What is narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder?

Narcissism or a narcissistic personality disorder is a psychological state in which a person has an overestimated self-esteem. In other words, it is a pathological love for himself, expressing in constant audit and attention to his own person. Such people are hard to socialize, because they do not like to communicate and be friends with them. And even relatives Narcissa is sometimes not easy. How to recognize daffissal among your friends? Is it possible to help him somehow, and is it worth doing this? And how not to become Narcissa himself?

Etymology of the term

Most people under the word "Narcissus" imply a flower with snow-white petals and a yellowish middle. But the same term is called a narcissistic person. There is a legend that explains the origin of this word. In Greek mythology there was a young man named Narcissus. One day a nymph fell in love by the name of Echo, but the guy was too proud to take the cleaner and sincere love of beauties. Then Nemesis, the Goddess of Retribution, decided to punish him and observed to fall in love with his own reflection. And when the young man leaned toward the pond and saw himself in him, he could no longer get away from this place. On the bank of the pond, he died from suffering and hunger. Later, a flower grew up in this place, which was called daffodil.

By the way! A narcissus color slightly tilted downwards, which symbolizes the head of the young man, inclined to his reflection in the pond.

Now it is more understandable who are such daffodies. But today this concept is more blurry. Under it is understood not so much sensual self-love, how much ambitious. A person is more than confident in his superiority. And he sincerely wonders if someone loses to someone. This can cause serious psychological disorders, so with narcissism urge to fight.

How to recognize Narcissa

We highlight the general and most common signs of narcissism, which at different times were formulated by various psychologists on the basis of data on the observation of such personalities.

Excessive feeling of own significance.
Lack of reaction to criticism.
Direct mockery on those who, according to Narcissa himself, does not correspond to the parameters of the perfection.
The requirement to yourself of increased admiration and sincere surprise, if this does not happen.
Passionate desire to become the most (rich, beautiful, powerful, etc.).
Conviction in uniqueness.
No feeling of compassion to neighbor. Perhaps it is present, but quickly breaks down by a spontaneously emerging desire to admire themselves.
Confidence in envy surrounding to yourself.
A bright demonstration of imaginary "achievements", which are actually faithful or just banalities (I am the highest, I have the most beautiful mole on the cheek, etc.).
Invalid behavior.
Angry piercing over others; There are no discourability (so-called, negative narcissism).
Mercantile interests.
Fear or anger when trying to surround it in something.
Masking of their negative features and sides.
Focus on the disadvantages of others, riding them in their favor.

It is necessary to understand that narcissists do nothing tight. If they admire themselves, it means they really get pleasure from it. There are no games for the public. Everything is done only for self-satisfaction. Therefore, offended by daffodils is stupid and useless. They still will not understand the reason for your perplexity. Therefore, they must be either taken, or not at all communicate.

Women

It is believed that it is women who love to engage in self-examination. But such is the female nature: a man loves his eyes, so girls wish to look perfect, stunningly. Therefore, if a woman often looks in the mirror or corrects the hairstyle, it does not mean that you are a narcissistic person. Psychological disorder manifests itself somewhat differently.

While the girl is young, in her behavior it is difficult to notice the manifestation of narcissism. She dresses well, watches himself and looks great. And some arrogance in her communication even attracts men. By the way, a partner female Narcissus chooses a caring and gentle. This that will admire her. But she may not pay attention to his character, so her man will depend on the opinions of others. Ammbitious and decisive it is simply not needed, because the main violin in family relationships will play.

The problems of a Narcissa woman begin when a child appears. It is its beginning, its continuation and its reflection, so it should also be perfect. Son or daughter has to be disadvantaged: Mother Narcissus will constantly expect something more from a child. Often, women seek to see in their children what they have not achieved themselves, so the child becomes a victim of circumstances (the so-called, narcissistic expansion). At the same time, the mother herself also suffers, but can not do anything with him.

Men

Narcissism in men, on the contrary, is more noticeable at a young age. The guy is active enough, a cheerful company is constantly spinning around him, but there are no close friends among them. Young Narcissus pays a lot of time. Modern society can even decide that the boy has a non-traditional orientation: so Zheno and carefully he cares for himself. With girls, there may also be problems, although the relationship with Narcissal is initially very interesting and fascinating in their own way. But the young Narcissus sooner or later considers that he is worthy of more, so every beauty and clever will be rejected as the nymph echo.

If a man-Narcissus still starts his family, he still continues to assert themselves. A loving woman takes her husband with all its flaws, but the child may suffer. Father and signs of narcissism cannot give him proper upbringing and banal attention. A man will be constantly passionate about his ambitions. The problem is that with each next victory, Narcissus gets less satisfaction. As a result, approximately 35-40 years old, he understands that there is no longer a pleasure from self-examination. And look for happiness elsewhere (family, career) too late. Therefore, the patients of psychologists often become men at the turn of the forty-thousands.

If in a pair?

Such families are not uncommon. Two people converge in one common interest: love love. Those. In a pair, every partner is looked at himself, but the second person is not against it. People-daffodils support each other, and a family is built on this mutual understanding. And one does not have a question, how to live with a daffodil, because he himself is.

But the children of such a couple have to fall out. They are also forced to adapt to the wishes of mom and dad, embodying what they could have achieved. Although, sometimes parents throw their love on a small family member, but Narcissus also grows out of it too much.

Sexology

There is a kind of sexual deviation (deviations) when a person is experiencing sexual attraction to itself. Otherwise, this is called autofilia or autoeroticism. And it is the narcissistic behavior that sets the basis of such a disorder. At first, the person just admires himself in the mirror or gets moral pleasure from the thought that it is ideal. Then it begins to manifest itself in physical self-satisfaction in the process of which, Narcissus does not fantasize, but enjoys self-excellent.

What Freud said

Speaking of sex, it is impossible not to affect Sigmund Freud. In his descriptions, he argued that Narcissus grow more often in single mothers, who were given all their love to the only man - their son. The famous psychologist believed that sooner or later the casual boy put himself at the mother's place, personify himself with her. This gave birth to problems with his own "I", on whose the topic Freud wrote a lot. Such a young man could easily become not only a daffodil, but also a homosexual, because female traits prevailed in it.

The term "narcissism" himself appeared in psychoanalysis in 1914. Although long before that, Freud introduced many other concomitant concepts. One of them is a narcissistic libido (or me-libido). This is when the activation energy is projected with others around himself. Freud believed that this was a severe mental violation, requiring treatment. But he did not denote that such people can live in society.

How to build communication

Those, surrounded by some close people with a narcissistic type of personality, probably snorted, seeing this question. But Narcissus is not a bad person who needs to be bypass. He does not want anyone evil, and his behavior is due to a mental disorder. And if there are people with signs of narcissism among friends at work or among friends, then the volley-noils have to find contact with them and build communication.

Narcissum is inherent in such a feature as depreciation of other people's advantages. He will look for in you flaws and inconsistencies in order to feel the most-most. Therefore, your task is to disclose yourself completely, without leaving Narcissus a reason to doubt you. Of course, he will not cease to think that it is he who is unique and unsurpassed, but respect for you will still appear.

In psychology there is such a technique that allows man to be located. In the case of a daffodil, it is necessary to cut off its porch. For example, he enthusiastically tells you about nanotechnology, in which you do not understand absolutely. Narcissus enjoys the fact that it is better oriented in this field of science. What to do? Relieve the ball by lifting this topic in which he does not understand. 95% of a hundred, that Narcissus will give you his crown or at least, will remove its own.

Narcissus is a person who has and positive traits of character. He can be kind, cute, responsive and just meaningful to you. Therefore, if this is a close person who is dear to you, do not try to change it, but just accept what it is.

If you met a malignant daffodil, which is aggressive and tries to manipulate you, then it is not necessary to find a common language with him or support friendship. Each person has the right to choose a circle of his communication, so if you are completely uncomfortable with someone, you do not need to suffer. The so-called destructive narcissism, when all actions of a narcissistic person are aimed at the destruction of everything around, occurs infrequently. But it is very difficult to communicate with such a narcissus. If you have forced contact (for work, for example), you can use ignoring. Just do not pay attention to his antics, and concentrate on affairs.

I am Narcissus. What to do

Narcissa rarely try to sort out themselves. They simply do not understand and do not experience any uncomfortable symptoms. It seems to them that their behavior is normal and quite adequate. But if a person is tormented by deficient narcissism, he can feel a strong dependence on the opinions of others. This is a special kind of mental disorder, when Narcissus is not satisfied with admiration from himself. He needs the rest to admire them. And if this does not happen, problems begin.

A person who is experiencing deficient narcissism syndrome is recommended to refer to an experienced practice psychologist. Yesterday's university graduate does not help him. Need a professional who has been working for many years. You can visit a psychologist both alone and with your loved ones.