Psychological features. Adolescence. Features, problems, crisis, signs in a child. Psychology of the personality of girls, boys. What to do for parents Main phases of the crisis period

The period of adolescence falls on 12-15 (11-17) years. A feature of growing up is the completion of the formation of secondary sexual characteristics, as well as puberty.

Psychologically, puberty is manifested by a quick change in mood, stubbornness, irritability, a desire to be with peers most of the time, as well as other signs.

Adolescence is marked by a transition in the mind of a person from feeling like a child to understanding his growing up. Physiological changes, including hormonal changes in the body, cause a feeling that something has changed, and what exactly is not yet clear.

That's why children show a craving for everything new, as well as a denial of generally established principles, a lifestyle previously instilled by the parents.

Each child goes through this difficult period with its own difficulties and characteristics. Its duration is also different for each specific case. However, with a favorable course of the transition period, it ends by the age of 15 years.

Age features of adolescent boys

Adolescence, the characteristics of which are different for both sexes, occurs in boys with the following characteristics:

• Anger and aggressiveness. The appearance of this behavior is a consequence of the increased production of testosterone.
• Dulling feelings of fear. Also correlated with changes in testosterone levels.
• Concern about your own external data no less than girls. Intolerance of criticism about your appearance. Dissatisfaction with one's appearance can lead to insecurity and isolation.
• The desire to independently solve their problems. A boy at this age wants to be perceived as a grown man, and the inability to cope with his own troubles leads to a violation of peace of mind.
• Striving for deeds and the lifestyle of a grown man. However, the boy cannot yet fully comprehend the result of his actions.

• Sudden emotional outbursts appear which are also hormonal in nature.
• Demonstration of an increased interest in the intimate side of life, strong attraction to the opposite sex.

Teenage psychology of girls

Adolescence in girls proceeds with the following symptoms:

• Concern about one's own appearance and the inconsistency of their image with the generally accepted. Especially vividly, girls have a desire to be like friends or significant personalities in adolescent society. At this age, there is often a desire to do a hair like a friend's or dress in things that idols prefer.
• Desire to draw attention to oneself, often due to provocative behavior or outfits, as well as catchy makeup.
• Sudden mood swings are common, outbursts of anger, aggressiveness.
• A keen desire for independence arises.
• A girl usually experiences her first love at this age., which, more often than not, remains unanswered.

Internal physiological early signs of adolescence

Adolescence is characterized by different internal physiological characteristics for boys and girls.

The following features can be distinguished for boys:

• A few years before the appearance of external signs of growing up of a boy, his brain begins to produce puberty hormones - androgens, the most striking manifestation of which belongs to testosterone. It is hormones that lead to internal and external changes on the way to adulthood.
• A period of active growth begins. For a year, a child can grow by 10 cm. Moreover, in boys this period is delayed in comparison with girls by about 1 year. This leads to mismatches in the height and physique of boys and girls in early adolescence.
• Active enlargement of tubular bones. The chest unfolds and takes on a masculine shape.
• The changes also affect the internal organs. The growth of the muscular system is accelerated. The heart and lungs increase in size.
• The pituitary gland changes its activity. The thyroid gland is active.

Girls undergo similar changes in the body:

• Active production of sex hormones. Estrogens are responsible for growing up in girls. It is in adolescence, when the menstrual cycle in girls is not formed, that the uneven release of estrogen can lead to the greatest changes in mood.
• The complete formation of the pelvic organs and the girl's reproductive system ends with the formation of the menstrual cycle. Moreover, a lot of time can pass between the onset of the first menstruation and the formed monthly cycle.

The full function of the reproductive system goes through a complex formation, which consists of several stages and can last up to 8-12 years. The final formation of the reproductive system will occur only by the age of 21-22.

• Rapid growth of bones and skeleton is manifested. A girl can grow 8 cm in a year.

External physiological signs

Physiological changes in boys during puberty:

• The increase in the external genital organs occurs at the age of 10 to 11 years.
• At the age of 11-12, the first hair begins to appear in the pubic area, and skin pigmentation occurs in the testicular area.

• At the age of 12-13 years, the hair on the genitals acquires a thicker shape and lengthens, the growth of the external genital organs also continues.
• At the age of 14, the vocal cords begin to grow, the structure of the throat develops. These processes lead to a change in the voice, which becomes more like a man's. The development of the voice function and its formation takes about 2 years.
• The appearance of the first thin hair in the mustache area and in the armpits. Hair growth in other parts of the body also appears. The hair will take its final shape by the time the boy is completely puberty.
• The rapid development of muscles occurs at the age of 13-14 years. Outward manifestations include chest expansion, increased shoulder width, increased height, and general muscular strengthening of the body structure.
• The appearance of spontaneous ejaculation during sleep. Such processes appear from 10 to 16 years old and are called emissions.

External physiological changes in adolescent girls:

• Growth and expansion of the pelvic bones occurs. The thighs are more rounded. The buttocks become more pronounced. These changes occur at the age of 8-10 years.

• At the age of 9-10, the formation of the mammary glands begins. The nipple is pigmented, and the breast begins to take on a feminine shape.
• At the age of 10-11, hair appears in the armpits and in the pubic area.
• From the age of 11-12, the onset of the first menstrual period can be expected.
• By the age of 15-16, the shape of the body takes on an almost complete appearance, hair growth stabilizes, and regularity appears in the menstrual cycle.

Psychological problems of adolescents

Adolescence, the features of which, under unfavorable conditions, can lead to psychological problems, can provoke a child the following manifestations:

Social relationships

Adolescence, the features of which represent an exit to a renewed stage in social relationships, is focused on finding oneself in human society.

The basic needs for the socialization of a teenager are manifested in the desire to connect with peers and to separate from adults. Also important is the adolescent's need for people to recognize his independence and claims to the rights and freedoms of his personality.

The nature of communication with peers, which is so important for a child at puberty, can be divided into age groups:

• 10-11 years old. The need to be in a society of peers, joint activities.
• 12-13 years old. The need to assert one's own persona in the hierarchy of adolescent society, the desire to take the right position among peers.
• 14-15 years old. The prevalence of the desire for independence, recognition of the importance of one's personality.

As a rule, in adolescent communities, despite all the denial of the adult behavior model, a hierarchy of generally accepted human values ​​is established. Various species distortions are possible, which depend on upbringing and the environment, but the fundamental ones are honesty, loyalty, camaraderie and other norms of behavior in society.

In relationships with adults, it is customary to talk about the emancipation of the adolescent, his separation from the society of adults and some of its rules.

At the same time, social relations with an adult are of a dual nature:

• The teenager counts on equality and the consolidation of his rights on an equal basis with all representatives of society, because he is already an adult.
• A teenager needs support, protection from adults. The preservation of the previous forms of control over the activities of the adolescent, at the same time, provokes a violent protest.

Typical conflict behavior in social relationships is manifested in any case, but its severity and intensity largely depend on the manner of communication of the adult, his respectful attitude towards the personality of the adolescent.

How to talk to a teenager

Rules for talking with a teenage child:

• Don't read the notation. They are unpleasant even for young children. And if you start a conversation with a grown-up child with moralizing, then in a minute his attention will switch to something more interesting.

• No need to press charges. It is worth conducting moralizing conversations in a soft and unobtrusive manner.
• Conversations between cases. It is unpleasant for a teenager to pay more attention to his problems, because he thinks that he can cope with most of them on his own. Therefore, face-to-face conversations may not bring the desired result. It is much more effective to have a careful conversation in the process of joint activities, as if between things.
• Adherence to modern technical advances. It is often easier to express your thoughts and open problems in writing. Modern social networks and instant messengers allow you to communicate with your child in a form familiar to the adolescent community.
• Praise should not be feared. A teenager, because of his insecurity, is in dire need of approval. It is prudent to express support for the child's hobbies and interests.
• You should refrain from screaming and raised tones. in a conversation with a teenager. A calm tone is perceived easier at this age.

Causes of the crisis

The crisis period in adolescence can proceed almost imperceptibly or, on the contrary, bring conflicts and deviant behavior with it. The reasons why such a difference is possible can be divided into external and internal.

External causes of the adolescent crisis include:

• excessive control of the child's actions by the parents;
• overprotection, which calls into question the adolescent's ability to be independent;
• dependence in relationships between family members.

Internal reasons lie in the psychological characteristics of each particular child. Personality traits that interfere with self-affirmation, self-expression are internally perceived as serious flaws. There is a tendency to self-blame yourself as a failed person.

The restructuring of the body, the production of a significant amount of hormones leads to puberty, the adjustment of all body systems. However, like any restructuring, it is fraught with problems of adapting to new thinking and a new body, which causes behavioral problems.

Behavior during a crisis

The adolescent's behavior is characterized by the characteristics of an adult, combined with the traits that a small child possesses.

Features in behavior inherent in adolescence:

• Refusal to study, perform household duties.
• Expressed protest behavior, which consists in skipping classes, running away from home.
• Imitative behavior. Imitation is expressed in the desire to be like your ideal adult or peer.
• Compensatory behavior. Compensation for shortcomings and inability to achieve results in a certain area of ​​activity, achievements in another area.
• Emancipation. It manifests itself in the desire to separate from adults, independence, the desire to solve their problems personally.
• There is a desire for grouping with peers.
• The emergence of hobbies, hobbies in which the child achieves self-expression.
• Increased interest in sexual problems, attraction to the opposite sex.

The main phases of the crisis period

Adolescence, the features of which are different for certain age intervals, can be characterized by two phases:

• Younger adolescence. Falls at 12-13 years old.

The physiological aspects of the growing up of the body lead to a spurt in the growth of the child, there is a disproportionate body, awkwardness. The teenager begins to think that he is no longer different from an adult. There is an awareness of their individuality, often through the prism of the chosen standard from among adults.

During this period, it is important for parents and other adults to form an appropriate attitude towards the child. It is necessary to communicate with him as an equal adult., take into account his opinion and individual preferences.

Ignoring this advice can lead to destructive behavior in a teenager: an increase in feelings of anxiety, loss of a sense of security, a breakdown in the sense of balance of the individual.

• Senior adolescence. It falls on average for 14-16 years.

The formation of secondary sexual characteristics ends, the child becomes more and more like an adult. The first life plans and strategies for their implementation appear, that is, the child goes along the path of full awareness of his own personality.

Also, the cultural predisposition to certain objects, occupations and other forms of realization of one's personality is determined.

Factors influencing the course of the adolescent crisis

There are a number of factors that can prolong or complicate the adolescent crisis period:

• The environment in which the upbringing and life of the child takes place.
• Peer relationships.
• Poor microclimate in family relationships of parents.
• The image of the relationship between students in an educational institution.
• Lack of communication, which leads to the fact that the child has no one to tell about his experiences.
• Misunderstanding and rejection of the child's personality by parents and teachers.
• Bad examples among the environment.
• Character traits of a teenager.
• The time and nature of the onset of puberty.

How to help get through a tough time

The physiological changes along with the psychological problems during the adolescent crisis are quite difficult for the growing up child. Parents need to make the most of their efforts, coupled with the delicacy of the situation. Each child is unique, therefore, the approach to him during adolescence should be unique.

You need to be patient and try to follow these tips:

• It is unobtrusive to enter the environment of the child. The main task is to become a true friend of a teenager. The parent will have to counteract the confidence of misunderstanding on the part of adults with a calm and benevolent approach.

You can make the teenager understand his weaknesses and shortcomings, expose his complexes. Having entered the environment of the child, the parent will be able to participate in life situations that he will share and help in solving problems if necessary.

• Show interest in the child's hobbies and activities. Support and praise will not be superfluous for the emerging personality. It will also be useful to talk about the thoughts and reasoning of the teenager, his points of view on various issues. It will not be superfluous to ask his opinion in solving family issues.
• Granting freedom. For a teenager, personal space is especially important, ideally his own room. Freedom and the right to choose is a fundamental principle in communication and relations with a child of adolescence. It is necessary to restrain yourself from the desire to control the actions, things and feelings of the teenager.

Failure to follow this advice can lead to communication problems. The best thing in communicating with an older child is finding compromises and unobtrusively directing the course of his thoughts in the right direction.

• Inadmissibility of critical remarks. If one cannot do without them, then it is much better to point out the criticality of the act than the insufficiently good qualities of the person himself. Teenagers overreact to negative remarks about themselves, so it is necessary to speak softly, and sometimes accompanied by praise.
• Personality recognition. A teenager is a full-fledged person with personal interests and opinions. Don't try to impose your own conclusions.
• Praise. It is especially important for a child at this age due to the formation of mental processes and awareness of his own personal value.

• Patient about emotional attacks from the side of the child. It should not be forgotten that a violent reaction to an adolescent's inappropriate behavior on the part of a parent can undermine his authority and lead to a breach of trust in the relationship. It is necessary to conduct conversations in a calm atmosphere and in a calm tone.

For both the child and his parents, adolescence is a difficult time. However, its features are temporary phenomena that largely depend on the correct perception of the child by parents and people around them.

Parents are able to help their child survive the crisis period and help him to form the necessary integrity of his personality and life attitudes that correspond to generally accepted moral norms.

Article formatting: Natalie Podolskaya

Video about the features of adolescence

Adolescence in girls and boys - features of the course:

A specific feature of this period is that, on the one hand, in terms of the nature of mental development, this is a typical era of childhood, on the other, we have a growing person who has in many ways already adult desires, thoughts and his own views, a focus on new actions.

The most important fact of physical development in adolescence - puberty, the beginning of the functioning of the gonads. Puberty provokes an intensive growth of the skeleton, reaching 4-7 cm per year, which outstrips the development of muscles. All this leads to some disproportionate body, adolescent angularity. Children often feel awkward and awkward at this time. Secondary sexual characteristics appear - external signs of puberty, and this happens at different times in different children. In connection with the rapid development, difficulties arise in the functioning of the heart, lungs, blood supply to the brain. Therefore, adolescents are characterized by changes in vascular and muscle tone. And such changes cause a quick change in physical condition and, accordingly, mood.

In adolescence emotional background becomes uneven, unstable. To this it should be added that the child is forced to constantly adapt to the physical and physiological changes taking place in his body, to experience the very "hormonal storm". Emotional instability is enhanced by sexual arousal that accompanies the process of sexual maturation. Most boys are becoming increasingly aware of the origins of this excitement. Girls have more individual differences: some of them experience the same strong sexual arousal, but most of them are more vague, related to the satisfaction of other needs (affection, love, support, self-esteem). During this period, gender identity reaches a higher level. An orientation towards masculinity and femininity, behavior and personality manifestations is clearly manifested. But the child can still combine both traditional feminine and traditionally masculine qualities.

At this time, a person's interest in his appearance sharply increases. A new image of the physical “I” is being formed. Because of its high importance, the child is acutely experienced with all the flaws in appearance, real as well as imaginary (associated with fashion for a too thin body, freckles, too large or small breasts in girls, lack of athletic physique in boys). Disproportionate body parts, awkward movements, irregular facial features, acne on the skin, being overweight or thin - all this is very frustrating and sometimes leads to feelings of inferiority, isolation, even neurosis. Cases of anorexia nervosa in girls are typical; boys may become withdrawn, shy, withdrawn.

Simultaneously with the external, objective manifestations of adulthood, the adolescent's attitude to himself as an adult arises, the feeling of being practically an adult. it major neoplasm adolescence.

Adolescence is characterized by anxiety, anxiety, a teenager's tendency to sudden mood swings, negativism, conflict and contradictory feelings, aggressiveness.

Psychological features adolescence:

Mood swings;

Desire to be recognized and appreciated by others combined with ostentatious independence and bravado;

Selfishness manifests itself along with devotion and self-sacrifice;

Rudeness and unceremoniousness are combined with incredible personal vulnerability, fluctuations in expectations - from radiant optimism to the most gloomy pessimism;

Sensitivity to the assessment by others of his appearance, abilities, strength, skills is aggravated, and all this is combined with excessive self-confidence.

Features of the development of cognitive (intellectual) from the ferry.

The development of cognitive processes in adolescence is characterized by the transition to abstract, theoretical thinking. A teenager is able to quite easily abstract from concrete, visual material, is capable of verbal reasoning and analysis of abstract (abstract) ideas.

Attention becomes more and more selective and depends to a large extent on the focus of the child's interests.

Sensations and perceptions are at a fairly high level of development. There is an active development of creative abilities and the formation of an individual style of activity, including mental. The style of thinking is mainly determined by the type of the nervous system, the deficiencies of which can be compensated for by its other properties. In general, the intellectual development of a child in adolescence reaches a very high level.

Features of the motivational sphere.

In adolescence, a person's motivational sphere undergoes dramatic changes. These changes are both quantitative and qualitative. A hierarchical structure of motives is built. With the development of the processes of self-awareness, a qualitative change in motives is observed, they become more stable, many interests take on the character of a persistent hobby. Motives arise on the basis of a consciously set goal.

The main task of adolescence is gaining adulthood, both physiologically and socially.

The formation of a sense of personal identity is one of the most important neoplasms in adolescents; it includes: bodily, sexual, professional, ideological and moral identity.

In search of his identity, the adolescent seeks to emancipate (separate) from his parents. Gaining autonomy in adolescence suggests:

Emotional emancipation, i.e. freeing him from those emotional relationships that formed in his early childhood;

Formation of intellectual independence, i.e. the ability to think independently, critically, the ability to independently make decisions;

Behavioral autonomy, which manifests itself in the most diverse areas of adolescent life - from the choice of clothing style, social circle, ways of spending time to choosing a profession.

Leading activity.

Communication with peers at this age takes on the character of a primary necessity.

1. Communicating with peers, adolescents receive the necessary information that they cannot get from adults.

2. Communicating with each other, they acquire the necessary skills of social interaction.

Introduction

Adolescence is the most difficult and difficult of all childhood ages. It is also called transitional, because during this period there is a kind of transition from childhood to adulthood, from immaturity to maturity, which permeates all aspects of a teenager's life. The successful formation of a child, adolescent, and subsequently a young person as a person determines not only his inclusion in public life, but also his finding his own niche.

Features of the development of a teenager

Adolescence is the age from 10-11 to 15 years old. Adolescence is called transitional age, because during this period there is a kind of transition from childhood to adulthood, from immaturity to maturity. In this sense, a teenager is a half-child and half-adult: childhood has already passed, but maturity has not yet come. The transition from childhood to adulthood permeates all aspects of the development of a teenager and his anatomical, physiological, intellectual, and moral development, and all types of his activities: educational, labor and play.

In adolescence, the living conditions and activities of a schoolchild seriously change, which leads to a restructuring of the psyche, breaking up old, established forms of relationships with people. Schoolchildren move on to a systematic study of the foundations of the sciences. And this requires a higher level of their mental activity: deep generalizations and proofs, understanding of more complex and abstract relationships between objects, the formation of abstract concepts. The student's social position and his position in the team change significantly. The student begins to play a much larger role in the school and family, more serious demands are made on the part of society and the collective, on the part of adults.

The most important fact of the physical development of adolescents is puberty, the beginning of the functioning of the gonads. The onset of puberty depends to a large extent on national, ethnographic and climatic factors, as well as on the characteristics of individual life (health status, past illnesses, nutrition, work and rest, environment, etc.). Most boys mature sexually by age 15, and girls by age 13-14. Despite the fact that the body becomes sexually mature by the age of 13-15, it is, of course, impossible to talk about physical, and even more spiritual, ideological, social, civic maturity at this age.

Development of thinking. In the process of learning, the thinking of the adolescent is very noticeably improved. The content and logic of the subjects studied at school, the change in the nature and forms of educational activity form and develop his ability to actively, independently think, reason, compare, make deep generalizations and conclusions. The teacher's confidence in the mental capabilities of the adolescent is as much as possible consistent with the age characteristics of his personality.

Development of observation, memory, attention. In the process of learning, a teenager acquires the ability for a complex analytical-synthetic perception of objects and phenomena. Perception becomes planned, consistent and comprehensive. The adolescent perceives not only what lies on the surface of phenomena, although much here depends on his attitude to the perceived object. Lack of interest, indifference to the material - and the student amazes with the superficiality, lightness of his perception. A teenager may watch and listen in good faith, but the perception will be casual.

The labor of a teenager. As a rule, teenagers are very willing to work. Firstly, this expresses such a striking age feature as the activity of adolescents. Secondly, in serious work, they get the opportunity to realize the feeling of adulthood that is forming in them, and the guys value this opportunity very much. Thirdly, work usually takes place in a team, and the significance of life and work in a team for a teenager is very great. Thus, the labor activity of adolescents is an activity that fully meets their age characteristics and needs. The observed cases of laziness, evasion from work, ignorance of one's work duties, negligent attitude to work assignments are solely a consequence of improper upbringing.

Labor makes it possible to form in adolescents the skills of independent planning, which is directly related to the development of independent thinking. Therefore, it is important that adolescents do not always receive ready-made instructions on how to perform and the sequence of individual labor operations, but establish this on their own, analyzing the work assignment they received.

In shaping the personality of a teenager, a teacher must rely on an emotionally colored desire, which is extremely characteristic of a teenager, to actively participate in the life of the team. The acquisition of experience of collective relationships directly affects the development of the personality of a teenager. The team develops a sense of duty and responsibility, the desire for mutual assistance, solidarity, the habit of subordinating personal interests, when necessary, to the interests of the team. The opinion of the peers' collective, the collective assessment of the actions and behavior of the adolescent are very important for him. As a rule, the public assessment of the class team means more to a teenager than the opinion of teachers or parents, and he usually reacts very sensitively to the amicable influence of a team of friends. Therefore, the presentation of requirements for a teenager in a team and through a team is one of the ways to form his personality.

The attraction of adolescents to the team is often expressed in the fact that they organize street, yard companies. Most of these groups are stable formations, which are led by older guys - boys 17-20 years old. Of course, not all such companies should cause a wary attitude on the part of educators. But in any case, it is necessary to take a closer look at them, observe and try to involve them in the sphere of influence of public organizations.

It is necessary to highlight a number of the most important directions in which the development of personality is going. This is an intensive formation and development of: a) moral (moral) consciousness, 6) self-awareness, c) feelings of adulthood, and d) communication activities.

Thus, adolescence covers the period from 11-12 to 15 years. During these years, a restructuring of the whole organism takes place. Therefore, adolescence is usually called transitional. At this time, intellectual, moral and physical forces are actively developing. The modern teenager strives to comprehend himself and the world around him, has a wide range of spiritual needs, interests and hobbies. The teenager is distinguished by an increased interest in his inner world, his strengths and capabilities, and in life goals. The adolescent's desire to actively influence himself does not always coincide, and sometimes even conflicts with his habits, spontaneously arisen desires. As a result, disorganization and indiscipline appear. An important feature of adolescent thinking is criticality, especially in relation to the statements of adults. There is a desire to understand life on your own. This feature of the teenager's thinking contributes to the development of independent views and beliefs, which is important in the formation of his personality. Physical development at this age is characterized by intensive growth of the body in length. Therefore, the teenager looks long, narrow-chested, awkward. This affects his posture and gait.

INTRODUCTION

The age period is a cycle of child development, which has its own structure and dynamics.

Psychological age, according to L.S. Vygotsky is a qualitatively unique period of mental development, characterized, first of all, by the appearance of a neoplasm, which was prepared by the entire course of previous development. The psychological age may not coincide with the chronological age of an individual child recorded on his birth certificate and then in his passport. The age period has certain boundaries. But these chronological boundaries can shift, and one child will enter a new age period earlier, and another later. The boundaries of adolescence associated with the puberty of children "float" especially strongly.

The adolescent period is the period of completion of childhood, growing out of it, transitional from childhood to adulthood. The ability for reflection, formed in educational activity, is “directed” by the student towards himself. Comparing himself with adults and with younger children leads the adolescent to the conclusion that he is no longer a child, but rather an adult. The teenager begins to feel like an adult and wants those around him to recognize his independence.

Feeling mature is a psychological symptom of early adolescence. This is puberty. Physical, physiological, psychological changes, the appearance of sexual desire make this period extremely difficult.

PSYCHOLOGICAL FEATURES OF ADOLESCENT AGE

Adolescence is the period of completion of childhood, growing out of it,transitional from childhood to adulthood. It usually correlates with a chronological age from 10-11 to 14-15 years. The ability to reflect, formed in educational activities in the middle grades of school, is directed by the student to himself. Comparing himself with adults and with younger children leads the adolescent to the conclusion that heno longer a child, but rather an adult. The teenager begins to feel like an adult and wants others to recognize his independence and importance.

Basic psychologicalteen needs - striving for communication with peers, striving for independence and independence, emancipation from adults, for recognition of their rights by other people.

Feeling mature is a psychological symptom of early adolescence. According to the definition of D.B. Elkonina, there is a sense of maturityneoplasm of consciousness, through which a teenager compares himself with others (adults or comrades), finds models for assimilation, builds his relationships with other people, rebuilds his activities. The adolescence transition, of course, includes a biological aspect. This is the period of puberty, the intensity of which is emphasized by the concept of hormonal storm. Physical, physiological, psychological changes, the appearance of sexual desire make this period extremely difficult, including for the most rapidly growing teenager in every sense.

Adolescence. Why is this age difficult?

The main content of adolescence is its transition from childhood to adulthood. All aspects of development undergo a qualitative restructuring, new psychological formations arise and are formed. The developmental period covers the age from 10-11 to 14-15 years.

Most often, difficulties are associated with puberty. In the course of rapid growth and physiological restructuring of the body, adolescents may experience anxiety, increased excitability, depression, many begin to feel awkward, awkward due to the mismatch in the growth rates of different parts of the body. The age at which the first signs of puberty appear, as well as the sequence of the appearance of these signs, varies considerably. Low self-esteem can be a consequence of worries about this. It is not easy for a teenager to maintain a subjective sense of the integrity and stability of his “I”, or a sense of identity, which in turn gives rise to many personal problems. One of them, in particular, is associated with the appearance in adolescence of sexual attraction, which often changes the entire system of motives and experiences.

Even perfectly healthy adolescents are characterized by extreme instability of moods, behavior, constant fluctuations in self-esteem, a sharp change in physical condition and well-being, vulnerability, and inadequacy of reactions. This age is so rich in conflicts and complications that some researchers tend to view it as one continuous protracted conflict, as a "normal pathology".

All this requires from adults close attention to each teenager, extreme subtlety, delicacy, thoughtfulness and caution when working with him.

The main problems of age.

Communication with peers. Relationships with comrades are at the center of a teenager's life, largely determining all other aspects of his behavior and activities. The attractiveness of classes and interests are mainly determined by the possibility of wide communication with peers.

It is important for a teenager not only to be with his peers, but also, most importantly, to occupy a position that satisfies him among them. For some, this desire may be expressed in the desire to take the place of a leader in the group, for others - to be recognized, beloved comrade, for others - an indisputable authority in any matter, but in any case, it is the leading motive of the behavior of children in the middle classes. Studies show that it is the inability, the inability to achieve such a situation that is most often the cause of indiscipline and even delinquency. Therefore, first of all, it is useful for adults to analyze and “work out” exactly the version of “communication with peers” as concretely as possible: what kind of relationships with peers the child had before, what has changed, whether these relationships satisfy him, what role he claims in the peer group, etc. etc.

The subjective significance for the adolescent of the sphere of his communication with peers contrasts significantly with the obvious underestimation of this significance by adults, especially teachers. While for adolescents concerns about communication with peers are most significant, teachers believe that the center of adolescents' experiences is about communication with teachers, and parents believe that adolescents are more worried about communicating with their parents.

Adults, as a rule, have no idea about the dynamics of motives for communication with peers during adolescence.The dynamics of communication motives can be schematically represented as follows. If in grade 5 the dominant motive for communicating with peers is a simple desireto be in their midst, then already in grades 6-7, motive comes firsttake a certain place in the team peers. In grades 8-9, the teenager's desire toautonomy in the peer group and the search for recognition of the value of one's own personality in the eyes of peers. Analysis shows that many adolescents find themselves frustrated with the need to “be significant in the eyes of their peers,” which leads to difficult experiences.

Parents of adolescents write off all the problems of their communication with peers due to the lack of those children with whom their son or daughter communicates. At the same time, studies show that, starting from grade 7, adolescents begin to intensively develop personal and interpersonal reflection, as a result of which they begin to see the reasons for their conflicts, difficulties, or, on the contrary, success in communicating with peers in the peculiarities of their own personality.

The content of communication among younger adolescents focuses mainly around issues of learning and behavior, and for older adolescents - around issues of personal communication, the development of individuality. Against this background, 8-9 graders become more critical of their own shortcomings, which can affect their communication with other people. A teenager at this age needs the help of an adult, but adults most often do not perceive his problems.

The teacher and the parent need to develop the ability to "decentrate", the ability to see the problems of communication between a teenager and peers, not only "from their own bell tower", but also through the eyes of the teenager himself.

Teenager and adults ... The first source of this problem is the lack of understanding by adults of the adolescent's inner world, their false or primitive ideas about his experiences, the motives of certain actions, aspirations, values. It has already been said that adults clearly underestimate the importance of the sphere of communication with peers for a teenager, and this is the beginning and end of any popular book on the psychology of adolescence. What can we say about more complex and less obvious things!

Parents stop seeing their children, and teachers stop seeing their students; the place of these specific and different adolescents begins to be replaced by some abstract and distorted version of it, gleaned from newspapers, from the conversations of adults among themselves, but not from the real and living vision of the child.

Both parents and teachers of adolescents, for the most part, do not know how to see, let alone take into account in the practice of upbringing that fast, intensive process of growing up that takes place during adolescence, they are trying with all their might to preserve the "childish" forms of control, communication with children. This is especially acute in the senior teenage classes, whose students have a huge need to communicate with adults “on an equal footing,” rarely having the opportunity to satisfy it. The result is the opposition of oneself, one's “I” to adults, the need for autonomy.

Let me stop at one more point. Adults, seeing a teenager growing up, most often notice in this process only its negative sides: the teenager has become "naughty", "secretive", etc. - and completely ignore the sprouts of the positive, the new. One of these germs is the development in adolescent of the ability toempathy towards adults, the desire to help them, to support,divide their grief or joy. Adults themselves are at best ready to show compassion and empathy towards the teenager, but they are not at all ready.accept similar attitude on his part. It is clear why this happens - in order to accept this attitude of a teenager, it is precisely necessary to be "on an equal footing" with him. It turns out that adults only try to give something to a teenager, not wanting, and not being able to take anything.

Communication of a teenager with teachers turns out to be even more intense, "neglected", unproductive from the point of view of the child's personal development. Research shows that the experiences of adolescents with their interactions with teachers occupy one of the last places (teachers themselves very inadequately assign these experiences of adolescents the first place in importance). In addition, adolescents have mostly negative experiences with teachers.

The nature of communication with teachers and the subjective attitude towards him changes during adolescence. If the leading motive for communication among younger adolescents is the desire to receive support, encouragement of the teacher for learning, behavior and school work, then in older adolescence - the desire for personal communication with him. Starting from the 7th grade, adolescents are more and more concerned about the professional and personal qualities of teachers. And if the professional qualities of teachers of adolescents are generally satisfied, then the personal ones are not. This dissatisfaction with the personal qualities of teachers is perceived by adolescents most often as a problem of the teacher's "fairness". However, despite adolescents' dissatisfaction with the personal qualities of the teacher, they still strive to communicate with the teacher. Teachers, as a rule, do not understand this. Thus, with age, the situation developsaccretions adolescents have a need for personal communication with teachers and - the impossibility of meeting it. This is how the conflict zone expands.

School teenager. For all the importance of communication, the basis of the social situation of the development of a modern adolescent is the simple and obvious circumstance that he is a schoolboy. The main social requirement for a teenager is to master a certain amount of knowledge, skills and abilities, without which his further full participation in the life of society is impossible.

The decline in academic performance often seen in middle school grades can be attributed to a variety of reasons.

If in children of primary school age, academic failure can in most cases be overcome in the course of in-depth studies with a teacher, and an increase in academic performance leads, as a rule, to an improvement in the child's communication with friends, then in adolescence everything seems to change places.It is impossible, "pulling out" academic performance, to solve all the other personality problems of a teenager. You can only do the opposite: by solving the personality problems of a teenager, help improve academic performance.

The most common cause of poor learning in the middle grades islack of adequate motivation for learning , i.e. unwillingness to learn.

However, the creation of adequate motivation for learning in adolescents, and especially when the adolescent has already lost interest in learning, is a very difficult matter that requires subtle psychological instrumentation, an individual approach to each adolescent.

Often in modern schools, adolescents' loss of the meaning of learning is the result of pedagogical work. Starting from 6-7 grades, teachers begin to look at this or that student as completely unpromising. Teachers openly use threats to transfer to another class, school, or get rid of after 9th grade. As a result, many adolescents from among the "unpromising" themselves prefer to "retire from school," finding interests somewhere on the side.

Without the teacher's deep confidence in the prospects of each teenager, in the fundamental possibility of the development of his personality, work with him cannot be successful!

Research shows that at any age, adolescents see the reasons for learning difficulties primarily in themselves (younger ones: “poor memory”, “poor attention”, “I can't think”; older ones: “laziness”, “lack of will”). The second most common cause of adolescents is the complexity of the curriculum, individual subjects. The elders point to this reason less often than the younger ones. The third reason adolescents consider is the lack of professionalism of teachers.

Teachers, on the other hand, believe that the teenagers themselves are to blame. Poor parental help is cited as a second reason. The third reason for teachers is the complexity of the program.

Finally, parents believe that the main reason is “unavailability of the program”, “high school requirements”.

The picture revealed on the basis of comparing the three positions is very unfavorable from the point of view of both the development of the personality of the adolescent and the development of the personality of the teacher. A combination of the “accusing” position of teachers and the “self-accusing” position of children acts as a brake on development, when all the difficulties of the process of assimilating knowledge are written off due to “laziness”, “irresponsibility” and “negligence” of schoolchildren.

Another important problem associated with the field of education of modern adolescents is the complete disregard for cognitive motivation. The current situation is characterized by a shift in emphasis from cognitive activity proper to individual, most formal elements of educational activity (academic performance, grades, etc.). The consequence of this is the underdevelopment of interest in the very process of cognition, which is extremely important for the productive development of the adolescent's personality.

Self-knowledge, self-realization, self-disclosure. An analysis of the content and dynamics of the experiences of adolescents during this age suggests that both younger and especially older adolescents are characterized by experiences that are somehow connected with their attitude to themselves, to their own personality. But here's what is remarkable. Almost all experiences related to the process of a teenager's self-knowledge turn out to benegative. The number of such experiences is growing with age. There is every reason to think that this is not just a certain age characteristic of the development of self-awareness, but the result of the adolescent assimilating the ideas and assessments that the surrounding adults, especially teachers and parents, have about him. Studies have shown that they almost do not see the positive traits, advantages of a teenager, they are well versed in his shortcomings. In psychology, however, it is shown how important it is for personal self-determination, for the development of personal self-identity, to rely on the positive aspects of one's “I”. It is very important to teach a teenager not only to see his own shortcomings - he also, as we have repeatedly noted, blames himself for everything - but alsounderstand, see, be able to rely on their merits, on the strengths of their personality, character.

However, there is an area of ​​feelings related to one's own personality, which are only positive in nature - this is an area of ​​experiences related to self-realization, with the active work of the adolescent himself to develop his own personality: "I am always happy if I can overcome my laziness." Such experiences reflect an extremely constructive line in the development of a person's personality - the process of self-realization. Unfortunately, adults not only do not usually help the development of this process, but do not think at all that adolescents have similar experiences, similar aspirations.

A powerful factor in self-development in older adolescence is the emergence of students' interest in what their personality will become in the future.

Senior adolescence and younger adolescence are sensitive periods for the formation of a time perspective, a system of human life goals.

If, for some reason, the time perspective of the future is not formed during this period or is formed incorrectly, then this will have the most serious consequences for the development of a person's personality.

At one time, L. Vygotsky drew attention to the fact that both adolescents and the adults around them are often preoccupied with the lack of will in students. However, according to L.S. Vygotsky, in such cases we often encounter not a weakness of will, but a weakness of goals, when a teenager has no reason to overcome all sorts of obstacles. The emergence of a meaningful goal also solves the problem of will. Practice shows that if a teenager has any important life purpose, then many problems of upbringing are removed.

Puberty and psychosexual identity ... “The most basic of all the features of transitional age,” wrote Vygotsky, “consists in the mismatch of three points of maturation: puberty begins and ends before the end of the adolescent's general organic development, and before the adolescent reaches the final stage of his social cultural formation. A teenager who has matured sexually to such an extent that any difference between an adult and a youthful organism from this side is completely destroyed, is still at this time a creature that has not yet come close to the completion of two other development processes: general organic and social. "

Nobody deals with the problems associated with what psychology calls "psychological sex", "psychosexual identity" in the modern school. The statement that our pedagogy is sexless, that modern educational and educational processes are absolutely the same for girls and boys, has become a commonplace, which is fraught with various negative consequences. All this leads to the fact that the problems of the formation of psychosexual identity are exacerbated in older adolescence, when adolescents develop a clear orientation towards the future, and the motives of the time perspective begin to play a noticeable role.

Crisis 13 years and post-crisis period. Traditionally, the difficulties of adolescence are usually associated with the so-called "crisis of 13 years", when the breaking of old psychological structures leads to an explosion of disobedience, rudeness, and difficulty in educating the child. Many psychologists see the main reason for such violent behavioral manifestations in the fact that adults do not rebuild their behavior in response to the adolescent's “feeling of adulthood,” his desire for new forms of relationships with parents and teachers. Other authors consider the crisis of 13 years as a direct reflection of the process of puberty, considering it little connected with the peculiarities of upbringing. Finally, still others believe that this crisis is far from necessary at all, that many adolescents simply do not have it.

However, the essence of the crisis, according to L.S. Vygotsky, not so much in its pronounced manifestations as in a deep, qualitative change in the process of mental development. Studies show that at the age of 12.5-13 years, there is a sharp change in the entire system of adolescents' experiences - both their structure and content.

But it is interesting that parents and teachers subjectively associate the difficulties of upbringing not with the crisis as such, when it beginsdecay, breaking former psychological formations, and withpost-crisis the period falling on the age of 14-15 years (8-9 grade). That is, the period is difficult for the adults around the adolescent.creation, formation of new psychological formations. Transferring the previous educational measures to this age turns out to be extremely ineffective, and new teachers and parents do not own. First of all, parents and teachers do not know how to rely onpositive, constructive, which is in every teenager, but they only try to "fight the shortcomings." This is especially noticeable in older adolescence, immediately following the famous, but, as we see, not such a dangerous crisis.

CONCLUSION

Summing up this robot, we can say the following: chronologically adolescence is determined from 10-11 to 14-15 years.

The main feature of this age is abrupt, qualitative changes affecting all aspects of development. The process of anatomical and physiological restructuring is the background against which the psychological crisis proceeds. The activation and complex interaction of growth hormones and sex hormones cause intense physical and physiological development. The height and weight of the child increases, and in boys, on average, the peak of the "growth spurt" falls on 13 years old, and ends after 15 years, sometimes continuing until 17. In girls, the "growth spurt" usually begins and ends two years earlier (further, more slow growth may continue for several more years).
Changes in height and weight are accompanied by changes in body proportions. First, the head, hands and feet grow to "adult" sizes, then the limbs - arms and legs - and last of all the body. The intensive growth of the skeleton, reaching 4-7 cm per year, outstrips the development of the muscles. All this leads to some disproportionate body, adolescent angularity. Children often feel awkward and awkward at this time. Due to the rapid development, difficulties arise in the functioning of the heart, lungs, blood supply to the brain. Therefore, adolescents are characterized by changes in blood pressure, increased fatigue, mood swings; hormonal storm - imbalance.

The social developmental situation represents the transition from dependent childhood to independent and responsible adulthood. The teenager occupies an intermediate position between childhood and adulthood. The leading activity of a teenager is communication with peers. The main trend is the reorientation of communication from parents and teachers to peers.

1) Communication is a very important information channel for teenagers;

2) Communication is a specific type of interpersonal relationship, it forms in a teenager the skills of social interaction, the ability to obey and at the same time to defend their rights .;

3) Communication is a specific type of emotional contact. Gives a sense of solidarity, emotional well-being, self-esteem.

Psychologists believe that communication includes 2 conflicting needs: the need to belong to a group and to be isolated (his own inner world appears, the teenager feels the need to be alone with himself). A teenager, considering himself a unique person, at the same time seeks to look no different from his peers. Typical features of teenage groups areCONFORMITY - a person's tendency to assimilate certain group norms, habits and values, imitation ... The desire to merge with the group, not to stand out in anything, meeting the need for security, psychologists consider as a mechanism of psychological defense and call it social mimicry.

Qualitative changes are taking place in the intellectual sphere: theoretical and reflective thinking continues to develop. At this age, a male and female view of the world appears. Creative abilities begin to develop actively. Changes in the intellectual sphere lead to an increase in the ability to independently cope with the school curriculum. At the same time, many adolescents experience learning difficulties. For many, study fades into the background.

The central neoplasm of adolescence is"Sense of maturity" - the adolescent's attitude towards himself as an adult ... This is expressed in the desire for everyone - both adults and peers - to treat him not as a little, but as an adult. He claims to be equal in relations with elders and goes to conflicts, defending his "adult" position. A sense of adulthood is also manifested in the desire for independence, the desire to protect some aspects of one's life from parental interference. This applies to questions of appearance, relationships with peers, maybe - study. The sense of adulthood is associated with the ethical norms of behavior that are learned by children at this time. A moral "code" appears that prescribes a clear style of behavior for adolescents in friendly relations with peers. The development of self-awareness (the formation of "I-concept" system of internally coordinated ideas about oneself, images of "I."
Increased excitability, frequent mood swings, imbalance.
A noticeable development of volitional qualities. The need for self-affirmation, for activity, which has a personal meaning. Personality orientation:

Humanistic orientation - the adolescent's attitude to himself and to society is positive;

Selfish orientation - he himself is more significant than society;

Depressive orientation - he himself does not represent any value for himself. His attitude towards society can be called conditionally positive;

Suicidal orientation - neither society, nor the individual for himself is of no value.

Thus, adolescence is spoken of as a period of heightened emotionality. This manifests itself in excitability, frequent mood swings, and imbalance. The character of many adolescents becomes ACCENTUATED - an extreme version of the norm. In adolescents, a lot depends on the type of character accentuation - the features of transient behavioral disorders ("pubertal crises"), acute affective reactions and neuroses (both in their relation to the picture and in relation to the causes that cause them). The type of character accentuation must be considered when developing rehabilitation programs for adolescents. This type serves as one of the main guidelines for medical and psychological recommendations, for advice on the future profession and employment, which is very important for sustainable social adaptation.

The type of accentuation indicates weaknesses in the character and thereby allows one to predict factors that can cause psychogenic reactions leading to maladjustment - thereby opening up prospects for psychoprophylaxis. Typically, accentuations develop during the formation of the character and smoothed out with growing up. Character features with accentuations may not appear constantly, but only in some situations, in a certain setting, and almost not be found in normal conditions. Social maladjustment with accentuations is either completely absent, or it is short-lived.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Bayard R., Bayard D. Your Troubled Teenager. M., 1991 .-- 223 p.

Bozhovich L.I. Stages of personality formation in ontogenesis // Problems of personality formation: Izbr. psychological works / Ed. DI. Feldstein. M .; Voronezh, 1995 .-- 345 p.

Age and individual characteristics of younger adolescents / Ed. D.B. Elkonina and T.V. Dragunova. M., 1967 .-- 325 p.

Vygotsky A.S. Pedology of a teenager // Sobr. cit .: In 6 volumes.Vol. 4 - 462 p.

In the world of a teenager / Ed. A.A. Bodaleva. - M., 1982.

Dragunova T.V. The problem of conflict in adolescence // Questions of psychology. - 1972. - No. 2.

Dragunova T.V. Teenager. - M., 1976.

Krakovsky A.P. About teenagers. - M., 1970.

Craig G., Bokum D. Developmental psychology. - 9th ed. - SPb .: Peter, 2005 .-- 940 s: ill. - (Series "Masters of Psychology").

Lichko A.E. Adolescent psychiatry. M., 1985 .-- 258 p.

Lichko A.E. Types of character accentuations and psychopathies in adolescents. M., 1999 .-- 235 p.

Our problem teenager / Ed. L.A. Regusha. SPb., 1998 .-- 248 p.

Psychology of the modern adolescent / Ed. DI. Feldstein. M., 1987 .-- 326 p.

Remschmidt X. Adolescence and adolescence: Problems of personality formation. M., 1994 .-- 342 p.

Rousseau J.J. Pedagogical works: In 2 volumes. M., 1981. T. 1. - 498 p.

Reader on developmental psychology. Textbook for students: Comp. L. M. Semenyuk. Ed. D. I. Feldshtein - 2nd edition, supplemented. Moscow: Institute of Practical Psychology, 1996, 304 p.

Tsukerman G.L., Masters B.M. Self-development psychology. M., 1995 .-- 267 p.

Shapovalenko I.V. Developmental psychology (Developmental psychology and developmental psychology). - M .: Gardariki, 2005 .-- 349 p.

El'konin D.B. Selected psychological works. M., 1989 .-- 433 p.

Teenage and communication difficulties are almost synonymous.... Difficult, transitional, crisis age is all about adolescence, when a child aged 12-16 falls into an absolutely indefinite state, because childhood has already ended, as it were, but real adult life has not yet begun.

More recently, an affectionate, understanding and obedient child turns into a harsh and aggressive teenager who ignores the requests of his parents and demonstratively does everything as he sees fit. What happens to the child and how to help him go through this important stage of life?

Physiological changes

When a child turns 12-14 years old, it is difficult not to notice that during this period he begins to grow actively ... So, some children grow 3-7 cm in a year, which is a rather difficult test for the whole organism. Tubular bones grow most actively, the chest, arms and legs are formed, the teenager becomes disproportionate, coordination of movements may be impaired.

In addition to the growth of the skeleton itself, they rebuild their work and internal organs : the activity of the pituitary gland changes, the growth rate of the muscular system increases, the metabolism is accelerated. Also, the sex and thyroid glands begin to work more actively, the heart grows, the volume of the lungs increases.

Maximum sex hormones are active , due to which the secondary sexual characteristics of adolescents increase: girls have breast enlargement, menstruation appears, boys have a mutated voice, an Adam's apple appears, hair grows on the face and body, and emissions occur. Hormones provoke the first - completely new sensations for the child, as well as difficulties with self-control and the adequacy of the perception of their actions.

As a result of all these cardinal physiological changes, a teenager may experience health problems ... Frequent headaches, increased fatigue, unstable blood pressure, decreased alertness and lack of concentration are just a general list of possible complaints that parents should definitely pay attention to.

: “By the number of hormonal and physiological changes, adolescence can be compared, do not be surprised, with pregnancy. The child's body changes as dramatically as the body of a woman who is preparing to become a mother, only during pregnancy this process is more compressed in terms of time. Agree, such physiological changes cannot occur without a trace for the child's psyche, because everything is interconnected. The growth of the heart, lungs and blood vessel system occurs in jerks, and as a result - insufficient saturation of the child's brain with oxygen. What does this lead to? Attention decreases, difficulties arise with working on several objects, for example, successfully solving a problem and simultaneously chatting with a neighbor on a desk becomes much more problematic. The child feels tired, does not want to go to school, study, make any efforts to acquire new knowledge. During such a period, parents need to understand the child's condition, maintain his health and try to alleviate the symptoms that have arisen as much as possible. "

Psychological changes

Of course, all the physiological changes we have outlined above unambiguously affect the psychological state of a teenager. A lot of things arise before the child new challenges and challenges that he has to face, he tries to start living and communicating in a new way, like an adult, but so far he does not always do it successfully.

Because of external body changes , to which the child is still, he may have ambivalence : mixing feelings of pride and disgust, shame and joy, rejection and admiration. Teens can either become unnecessarily sloppy, protesting against their new body, or, conversely, pay much more attention to themselves, furiously examining each new pimple in the mirror.

Also during this period, a teenager is observed. He begins to more and more actively compare himself with other boys and girls, often paying attention to his own weak sides , feels insecure in their own abilities. Adolescent behavior in the company of peers contradictory:

• on the one hand, he strives at all costs be like everyone else , on the other - he really wants stand out and excel at any cost, and not always on the positive side;
• on the one hand, the child seeks to deserve respect and authority of comrades , with another - flaunts his own shortcomings .

Also during adolescence, a child often has problems at school : due to a decrease in the level of attention and concentration, academic performance deteriorates, moreover, the teenager is already requires a certain degree of independence and independence , therefore, in response to the teacher's comments, he answers sharply, demonstratively and cynically. In adolescence, a child doubts everything, does not trust someone else's experience, he needs to personally make sure how the hypotheses correspond to the truth, the authority of the teacher no longer means anything to him.

Our mom- Manana tells : “Daughters are 15, and now lessons are nothing for her. Previously, she studied well, but now, to all my lectures about school, she says: “Mom, why do I need this? Nobody gets good grades in our class, it's not fashionable! Nobody communicates with nerds! " And what is there to answer? How to motivate? I'm starting to talk about admission to a university, all sorts of EIS, etc ... Snorts, like some nonsense ... Recently I found an article on the Internet that a new trend has begun, where nerds are sexy, that smart people are entering the trend again. I printed it out for her and brought it to her to read. I don't know how to motivate anymore ... When will this trend reach us? "

School and learning is not in the first place now a teenager has an interest in other people, relationships with friends and the opposite sex overpowers the importance and necessity of acquiring new knowledge. A teenager is completely at the mercy of various emotional experiences, acutely perceives criticism from friends, a breakup with a loved one, a remark made in passing by a parent or a teacher can become a tragedy.

Despite the importance of the aspect of communication, in a teenager's dialogues with friends, and especially with the opposite sex, there can be a swagger and deliberate rudeness. In addition to the fact that this is considered "cool" in adolescents, because cultural behavior, in their opinion, is the lot of weaklings, such a reaction can be explained by the emotional confusion of the child. He is still does not know how to communicate correctly and is just learning to build relationships. Parents should help their teenagers learn this important skill.

Psychologist Natalya Karabuta tells : “If a teenager comes to parents for advice, it is very important to take such a conversation seriously, not to dismiss it, doing important adult affairs. Of course, it is much easier to say “yes, I am at your age”, “you are still too young to think about this,” but such an approach will in no way solve the child's problem. And if his parents do not want to help him, he will go for understanding and acceptance to his friends, and you will no longer be able to control how and what will happen there. Yes, a child can move out to study, but parents should accept the fact that in adolescence they usually go to school not to gain knowledge, but for the sake of communicating with peers. And if a child turned to you with problems like “if a friend suddenly turned up” or “but he doesn't love me,” you should not be shocked and send him to learn algebra or do his homework in English. Sit down, have a heart-to-heart talk with your child, give some good advice, tell a similar incident from your life, because each of us had something similar. Don't treat your teenager like an unintelligent child. Imagine that your friend came to consult you. Will you listen to him? During adolescence, it is very important for a parent to remain a person with whom the child can talk, who will understand, help and not judge, especially if the child has serious problems such as an unplanned pregnancy or problems with the law. ”