How to avoid petty family quarrels? How not to quarrel with your husband every day The culture of arguing

How to stop quarreling over trifles?

In every family there are disagreements, you can’t do without it. Everyone quarrels: children, teenagers, parents, wives and husbands. Every time there is a reason for the dispute and its consequences. The worst thing is if quarreling occur between husband and wife escalating into a serious conflict.

It often happens like this: a young family solves everyday difficulties, just lives. And quarrels seem to appear out of nowhere.

For example, a husband goes to another city for work and calls his wife back every day.

And then, for some reason, calls become less frequent, he has friends with whom he has fun. The wife, of course, expects at least a call from him in the evening, but he simply forgets about her.

Just think, I didn’t call her, I’m just tired! - so the husband thinks.

And it would not even occur to him that the girl would be upset to such an extent that she would not be able to fall asleep all night.

Yes, how could he go to bed, and even turned off the phone, without talking to me and without asking how I was doing?! - the wife will worry all night.

Of course, she would call him in the morning herself and ask what happened. But different thoughts will come into her head, and not all of them will be pleasant. The husband does not understand what claims to him, and the wife is offended.

Then mutual insults will begin, they will interfere with relations, and it is not yet known how it will all end, because trust will begin to disappear.

At first glance, it will seem that there is no serious reason for quarrels. But the "hotbed of conflict" in this case will be the behavior of her husband. He does not want to understand that his inattention to trifles offends his wife. After all, she remembers him and will never go to bed unless she finds out how his day went.

A woman may not be interested in her husband if she has ceased to have the same feelings for him. Therefore, as soon as her husband forgets to call her or at least send an SMS, she, by her logic, understands everything unambiguously: he has a new hobby, and now he does not need her!

A husband, if he finds out about such female thoughts, will not even understand on what basis they appeared in principle. But do not forget that a woman lives for love and for the sake of this feeling, but for a man everything is not so. If you do not know how a man loves, be sure to read this interesting information.

But after all, a woman can be wrong, because men are arranged in a completely different way, and their logic is very different from that of a woman. Therefore, the most important thing to do is just to talk and find the cause of the conflict. Otherwise, the wife will come up with so many things and wind up in her head ...

In this case, there was a cooling of relations between the spouses, since they both live at a distance from each other. And now both are rethinking their family life and get used to it.

When quarrels in the family begin for no apparent reason, simply because of trifles, then a serious problem lies at the heart of these conflicts. For example, between a husband and wife there is a closed topic that both do not want to talk about.

Maybe some old grudge from years ago, or even the fear of losing each other. The husband has long forgotten about it, but the wife has not!

If the wife does not trust her husband, and he does not believe her words, this can also be a cause of disagreement.

When you realize that a quarrel may soon begin, ask yourself a simple question: what exactly are you trying to achieve? What do you specifically want? Why You Need It?

Remember that any quarrels in the family are a snowball. Once they begin to occur on a regular basis, no one knows what consequences this may lead to in the future. And these consequences can be serious, up to a complete break in relations and the collapse of the family.

Of course, you know that it is easier to put out a fire before it has flared up.

In any dispute, one word that is spoken out with anger in a fit of anger can ignite your usual quarrel into a global conflict, when a calm conversation turns into a scream.

And that's it, here all the grievances that the spouses have inflicted on each other in recent years will already be remembered. Words spoken in a fit of anger will remain after the end of the quarrel. Forgetting them will be very difficult. And then they will become the cause of the next quarrel. It turns out vicious circle when one conflict in the family begins to feed another.

Therefore, do not forget one simple rule: always think about what you say. Do not humiliate each other with words. After all, they can hurt the person you love more than a knife. And such a “weapon” that you plant in a person’s heart will inflict an incurable wound.

It will, of course, drag on over time, but the heart will be more vulnerable than before.

And you will no longer be treated with such trust as it once was.

And who is to blame for this? Only you yourself, because you were too cruel with your soulmate.

A heart that hurts a loved one in this way can not only hurt, it is torn apart along with your soul. Many women know about this, but men do not even suspect.

And then they wonder why his wife leaves him for another. Any woman has a limit of patience, after which there is no return to her former feelings.

During a conflict, certain boundaries cannot be crossed if you do not want a complete break in relations in the future. You can not humiliate a person, call him names, compare him with others.

For example, a wife yells at her husband: “Everyone’s husbands help with the housework, but you just sit in the garage with your friends, your hands won’t fall off if you at least take out the trash!”

Why do this, what will you achieve?

It is better to talk to your husband in a calm atmosphere and explain to him how hard it is for you to pull on yourself not only children, but everything household, and at the same time still go to work and do all the chores around the house.

No man can be such a chump not to understand this!

A simple human conversation always brings results.

Children, if they were around at such a moment, will receive psychological trauma, and then this will affect your life.

The reproaches with which spouses attack each other gradually kill love. Are you constantly reproached and blamed for something? Naturally, you become defensive.

An invisible wall appears between you, which gradually becomes so thick that it is impossible to hear behind it what they are trying to tell you. What is love?

The abuse exchanged between spouses can not only affect their relationship, but it will definitely affect the children as well. Your children will perceive this model of behavior in the family as normal, and then they will transfer it, when they grow up and create a family themselves, to their spouse.

Any quarrel does not exist by itself. It is a consequence of a problem that is hidden deep, deep. Tension gradually builds up between husband and wife, and instead of just talking, they quarrel.

For example, financial issues, jealousy or misunderstandings are reasons why you are constantly nervous. Because of money problems, a man loses all desire to have sex, he hardens and may even yell at his wife.

If you don’t like how your husband treats you, tell him, explain clearly and intelligibly “on your fingers” what is very important to you and what you would like to receive from him. Most likely, for a man, everything you tell him will be a revelation.

After all, something like that never crossed his mind. He'll be surprised when he finds out!

During quarreling both people who participate in it behave according to strange rules that they themselves came up with. For instance, wife ready to shout out all their claims, and husband suddenly becomes silent and simply refuses to speak. He believes that everything is useless, and no one hears him. Or the wife begins to be silent, and she does this for several days in a row.

One of the spouses is ready to apologize for being wrong. And the other is not going to do it at all. The stubbornness of a husband can clash with exactly the same stubbornness of a wife, especially if she or he happens to be a melancholic.

The temperaments of the spouses are great importance, because, for example, a choleric starts up half a turn and will never ask for forgiveness. And point!

If you find yourself in a situation that you do not like, and you both understand that things can go far, urgent action must be taken.

Think about this simple question: why are you arguing?

There is a good reason for this, and it lies in your relationship. If you are afraid or even do not know how to talk to each other, try "smoking the peace pipe." You need to sit next to each other and talk in order to pull out the problems that have been building up both of you inside for years.

If there are conflicts in the family, then the spouses are hiding something in their souls from each other.

As long as any problem is hushed up, it will destroy your relationship from the inside. No problem - quarrels will disappear, because there will simply be no reason for them.

Learn to yield to one another, no need to prove your case with foam at the mouth. Try to treat each other more tolerantly, forgive and do not be angry with your loved one.

Discontent has arisen - talk about it right away so that the problem does not go inside you and take root resentment for many years. Even you need to be able to be offended without destroying your relationship. Love can always melt the ice between you, you just have to fight and not offend each other.

We quarreled, so we urgently need to make peace in order to return a good relationship.

You can always fall in love with your spouse again, just for this you need to try a little and work on your relationship.

How to stop quarreling over trifles?

In every family there are disagreements, you can’t do without it. Everyone quarrels: children, teenagers, parents, wives and husbands. Every time there is a reason for the dispute and its consequences. The worst thing is if quarrels occur between husband and wife. escalating into a serious conflict.

It often happens like this: a young family solves everyday difficulties, just lives. And quarrels seem to appear out of nowhere.

For example, a husband goes to another city for work and calls his wife back every day.

And then, for some reason, calls become less frequent, he has friends with whom he has fun. The wife, of course, expects at least a call from him in the evening, but he simply forgets about her.

Just think, I didn’t call her, I’m just tired! - so the husband thinks.

And it would not even occur to him that the girl would be upset to such an extent that she would not be able to fall asleep all night.

Yes, how could he go to bed, and even turned off the phone, without talking to me and without asking how I was doing. - the wife will worry all night.

Then mutual insults will begin, they will interfere with relations, and it is not yet known how it will all end, because trust will begin to disappear.

At first glance, it will seem that there is no serious reason for quarrels. But the "hotbed of conflict" in this case will be the husband's behavior. He does not want to understand that his inattention to trifles offends his wife. After all, she remembers him and will never go to bed unless she finds out how his day went.

A husband, if he finds out about such female thoughts, will not even understand on what basis they appeared in principle. But do not forget that a woman lives for love and for the sake of this feeling, but for a man everything is not so. If you don't know how a man loves. be sure to read this interesting information.

In this case, there was a cooling of relations between the spouses, since they both live at a distance from each other. And now both are rethinking their family life and getting used to it.

Maybe some old grudge from years ago, or even the fear of losing each other. The husband has long forgotten about it, but the wife has not!

If the wife does not trust her husband, and he does not believe her words, this can also be a cause of disagreement.

When you realize that a quarrel may soon begin, ask yourself a simple question: what exactly are you trying to achieve? What do you specifically want? Why You Need It?

Of course, you know that it is easier to put out a fire before it has flared up.

In any dispute, one word that is spoken out with anger in a fit of anger can ignite your usual quarrel into a global conflict, when a calm conversation turns into a scream.

And that's it, here all the grievances that the spouses have inflicted on each other in recent years will already be remembered. Words spoken in a fit of anger will remain after the end of the quarrel. Forgetting them will be very difficult. And then they will become the cause of the next quarrel. A vicious circle will turn out when one conflict in the family begins to feed another.

It will, of course, drag on over time, but the heart will be more vulnerable than before.

And you will no longer be treated with such trust as it once was.

And who is to blame for this? Only you yourself, because you were too cruel with your soulmate.

A heart that hurts a loved one in this way can not only hurt, it is torn apart along with your soul. Many women know about this, but men do not even suspect.

And then they wonder why his wife leaves him for another. Any woman has a limit of patience, after which there is no return to her former feelings.

During a conflict, certain boundaries cannot be crossed if you do not want a complete break in relations in the future. You can not humiliate a person, call him names, compare him with others.

Why do this, what will you achieve?

It is better to talk to your husband in a calm atmosphere and explain to him how hard it is for you to carry not only children, but the entire household, and at the same time go to work and do all the household chores.

No man can be such a chump not to understand this!

A simple human conversation always brings results.

Children, if they were around at such a moment, will receive psychological trauma, and then this will affect your life.

The reproaches with which spouses attack each other gradually kill love. Are you constantly reproached and blamed for something? Naturally, you become defensive.

An invisible wall appears between you, which gradually becomes so thick that it is impossible to hear behind it what they are trying to tell you. What is love?

Any quarrel does not exist by itself. It is a consequence of a problem that is hidden deep, deep. Tension gradually builds up between husband and wife, and instead of just talking, they quarrel.

For example, financial matters. jealousy or misunderstanding are the reasons why you are constantly nervous. Because of money problems, a man loses all desire to have sex, he hardens and may even yell at his wife.

(“Where does sex disappear?” - read the article, it will help you understand this issue.)

Jealousy is another way to kill your love. No trust, no love. And if the reason for jealousy is real, and not far-fetched, then your relationship has long been ruined. Because each of the spouses began to live on his own, although he is still physically present in the family.

It is known that the relationship between a man and a woman goes through several stages. This is also a period of crisis, that is, pits in relationships. and seven stages of love. There is no other way, because ideal families simply does not exist, only in women's novels and films.

If you have frequent quarrels, it's time to stop swearing and just try to bring to the surface the cause of the conflicts.

For example, a woman is offended over trifles, so, at least, her husband thinks. He does everything right, forgetting to give flowers, compliments and bring at least small gifts.

A wife simply lacks attention, but for a man who has already won her, this is normal. Why do the same job twice?

The wife is completely exhausted by life, and gradually, with such an attitude of a man towards herself, she simply feels like a servant. Women have a quality that you will not find in men - sacrifice.

This is both good and bad at the same time. Imagine that you are always sacrificing yourself for others, putting yourself last. And the most annoying thing is that all your actions are not only not noticed, but also taken for granted. It's a shame? Extremely embarrassing! It's time to "tie" this.

A husband will never understand what you are sacrificing for him, well, don’t. Reconsider your views and change your attitude to what is happening, that's all. If you stop behaving like this and devoting yourself completely to another person who also does not appreciate it, you can pay more attention to yourself. Otherwise, it will turn out, as in the article "Rug for feet or beloved."

After all, something like that never crossed his mind. He'll be surprised when he finds out!

During a quarrel, both people who participate in it behave according to strange rules that they themselves came up with. For example, the wife is ready to shout out all her claims, and the husband suddenly becomes silent and simply refuses to speak. He believes that everything is useless, and no one hears him. Or the wife begins to be silent, and she does this for several days in a row.

The temperaments of the spouses are of great importance, because, for example, a choleric person starts up half a turn and will never ask for forgiveness. And point!

If you find yourself in a situation that you do not like, and you both understand that things can go far, urgent action must be taken.

Think about this simple question: why are you arguing?

If there are conflicts in the family, then the spouses are hiding something in their souls from each other.

As long as any problem is hushed up, it will destroy your relationship from the inside. No problem - quarrels will disappear, because there will simply be no reason for them.

Learn to yield to one another, no need to prove your case with foam at the mouth. Try to treat each other more tolerantly, forgive and do not be angry with your loved one.

We quarreled, so we urgently need to make peace. to restore good relations.

You can always fall in love with your spouse again, just for this you need to try a little and work on your relationship.

Who told you.

Relations between a man and a woman do not always develop quietly and peacefully, because two people have different views, each is brought up in his own way and is rarely ready to change his own opinion because of someone. That is why many couples know what petty quarrels over trifles are, which break harmony and can lead to different consequences. Women are more likely than men to take care of the climate in the family, trying to maintain good relations and create an atmosphere of calm. And more often, it is the fair sex who asks the question of how to stop quarreling with her husband and restore peace in the family.

So that frequent quarrels with her husband become less frequent, and minor domestic problems do not spoil the mood and do not affect the feelings of the spouses, it is important to understand the reasons for these disagreements and learn to recognize them at the very beginning in order to react in time.

Sometimes the reason for the scandal can be the simplest banality, which both husband and wife subsequently laugh at.

But at the moment of a quarrel, the reason seems so fundamental that it is quite difficult to stop and objectively assess the situation.

Reasons and excuses for quarrels

Often, both spouses admit that the misunderstandings that arise are caused by minor factors, while with really complex problems, mutual understanding reigns between husband and wife and a willingness to look for joint ways and exits. Reasons for petty dissatisfaction are often:

things left by one of the spouses that are not in their place;
habits that a person does unconsciously and not on purpose;
unsuccessful humor or a phrase said at the wrong time;
undersalted soup or not so cooked dish;
a practical gift instead of the expected romantic surprise;
an unfulfilled promise or forgetting some little thing.

Quarreling in trifles, the spouses are united in matters of raising children, distributing family budget and are ready to support each other in a difficult period at work. It is these constant quarrels with her husband over petty things that frustrate women the most and lead wise spouses to try to find ways to avoid them. To do this, it is not necessary to have "angelic" patience or special character traits.

Becoming a peacemaker in your own family is not as difficult as it might seem. But for this you will have to delve a little into the psychology of conflicts and be ready for changes in yourself.

Dispute Culture

When getting married or starting a new relationship, most people choose someone they respect, love, or think they love. And when quarrels arise after a while, it seems that there are no such feelings between people. In fact, this is not so, just negative emotions can “turn off” all the good that is in a person, making him aggressive and vindictive. That is why spouses are often ashamed of words and phrases spoken in the heat of a quarrel.

To prevent this from happening, it is important to be able to use the culture of conflicts, not to forget about the feeling dignity and respect for another person, especially close and dear. It is worth remembering a few simple rules

Every person is an individual who has the right to their own opinion. Even if this opinion is about the best arrangement of socks in the apartment or the ability to paint nails in the bedroom, leaving bad smell varnish.

And since everyone has the right to their opinion, it is important to be able to listen to it and try to understand it. Even if it goes against the generally accepted stereotypes and rules.

If both spouses respect the other's right to be heard and understood, any conflict will be as close to objectivity as possible. This means that it will be easier to consider and resolve it peacefully.

If an argument escalates and flares up, you need to give each other time to cool down, calm down and reconsider their own arguments. Sometimes a pause does wonders, after a lull and a truce, you no longer want to find out anything and swear again.

It is important to be able to prioritize and make compromises. A useful tool for this is the question to ask yourself: Do I want to be right or happy? And giving an answer to it, hug your loved one, yielding to him and stopping senseless disputes.

It is important to explain to your soulmate why the issue raised is important and fundamental. Even a simple argument that the sight of an unrolled tube of toothpaste causes despair and thoughts of a constant mess in the house can allow a spouse to look at this trifle differently and understand a different point of view. And understanding is often enough for acceptance and willingness to give in.

How to reconcile

If a quarrel nevertheless happened, the mood is spoiled, and the general atmosphere in the house is dull and joyless, it is important to catch your own pride in time and try to come to an agreement. Sometimes resentment and irritation make it difficult to think calmly and reason logically, but you need to try to pull yourself together and find methods of reconciliation. There are two options for the further development of the situation: you can pretend that nothing happened and communicate as before; and you can once again try to calmly discuss everything and find compromises.

The first option is good because household trifles and trifles are not worth spending time talking and litigating on them. It is important to determine for yourself how fundamental is the issue of cosmetics scattered around the house or an untwisted tube of toothpaste. Perhaps removing something yourself without starting scandals is much easier and faster than trying to re-educate your soulmate.

The second option allows you to figure out if there is a serious conflict behind a petty quarrel, the causes and reasons for which do not match. After all, it happens that a husband swears for salted borscht, and deep down he has long stopped loving his wife and dislikes her. If we discuss and discuss the problem, having initially agreed that with any increase in the degree of the dispute, a pause will be taken, it turns out that everything is not so scary and serious.

In the process of reconciliation, it is important not to let emotions take over. common sense and calmness. Indeed, in some families, attempts to reconcile can end in an even bigger scandal.

The spouses have one goal - to restore good relations and peace in the family, which means that you need to find any means and methods to achieve it. Knowing all the weaknesses of the character of your partner, you need to be able to talk with him correctly, learn to listen and convey your own position.

Original ways of reconciliation with the second half

Most often, the best solution during or after a quarrel with a spouse is to use humor and try to tune in to positive emotions. Non-standard methods will help to show feelings for your husband and show that the wife is ready for dialogue. Among these original ways reconciliation can be called:

Romantic dinner - tried and tested effective method, but, unfortunately, not many women use it. But a well-fed man is always kind and cheerful.
A small gift with a hint of a fix: for a husband who scatters socks - a box for storing them, for a spouse who forgets to spin a tube of toothpaste - a reminder card. There can be a great variety of options, you just need to connect your imagination and humor.
Buy yourself an unusual homemade suit and meet your husband with the words: “Maybe if I cook soup for you in such an outfit, it will not matter if there is salt in it?” The main thing is to make the beloved man smile, and she is able to melt any quarrel.
Please your spouse with tickets to the cinema or to football. It is important to choose what he likes, then all misunderstandings will be forgotten thanks to positive emotions.

Any conciliatory methods are good, so it is worth trying them again and again to restore the atmosphere of friendliness and tranquility in the house. Sometimes women are offended that the function of peacekeepers often falls on their fragile shoulders, but such female nature- be soft, fluid, create and maintain comfort in the family. It is the spouse who can learn to quickly get out of conflicts, or prevent them at the stage of inception. Especially if these disagreements are due to petty domestic misunderstandings.

Content

Sometimes the reason for the scandal can be the simplest banality, which both husband and wife subsequently laugh at.

But at the moment of a quarrel, the reason seems so fundamental that it is quite difficult to stop and objectively assess the situation.

Reasons and excuses for quarrels

things left by one of the spouses that are not in their place;
habits that a person does unconsciously and not on purpose;
unsuccessful humor or a phrase said at the wrong time;
undersalted soup or not so cooked dish;
a practical gift instead of the expected romantic surprise;
an unfulfilled promise or forgetting some little thing.

Quarreling over trifles, the spouses are united in matters of raising children, distributing the family budget and are ready to support each other during a difficult period at work. It is these constant quarrels with her husband over petty things that frustrate women the most and lead wise spouses to try to find ways to avoid them. To do this, it is not necessary to have "angelic" patience or special character traits.

Becoming a peacemaker in your own family is not as difficult as it might seem. But for this you will have to delve a little into the psychology of conflicts and be ready for changes in yourself.

Dispute Culture

To prevent this from happening, it is important to be able to use the culture of conflicts, not to forget about self-esteem and respect for another person, especially a close and dear one. It is worth remembering a few simple rules

Every person is a person who has the right to their own opinion. Even if this opinion concerns the best arrangement of socks in the apartment or the ability to paint nails in the bedroom, leaving an unpleasant smell of varnish.

And since everyone has the right to their opinion, it is important to be able to listen to it and try to understand it. Even if it goes against the generally accepted stereotypes and rules.

How to reconcile

In the process of reconciliation, it is important not to let emotions take precedence over common sense and calmness. Indeed, in some families, attempts to reconcile can end in an even bigger scandal.

Original ways of reconciliation with the second half

A romantic dinner is a proven and effective method, but, unfortunately, not many women use it. But a well-fed man is always kind and cheerful.
A small gift with a hint of a fix: for a husband who scatters socks - a box for storing them, for a spouse who forgets to spin a tube of toothpaste - a reminder card. There can be a great variety of options, you just need to connect your imagination and humor.
Buy yourself an unusual homemade suit and meet your husband with the words: “Maybe if I cook soup for you in such an outfit, it will not matter if there is salt in it?” The main thing is to make the beloved man smile, and she is able to melt any quarrel.
Please your spouse with tickets to the cinema or to football. It is important to choose what he likes, then all misunderstandings will be forgotten thanks to positive emotions.

They lived happily ever after... A rare married couple can boast that they have put this well-known formula into practice. But why do married couples or couples without a solid relationship have to swear so often over trifles? It seems that people have found each other, there is no need to rush around the world in search of a beloved half, here she is nearby, so dear and so understandable, but no, the scythe still finds a stone, and understandable relationships turn into complex showdowns. And words of reproaches begin to fly in a hail, falling, like well-aimed sharp arrows, into the very heart, because we know well the weaknesses of our loved ones. And always after such mini-wars, resentment remains in the soul, and irritation and anger do not immediately subside. And then, even after the truce, an unpleasant aftertaste remains for a long time, and it’s all to blame quarrel over trifle.

Everyone knows that a woman and a man are not from the same planet, but by the will of the Almighty they are now forced to live under the same roof (or be in a certain relationship). We are so different. But then why don’t other couples have quarrels over trifles, while others break dishes and scare neighbors with endless showdowns, and reconciliation is just as violent with them?

As a rule, the initiators of the scandal are women. They are more emotional, more responsible for relationships and subject to frequent mood swings. And since our sexual differences are revealed gradually, the initial stages do not carry complex relationships and quarrels over trifles.

Later, the man cannot understand how this woman could turn out of a lovely creature, who at first looked at him joyfully and admiringly, who screams like a fire and demands something else. And what does a woman who quarrels with a man usually want?

Many women swear over trifles from their own inability to receive love from a person in general, and not just from a man, and in this way she tries to forcefully attract the attention of her partner. But just the reaction turns out to be the opposite, and as a result, a quarrel over a trifle.
Some manipulate a man in this way, or try to reproach. And again, no result.

Therefore, when a woman sets herself the goal of not swearing anymore with a man over a trifling matter, this is a big step towards each other.

It is worth sorting out for yourself "in yourself". In what situation does a quarrel arise? What do I feel at this moment? And write down the words you use. If you cannot work on your own, seek help from your husband or go to a psychologist together who will help you quickly sort out your difficult relationship. So you will be able to help yourself faster and find harmony between you.

Quarrel over trifle most often has the cause of complicated relationships and lies on the surface: unwillingness to hear about the needs and desires of your partner, but there is desire achieve your goal in any way.

If your loved one does not want to hear you or is not serious about you, think, maybe the reason is not only the stinginess of his heart, but also his distrust of you? Maybe it was you who caused this mistrust?

Try to understand the feelings of your partner, go towards him, and quarrels will stop by themselves. And love will shine with renewed vigor.

Name: Tasha

All of us have found ourselves in life situations more than once when we needed support and advice. In my situation, I really want to hear advice from you, who will read my message! I dated a young man for almost two years. No matter how trite it sounds, but during this time we experienced many sorrows and joys, helped each other in what we could, went on vacation together several times, where we spent an unforgettable time. In general, this is not my first young man, but it is precisely in my feelings for him that I am completely sure: I love him and wish to be with him both in sorrow and in joy, and I will try to do a lot for his happiness. It seems to me that a woman feels whether it is a man or not her, it is rather on the subconscious. All in all, everything seemed to be fine. I started making plans for our living together trying not to push. It seemed to me that we should come to this gradually: mutual initiative, stable income, the desire to be together: fall asleep together, wake up, do amenities, and of course solve problems together. However, if you hurry, as they say, you will make people laugh. We spent a lot of time together, and apparently, we began to suffocate, it turned into petty quarrels over trifles, my resentment towards him, which turned into scandals, in general, it became hard and it grew like a snowball. In the end, in another quarrel, he decided to leave. And he said everything clearly: I don’t love you anymore, we won’t part now, then later, so it’s better to break off relations. I took it hard, but reasoning that you won’t be forced to be nice, I decided not to insist on any further relationship. I've been through it all hard, very hard. I endured a lot of instructive things for myself after the break, starting with the fact that you should not swear over trifles and shout about the end once a month, in the end, the END will come, and you will not be ready for it. I will not list the shortcomings that I endured, but it became an experience for me. Time passed ... however, the heart did not stop hoping, and so we met at a common evening with friends, after the evening he confessed to me, having drunk a lot, that this time without me was not life for him, and that he asks me to return, he made a mistake. Without hesitation, I decided that we all make a mistake, and that the main thing is that a person understood and realized. Everything was wonderful for the first couple of weeks: theaters, romance, reverent attitude, tenderness ... then we became very close again, and I began to feel that something was not right, but I could not understand what exactly. He seems to be gentle, but at the same time, as if not mine: I became jealous, and maybe even more attached. At the same time, I tried so that we would not repeat the mistakes of the past: I left personal space for myself and him, common interests, our interests separately from each other, in general, everything was fine without quarrels and claims. But again ... for the time being. It turned out that my jealousy is not groundless - intuition, damn it. He admitted that there is a problem: he is drawn to other women, he is afraid to cheat on me, while he is not sure whether he loves me or not. To my bewilderment that you decided this a couple of months ago, he answered me that he fell in love with me again, but he never experienced love, and that he does not understand how it is, that I am very dear to him, that I am a very close person to him etc. I gain patience and try to solve these problems and get to the point: something in sex does not suit me. But this is half the trouble ... I understand that such behavior is very strange for a person who loves. But we all find excuses for our loved ones, so I seem to be confused in excuses. On the one hand, I understand that a person may really not understand what he needs, he may struggle between feelings for me and with his own world. That he is simply afraid of changing something or of excessive responsibility. On the other hand, it can’t go on like this, how can you be insecure about your own feelings? And now, after a couple of days: I coped with myself, we met, and we had a conversation in which he apologized for defiling our relationship so much, and that now it's a matter of time. And we asked so strangely, he was very dejected, as if for the last time. I understand that calling, pulling on his nerves is useless. But at the same time, questions plague me: is such a separation a time for reflection or an end? Can a person understand himself and return, how sincere will it be? What should I actually expect? And is it worth it at all: I’m shaking my nerves? Maybe he really doesn’t love, he’s just afraid to admit, and I’m just a habit for him?