in front of this fundamental work. It is required study for psychology students at Western universities and provides a collection of all social norms and rules that form the basis for communication, and, consequently, managing people.
"The Art of Systems Thinking" by O'Connor and McDermott - gives a general and fundamental understanding of systems, their laws and the rules by which they operate. This information gradually and correctly leads to the ability, with the help of systems, to see a way out, where it is, and there is always one; and think creatively and approach problems creatively.

For senior managers

A leadership position is a big responsibility for which not everyone is ready. But even those who think they are ready can be seriously mistaken. The following books will not make a former executive a brilliant boss, but they will point you on the right path:

"Lead People" by David Novak - the art of leadership with concrete examples.
"Team Management" by James Lewis - the art of managing people in the book is learned through developing the qualities necessary for a good leader.
"Remote. Office Optional" by Jason Fried is an indispensable read for managing employees working remotely. In its own way, a unique work, since freelancing is a relatively new niche in the market.
"Managers Are Not Born" by Frank Switek and Danny Striegle is a book on managing people in the form of a step-by-step guide. Particular attention is paid to cultivating a sense of personal responsibility among subordinates.
"Delegation and Management" by Brian Tracy - the use of delegation of authority as a type of employee training. After all, a good manager doesn't do the tasks himself - he manages those who do the tasks and makes sure they are done well.

For HR

Books on people management for HR deserve a separate point - recruiters need not only to manage people, but also to “read” them literally at first glance at the lines in the resume. A successful recruiter is not only a successful manager, it is something more. The following works can help you become this big:

Kjell and Ziegler's "Theories of Personality" are basic equipment for the novice HR. It’s worth reading the very first one and only after that proceeding to serious volumes.
“Russian lessons of Japanese koans” by V. Tarasov is a book about business, not about recruiting, and that is why it is recommended by HR. “Russian Lessons” brings HR officers closer to the company’s owners, forces them to look for answers and forms the right values.
"The Ideal Leader" by Adizes - about teams, team roles and how to work with them. Just like the previous book, it changes the angle of view and illuminates the structure of the company from the perspective of its leader.
Michaels' "War for Talent" is about not only how to hire, but also who, and how to then train and inspire. This book on people management gives specific recommendations and is recommended without exception to all recruiters.
"Technologies for Effective Hiring" by Montrel - here only about how to hire, but with answers to all your questions and specifics. It is also worth noting how well structured the book is - it is, at a minimum, convenient and quick to read. And useful, incredibly useful.
Johnson's "Battle for People" is about how to first hire the perfect employee and then make sure he stays. Winning wars is better than winning battles, but you have to start somewhere.

For those interested

Those who have not yet decided on their place in life, or are simply interested in the art of managing people at this time, can pay attention to the following books:

“Hidden control of man” by V. P. Sheinov. The book “Hidden Human Control” shows examples of hidden manipulation techniques and, in addition, teaches how to calculate and defend against those who use these techniques.
“How to talk to anyone, about anything” by L. Lowndes. To get what you want, all you have to do is talk. In the book, Lowndes explains in simple terms the psychology of successful and effective communication.

Useful

"The Psychology of Persuasion" by Robert Cialdini. The book illuminates the art of managing people from the perspective of persuasion methods. In addition to systematically listing these methods and describing them, it is described how we influence people unconsciously, and how people influence us.
"Conflict Management" by Joseph Grenny. Quarrels are an indispensable part of communication. Grenny describes in detail how to smooth out problematic situations, both between employees and the manager, without losing any of the employees.
"Games that people play. People who play games", Eric Berne. A deservedly popular work. It has a scientific background, which means everything said in it is true. A teacher book that needs to be read thoughtfully, and sometimes re-read, in order to always recognize “the games that people play” in different situations.

“Most people don’t see the trap they’re in.” This statement conveys the meaning of any psychological manipulation. How do you know if someone is trying to force their opinion on you? How to identify a manipulator and resist him? The article contains 5 types of people most susceptible to manipulation.

From this article you will learn:

What psychological mechanisms make people manipulate or obey?

The term " manipulation"in most cases has a negative connotation. It is understood as a method of psychological influence that changes the behavior and perceptions of other people. In this case, the manipulator uses hidden, deceptive, and sometimes violent tactics.

Everyone resorts to manipulation, one way or another. It is an integral part of everyday life and cannot be avoided. It is impossible to avoid such influence, so it is better to learn to recognize it in time. Regarding use manipulation, it is used only when a person imagines its consequences and is responsible for them. Otherwise, such behavior is considered immoral in society.

What is it based on?classification of manipulations

How does the psychology of manipulation and submission work?Manipulation of people in modern psychology defined as a type of psychological influence. Its goal is to arouse in people intentions that do not correspond to their actually existing desires.

Manipulation has a number of specific characteristics:

there is an impact of a psychological nature;
the object of influence is perceived as a means of achieving one’s own goals;
as a result, only the manipulator wins;
the fact of influence and its direction are carefully hidden;
manipulators play on weaknesses and use psychological strength;
the object has false motivation.

Most people do not think about the fact that they are “managed” every day: in the family, in personal discussions, in the work team. Psychologists believe that the desire to control others reflects the individual’s weakness and lack of self-confidence. Such a desire is compensation for one’s own complexes. Interestingly, many manipulate others without even realizing it. To avoid this, strive for objectivity in the perception of your own actions and actions.

5 types of people most susceptible to manipulation

Who is at risk of becoming a victim of manipulation? Studying psychology of manipulation and submission allowed psychologists to identify 5 types of people most susceptible to the influence of others:

People who base their actions on common sense and logic, striving for comfort and safety. They are managed at the level of needs.
Creative people living under stress. Dreamers are influenced at the level of imagination and emotion.
Rational people with logical thinking. Such people are manipulated, hurting their self-esteem, as well as conscience and moral principles.
Hedonists whose behavior is determined by instincts. Their desire for pleasure is used for control.
People who are incapable of objective analysis of what is happening and critical thinking. They are manipulated by intimidation and pain.

What methods of influence do manipulators use?

There are certain types of manipulations, that is techniques and methods of influencing human consciousness. The classification of manipulations in modern psychology is based on grouping methods of influence according to different criteria.

Among the control methods there are 4 main:

Conscious. A person understands the mechanism of influence and foresees the final result, which is his goal.
Unconscious. The manipulator has a vague idea of the essence of influence and its ultimate goal.
Communication (linguistic). Influencing the interlocutor during a dialogue using speech.
Behavioral. Controlling the interlocutor during a dialogue with the help of actions, actions, situations.

There is specialized literature - books on manipulating people. They distinguish several levels of psychological influence. They are determined by the most vulnerable points of the affected object:

emotions;
habits and style of behavior, way of thinking;
interests and needs;
beliefs and worldview;
professional skills.

Manipulation of subordinates

In most companies, the main manipulator is its leader. Unfortunately, many bosses confuse motivation and manipulation.

Evident type of manipulation- discrepancy between words and actions. For example, management does not provide subordinates with the conditions to perform complex work. In words, the director praises the employee, convincing him that he is the only hope of the company. Or in words the subordinate is accused of failing to fulfill his duties, but in reality he is entrusted with more and more tasks.

Editorial advice: . It will teach you to influence subordinates without violence and motivate without manipulation.

Manipulation by the leader

The most common manipulations are “Monkey on the neck” and “I want to consult with you.” In the first case, the employee plays up the manager’s pride and “hangs his monkey around his neck” - a difficult task. In the second case, the subordinate shifts responsibility to the manager both for making the decision and for its execution. In case of failure, he can attribute it to incorrect advice.

Manipulating colleagues

Employees influence colleagues in many ways, sometimes without realizing what they are doing manipulation of people. There are 3 main control methods:

« Orphan Kazan" The employee keeps his distance from management so that, on occasion, he can refer to the fact that essentially no one is in charge of him.
« Busy employee" The employee agrees to all instructions, but does not produce specific results, citing an overwhelming workload.
« Small child" The employee pretends to be clueless in order to relieve himself of responsibility and transfer the task to his colleague.

How to resistmanipulationand block the pressure

There are effective methods for overcoming and blocking pressure and manipulation.

To protect yourself from the most skilled manipulator, you need to clearly understand how it works manipulation.

Mechanism of psychological influence

If the information you receive from the outside is not filtered and is immediately sent from the “focus of attention” to the instinctive solution to the problem, then you have fallen into a trap. In the diagram, the actions of the manipulator are indicated by yellow arrows. It works through emotions, switching your attention from a critical analysis of the problem to its simple, familiar solution. The need for analysis causes anxiety, and you instinctively choose seemingly reliable stereotyped actions.

Learn to recognize manipulation and notice the pressure on emotions.
Keep your distance from colleagues and management, do not show them all your weaknesses.
Listen to people and match words with actions.
Filter and verify dubious information.
Learn to say a firm “no.”
Stand your ground.
Think constructively, evaluate from the position of an unbiased critic.
Don’t try to maintain ideal relationships with everyone and appear better than you really are.

Manipulation of people and neutralization of its consequences is a common phenomenon in society. Knowing the mechanisms of psychological influence, people easily achieve their goals. It’s good if these goals are not related to damage to the object of influence. Otherwise, manipulation can and should be resisted. Each of us has the right to our own opinion. That is why critical thinking and balanced decisions are the best defense against attempts to control your consciousness.

The art of managing people can be useful not only for those who occupy leadership positions at work, but also for everyone who comes into contact with society on a daily basis. A simple set of psychological techniques and skills will help you, in case of a dispute, convince your opponent that you are right, avoid conflict, not succumb to outside provocations, and improve relationships with loved ones.

Psychology is a full-fledged branch of science, which has a section that studies the direct and hidden impact on the consciousness of the collective and the individual. In other words, the tactics of controlling a person will give you the opportunity to find harmony with others. She works with almost everyone, regardless of gender, age, social status and views. If you want to learn how to learn to manage people, then our article is especially for you.

What is manipulation?

Manipulation is the hidden control of a person, that is, an incentive to make decisions, perform any actions that are necessary for the manipulator to achieve his own goals (often selfish ones).

In no case should the victim understand that thoughts and actions committed under the influence of the “puppeteer” are imposed by someone from the outside. This is the art of managing people. This skill provides quite serious opportunities that can be realized as material or moral satisfaction.

On the one hand, the work of a manipulator is often perceived in the eyes of others as a negative impact, but there are always two sides to the coin: thus, the reverse in this matter is the manipulation of a teacher or parent in relation to a student or child for educational and educational purposes.

The main difference between manipulation and voluntary choice is the obvious lack of choice. A person does not act in accordance with his interests, and after realizing the fact of influence he feels used, which is very unpleasant. But a person does not have such a skill from birth.

What you need to know

The human psyche is very individual. If one technique works for one, there is no guarantee that it will work for another. Your skills should be used with caution.
Any skill needs to be honed. You should not be content with theory alone; practice is necessary in every task; no skill comes from nowhere.
It is possible to influence a person only if he is disposed towards you.
Before you try to convince your interlocutor of anything, find out as much as possible about him, be it his place of work or his personal qualities.
You must be confident in your words.

Impact points

Influencing a person through his needs. Each person strives to satisfy his needs or ambitions, be it the need for security, physiology, the desire to occupy a particular position, or receive a certain service. This is often where the manipulator’s attention is concentrated. This skill is mainly used by the media. The most striking example is advertising on the Internet and on television. Marketing tricks, the ability to present information correctly, inviting celebrities... All this forces the masses to buy what is offered from the screens.
Manipulation through weakness. This method involves the skill of playing on human weaknesses, which include self-doubt, stupidity, passion, curiosity, suggestibility, superstition, fear, etc.
Guilt management. Often, having committed a minor offense, the victim looks for a way to atone for the guilt, which is what the manipulator takes advantage of. This skill is most often used by inexperienced manipulators.
Playing on vanity. Just like self-doubt, you can also take advantage of self-confidence: the manager achieves his goal with flattery and approving speeches.

Masked manipulation

Psychology also shares several main methods of influence, which greatly simplify achieving goals in any area of human life: work, social activities, family. The main ones are the following:

The ability to interest the object of influence. Whether it is a promised service or providing the information a person needs, the main thing is that the motivation is strong enough to encourage active action. You don't need to have much skill here. A classic example that is often used in families in relation to children: “let you do the work, and in return you will get candy.” This happens with adults too, but the “candy” can be a promotion or financial incentive. Psychology is one.
Tricks are methods of manipulation that involve putting the person being manipulated in an awkward position. This technique is often used in disputes and disputes.
Managing people under stress. One of the simplest methods that does not require any psychology skills. A person who is in a state of deep depression, fear or stress is easily suggestible. It doesn't matter so much to him what to believe. The goal of such a person is to cling to at least something. Fraudsters often take advantage of this. Remember the gypsy fortune tellers who, seeing that a person is not in the best mood, take advantage of this.

All methods of manipulation are revealed in one way or another through the above basics. Some of them are suitable for the crowd, others are quite suitable for home use.

A few more ways

Influence through stereotypes. In this case, the influence is exerted through images rooted in the human mind, traditions, and elements of mentality.
Attraction is one of the methods that helps control people even more quietly. Attraction as such is not a method of manipulation. It is only the soil and attracts a person’s attention, creates interest and proper disposition. The psychology of attraction is the desire and ability to achieve positive emotions.
Suggestion. Simply interference in the human psyche. Such methods include hypnosis and neurolinguistic programming (NLP). The effect is primarily on emotions, but this method requires special skill. This work should be done by a professional who knows exactly how to manage people without harming their mental health.

Otherwise, baits work, allowing the manipulator the opportunity to attract and retain the attention of the manipulated or society to a certain part of the whole matter, distracting from the main goal. This method can be called almost ideal, because the person, even after the manipulator has received his due, does not notice the influence.

The techniques described are versatile and suitable for both domestic use and for managing people at work. Managing people is a very useful skill in this day and age. However, it should be remembered that it is advisable to use these methods among the masses only if the points on which you intend to “press” are the same or at least close for the majority of those being controlled. Other methods are suitable only for personal influence at the everyday level, often carried out unconsciously.

In conclusion, it should be said that science does not stand still and is developing quite quickly, new information, data, and methods appear on the topic of managing people, but the main points that currently exist and are given above will not lose their relevance over time.

In the process of detailed study of the topic of people management, the books of Paul Ekman are of particular importance. To improve your manipulation skills, start with them.

HOW TO MANAGE OTHERS.

HOW TO MANAGE

(The Art of the Manager)

After reading this book, you will master effective methods of managing a person - from the art of persuasion and winning over to manipulating your interlocutor and managing conflict.

Can you test yourself on 30 tests to determine personal and business qualities, level of intelligence, leadership and entrepreneurship abilities, and skills? communicate, physical and emotional state, health. 17 crossword puzzles will help you consolidate your knowledge.

The book is addressed to leaders, managers, entrepreneurs, managers - everyone who has to interact with people in difficult situations

From the review of Academician of the International Academy of Informatization, Professor I.Ya. Pisarenko:

"This book is a useful guide for anyone who wants to master the art of management. The author managed to combine high information content with an engaging presentation."

“The reliability of the rules contained in the book has been confirmed by practice. This is especially important, since many of the recommendations are new and have not yet been covered in the literature

"Brevity, clarity, bringing to specific rules and recommendations, pragmatism - this is the style of this book."

"The book is read with great interest. It systematizes a huge amount of practically useful material. I have no doubt that this book will go through more than one edition

From the review of Doctor of Psychological Sciences, Professor F.I. Ivashchenko:

"The work of V.P. Sheinov will be a useful guide for a manager. It is noticeably different both in content and in the form of presentation of material from other books on management

Over the past 13 years, the author has conducted business games and socio-psychological training for management personnel of more than 100 enterprises in Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, as well as in the Czech Republic, Slovakia, and Bulgaria. These classes revealed the weakest points in the management training of executives, managers, and entrepreneurs. The largest gaps were found in the following types of management activities:

ability to persuade

prevent and resolve conflicts,

manipulate the interlocutor and defend against manipulation,

win over your interlocutor,

manage business conversations, negotiations,

use working time effectively.

It is these sections that make up the content

the first six chapters of the proposed book. It includes only those materials from recent years that

arouse maximum interest among students,

most effective in practice,

logically completed with clear rules,

are not sufficiently covered in the literature.

The initiators of writing this book were the students themselves, who constantly raised the question of developing manuals on the topics they studied. Five such manuals, prepared by the author, were published in 1990. (they are indicated in the list of references), and in 1991, at the request of NPO Integral, the book “For the Manager on Management” was published.

Managing others begins with managing yourself. But to manage yourself, you need to know yourself well. For the purpose of self-knowledge, Chapter 7 provides 30 tests that allow you to evaluate your:

personal qualities,

As simple as, for example, buying sugar at the nearest supermarket. Only such a skill is much more expensive at its price than anything else in the world.

If you are determined to learn how to manage human psychology, Rockefeller’s words should be imprinted in your memory for the rest of your life. After all, each of us knows that personal growth is possible only in close contact with society. Human psychology is a thing that is embedded in every individual from a very early age.

Learning to manage other people

In order to have power over a person and understand his psychology, it is not enough to know only his character and how he behaves. The first thing you need to do is learn to use the acquired knowledge and apply it to a specific individual based on the characteristics of the person and his character.

In this article we will talk about how to manage human psychology and how to correctly apply the acquired knowledge in practice.

Study the characteristics of the psyche

In order for a person to go beyond the limits of his consciousness, psychologists all over the world use people. In most cases this is hypnosis. This method has a direct effect on the psyche. Once a person enters a narrowed state of consciousness, it is quite easy to suggest something to him, and you can also control his thoughts and behavior.

Of course, the pursuit of selfish goals through hypnosis is also punishable by law. It is for this reason that professional psychologists use hypnosis only when absolutely necessary. For example, if something is very disturbing to a person, using this method a psychologist will be able to “pull out” the lingering problem from the depths of consciousness.

A person is primarily based on knowledge of this very psychology, as well as on the personal characteristics of the individual. This knowledge will help one person change the behavior of another for their own benefit. In order to find out the personal qualities of the person you are interested in, watch his every action and listen to everything he says. Once you realize that you have studied it well enough, use the methods of managing people suggested in this article.

Method one: demand more

This method implies that you have to ask a person for much more than you actually need. Or, for example, ask him to do something unusual for you. Of course, he is unlikely to agree. After a short amount of time, you will be able to turn to him with a request to do for you what you really need. in this case, it is such that he simply cannot refuse you. The whole point is that he will be embarrassed to refuse a second time, and the second request compared to the first will seem much easier to him.

Method two: address the interlocutor exclusively by name

This advice is given by a world-famous psychologist. In his opinion, by addressing a person by name, you thereby confirm his importance. It is the name that is pleasant for a person’s perception. After all, if a person has it, it means he exists or once existed.

Naturally, if you confirm the importance of your interlocutor, you will receive favor and respect in return. It is worth saying here that this rule must also be applied to ranks, ranks, titles and social roles. For example, if you call the same person your best friend for long enough, sooner or later he will subconsciously begin to believe that there is a friendship between you.

Method three: flattery

As we have already said, managing human psychology is a rather difficult thing, even if at first glance it seems that winning over your interlocutor is quite easy. This also applies to this method. Sometimes it seems to us that in order to win someone over, we just need to tell him compliments and all sorts of pleasant words. The most important thing here is not to overdo it. After all, if a person understands that you are talking to him through false compliments, a storm of indignation will arise in his soul. And then there can be no talk of any sympathy or affection. The main thing is to understand that this method cannot be applied to everyone and not in every situation.

Managing a person in this way means that you seem to confirm all the hidden thoughts and feelings of your interlocutor.

Method four: reflection

The whole point of it is to at some point imitate the person you are interested in. After all, every individual is inclined to friendship with those who are more or less similar to him. The most interesting thing is that after such a reception, the “experimental” will continue to communicate on a positive note for some period of time with other people who did not take part in your conversation. Here the psychology of management is based on the same principles as in the case of calling by name.

Method five: take advantage of your interlocutor’s fatigue

Of course, if you ask a person for something at a time when he is tired and wants to rest, he is unlikely to agree to your request. In this case, you definitely need to emphasize its full significance. Believe me, the next day your opponent will definitely do what you asked him to do yesterday. The thing is that when we refuse someone something, we feel discomfort.

Method six: a simple request

In order to understand how to manage human psychology, first of all, as we have already said, it is necessary to learn as much as possible about him. Approach the person you are interested in and ask for something very simple. After a short period of time, ask the same person for something more difficult. This method involves a person gradually getting used to increasing complexity.

The most important thing is not to ask for everything at once. A lot of time should pass between your requests, otherwise you will simply be considered impudent.

Method seven: listen more, talk less

Even if at some point in the conversation you begin to understand that you completely disagree with the opinion of your interlocutor, you should not immediately attack him with your arguments and thoughts. Learn to listen first. After he finishes his speech, tell him that you really appreciate his position, but you have your own personal opinion on this matter. After this, your interlocutor will understand that he means something to you, and will try to listen to you, even if he does not share your point of view.

Method eight: paraphrase the words

Using this technique, you can easily and simply establish contact with almost any person. This method implies that during a conversation you should from time to time pronounce the phrases of your interlocutor, only in different words. This approach will help a person understand himself, and also make sure that you are a true friend and compassionate comrade.

In conclusion, we will say that strong-willed and charismatic individuals know best how to manage human psychology. They are the ones who manage to win over the interlocutor and make him fulfill their request. For the most part, such people do not know refusal.

Training

Now you have an idea of managing a person and his actions. In this case, the whole secret lies in the individual’s psyche. Separately, it is worth saying that to train your skills, you can use online games “Managing People” as practice. And as you understand, in order to win over a person, it is not at all necessary to use such a complex method as hypnosis. Moreover, by using these techniques for managing people, you can completely eliminate the feeling of discomfort and “use” that are necessarily present after hypnosis.

The main thing is that you can use the knowledge you gain to build friendly and good relationships with the people around you!