If a child is afraid of the dark: reasons for fear, advice from a psychologist and parents. The child is afraid of the dark: the main reasons, advice from psychologists Why the child is afraid of the dark

Many children are afraid of the dark. According to statistics, phobia develops in 89% of the child population aged 3 to 10 years. The fear of the dark in children is embedded on a subconscious level and is caused by the instinct of self-preservation. It can also manifest itself in adulthood. Ancient people associated safety with light, and in the dark people saw a direct threat to life. It is necessary to help the baby cope with fear, otherwise in the future the phobia can lead to serious mental disorders.

Sources of

If your child is afraid of the dark, first you need to figure out what triggered the fear. Common causes of fright between the ages of one and 8 years include:

• influence of adults;
• imagination;
• negative experience;
• genetics.

According to psychotherapists, newborn babies are not afraid of the dark. Over time, the baby gets used to the light, begins to distinguish contours, outlines and objects. As a result, when the light turns off, his consciousness cannot correlate the light room with the dark one; it seems to him that this is a completely different place, not familiar to him. Another reason is the fear of dead space, that is, one that cannot be examined. So, the area above the closet or other tall piece of furniture is inaccessible to the child's eyes, so the subconscious mind identifies it as a potential danger.

Influence of adults

It is important to understand that any word of an adult is perceived by a kid at face value. Many parents do not understand why the child has become afraid of the dark. Watching any TV shows, movies about murders, news does not contribute to normal falling asleep. Even if the baby is busy with his own business, he still perceives words about incidents by ear, and consciousness, like a sponge, absorbs this information and converts it into a phobic disorder.

This also includes conflict situations between family members. When a child sees parents quarreling, he begins to feel unnecessary and sometimes guilty for what is happening. If you do not explain to the baby in time that there is no reason for concern and does not correct his behavior, he may develop a fear of the dark.

Some parents punish their children by locking them in dark rooms. Such actions have a detrimental effect on the child's psyche and lead to the appearance of pathological fear.

Do not frighten children with stories about unreal creatures (evil fairy-tale characters) who come at night. This applies not only to parents, but also to kindergarten teachers. Cartoons should be carefully selected for viewing. Many cartoon characters look ferocious, mischievous, and mischievous. More than one parent is faced with a situation when after watching the cartoon "Masha and the Bear", "Polly Robocar" children begin to behave aggressively, hysteria for no reason. Many cartoons excite the child's psyche. He cannot fall asleep, because before going to bed, the last thing that the baby's body remembers is rage, resentment. These emotions in the subconscious are transformed into a kind of monster that comes in a dream.

Imagination

From the point of view of psychology, the phobia of the dark space in children develops through rich imagination. Each kid lives in his own fictional world, where all objects can come to life. Every rustle in the dark seems frightening, the baby listens and observes all the time, peering into the darkness. Poor sleep provokes mental disorder, children become uncontrollable, capricious, whiny, and often start to get sick.

Causes depending on age

Overcoming the fear of the dark in a child is not so easy, the causes of phobia for each age category will be different. Psychologists have compiled a classification of provoking factors for different age groups.

1. 3-4 years old - the baby goes to kindergarten. He learns the world, begins to be aware of himself in society, meets new people. Adults most often do not try to delve into his problems, do not explain how to avoid conflicts and behave correctly. During this period, most parents transfer the baby to a separate room at home, and he begins to feel abandoned, unnecessary.
2. 5-6 years old - children are afraid of the unknown. In a dark room, it is impossible to determine the outlines of objects, and a violent imagination draws various pictures in the subconscious.
3. 7-8 years - entering school, increasing brain load. The child has new responsibilities. Social fears are of great importance (fear of being late for classes, losing their parents, facing death). At 7 years old, the fear of the dark room returns or appears for the first time. According to statistics, by the age of 8, it completely disappears, if not aggravated by other stressors.
4. 9-10 years old - children start watching horror films, chatting on social networks. This age is the most dangerous, because children try to show each other how fearless they are. This is often used by criminals. A striking example of such a game on the peculiarities of the child's psyche is the Blue Whale group, which provokes children to commit suicide.

Genetics

One of the reasons for the appearance of various phobic disorders is a genetic predisposition. Scientists have long proven the link between gene mutation and fear. Many fears are fixed. If a pregnant woman finds herself in an unpleasant situation in the dark (a robber attacked, fell) and gets very frightened, the baby's nervous system encodes darkness as a source of danger.

If parents in childhood had problems with the perception of the mirror and darkness, then it is possible that their baby will also be afraid. There is nothing wrong with that, try to overcome fear together, tell us how you coped with it yourself.

Symptoms

Many babies are afraid to fall asleep in the dark. It is important to be able to distinguish between normal fear and phobia. If the baby feels normal when the night light is on, does not get tantrums when the parents leave his room, and his health is normal - there is no reason for concern, the fear will soon pass by itself, just do not try to cure the child with darkness from fear, forcing him to suppress him.

In the presence of a phobic disorder, the following symptoms are observed:

• tremor of the chin or fingers;
• fear of being alone in a room;
• fear of walking down the street when it gets dark;
• panic at the sight of a dark room, an unknown place;
• tachycardia;
• dyspnea;
• hysterics;
• decrease in the body's resistance to viruses;
• speech disorders, delayed psychomotor development.

Treatment methods

If children are afraid to sleep in the dark, you should not ignore the problem, but you should not focus too much on it either. The first step is to talk to the baby and try to find out what he is so afraid of. Try to replace watching cartoons before bedtime with a good fairy tale or a long walk in the fresh air. Do not forget that violent emotions provoke the appearance of difficult dreams. Don't feed your baby right before bed. It is best to do this an hour before.

Taking soothing baths promotes sound sleep. You can add your baby's favorite sweet-smelling foam, sea salt or soothing aromatic oil (tea tree, lavender, mint) to the bath.

Fear correction

If the child is afraid of the dark, psychologists advise to do the correction of perception. In fact, any phobia develops due to a perverse, wrong attitude towards reality. Discoloration of fears helps to understand that there is nothing so terrible in the dark. Go around all the rooms with your child, look into every corner, onto the balcony, into the closet, under the bed. In the room, turn on the night light in advance, and not right before bed. It is not recommended to turn off the light during children's sleep, otherwise, waking up in the dark, the baby may fall into a state of panic.

Play hide and seek. This will help you get to know your apartment better and stop being afraid. Hide toys in different rooms. Challenge your child to find as many toys as possible, encouraging finding in a dark room more than in a bright room. You can play together or with a whole group of children: when guests come to you. Hide and seek can be adapted in the following way for the method of getting rid of the fear of the dark. Let's call this game "Hunter". The child will be the beast they are looking for. He needs to hide in a burrow so that the hunter cannot reach it. Since the mink is dark, you should build it from a chair covered with a tablecloth or a table. The point of the game is for the animal to sit in the burrow for as long as possible, while the hunter darts around the room, and then hides in another place.

Such techniques help to make sure that the child is not afraid of the dark before the age of 5 years. With older children, it is better to go first for a consultation with a psychologist.

Psychocorrectional work with older children

Fear of the dark in children can appear at the age of 7, 8, 9 and 10 years. There was no such problem before. This symptom is a serious reason for visiting a specialist, especially if the child says: "I'm afraid of mirrors." And he doesn't want to approach them. 7 years of age for a child is another turning point when he learns to perceive himself as an adult who has his own characteristics, feelings and opinions.

Fear in front of mirrors is most often provoked by self-doubt, dissatisfaction with one's appearance or mythical speculation. A psychologist will help teach a child not to be afraid at this age. Sometimes it is advisable to use medication. Usually, mild sedatives and vitamins are sufficient to reduce brain overload and relieve unpleasant symptoms.

Psychologist's tips to help your child overcome the fear of the dark:

• find out the reason;
• work with your child to correct the fear;
• review your behavior in the family circle, find out how the child is doing with communication at school;
• increase physical activity by writing to additional sections;
• find an activity for your child, in which he can reflect his fears: drawing, modeling, applications;
• for schoolchildren, an excellent prevention is a graphic test: in an essay, a child must describe his fear, then you should sort out with him what he is afraid of and convey to him that a monster is nothing more than words.

Final part

If a child has fear, do not ignore the fear. Nymphobia can develop into schizophrenia. The first step is to understand the causes of fear. Depending on the degree of its manifestation, you can correct the behavior on your own or use the help of a psychiatrist, neurologist.

The fear of sleeping alone is one of the most common. The reasons can be different: the child's habit of sleeping with his parents, overexcitation of his nervous system, long-standing fear, fear of losing a parent, sudden changes in life, family conflicts, personal experiences. How to be in a similar situation?

Why is the child afraid

Fear and anxiety are natural emotional reactions. As your little one grows up, they develop new fears. What are the most popular causes of a fear of sleeping separately?

1. Fear of life changes... For small children, this can be a new crib, moving to a nursery, waiting for guests or a long trip. For older children - the excitement before entering school, before the exam, leaving the parental home. Again, any painful condition can trigger the fear of falling asleep.
2. Fear of fairy-tale and child-invented characters... A fairy tale teaches a lot, but at times it becomes a cause for fear. Do not frighten the child with Barmaley and Baba Yaga. Children are really afraid of them, and quiet rustles or moving curtains are mistaken for the appearance of monsters.
3. Overexcitation... It's not for nothing that grandmothers say "don't walk your child before bedtime." Too much activity an hour before bed can turn into a sleepless night for the whole family.

Regardless of why the baby is afraid to sleep alone, in most cases it is in the power of the parents to make the child's sleep stronger, and the nights calmer.

Expert I am a Parent, child psychologist Nikolai Lukin tells about the reasons for children's fears.

1. Give your child more attention during the day.

A child who receives enough attention and body contact during the day feels calmer at night. He does not have to wait for bed to receive parental love once in sight. Fear of falling asleep for parents is a signal to spend more time with the baby: play, walk, develop his talents.

2. Choose a laying ritual

About an hour before bedtime, you need to finish all active and outdoor games. Nightly rituals will help the child integrate into the regime. If at exactly eight in the evening he goes to the shower, drinks a cup of kefir, then brushes his teeth, listens to a fairy tale, kisses his mother, wishes her “good night”, then turning off the light and leaving his mother to the kitchen will be perceived as an excuse to turn on the barrel and close his eyes ... When there is no time left for long rituals, you can shorten them, for example, to dressing in pajamas, covering them with a blanket and whispering gently in your ear.

3. Turn on the night light

Do not sharply teach children to sleep in the dark. If the baby is afraid to sleep with the lights off and there is no night light, turn on the lights in the corridor or adjacent rooms. Children gradually get used to darkness.

4. Get a thing that symbolizes safety

Sleep is always safer with your favorite toy or even with your mother's sweater. And if you whisper magic words to the toy, it will become the most important "keeper of a calm sleep" for a long time. Magic words can be thought up and pronounced together, or they can be kept secret to add to the ritual of laying down the magic that children love so much.

5. Talk in the next room

Little panties are calmer when they hear mom's voice. If you leave the nursery door ajar and talk calmly, the child will fall asleep faster. Loudly sorting out the relationship when the baby hears you, of course, is not worth it, but it is also not necessary to quiet down the whole house. Silence scares children, it is very easy to discover new fears in it.

An aquarium or bird cage has the same effect: at night, the child hears the same sounds as during the day, and calms down.

6. Pay attention to the interior of the nursery

Each person has his own bed: this must be explained to the child before moving him to a separate room. The crib “grows” with the child. And, if earlier she could stand in the parental bedroom, now she "lives" in the baby's personal room.

In the nursery, everything should be different from the adults' room. Favorite fairy-tale characters, delicate and bright colors, toys, soft carpeting create coziness and a desire to be in the room more often. The child will fall asleep more calmly in his "own" space.

Children are often intimidated by the emptiness under the bed. Better to put boxes of toys there.

When a child is afraid to fall asleep, he resorts to his mother. First you need to hug him, calm him down, and then gently but persistently take him to his bed. It is important to let him know that you are there, you can hear everything, and at any time you will come to the rescue.

Repeat the shortest possible laying ritual.

The fear of the dark is one of the most common childhood fears. Almost all children go through this, and most of them eventually outgrow this problem. But while the baby is afraid to be alone in a dark room and does not let his mother get out of bed, all parents want to help him cope with his fear. How can this be done? First, you need to understand what and why the baby is afraid? It is clear that the reason for the fear is the violent fantasy of the child, which allows him to see a monster in every corner. But it is necessary to understand what gives food for such fantasies. It is also important to figure out what parents need to do and what should not be done in such a situation.

Why is the child afraid?

The fear of the dark is familiar to almost all children. Most often this is due to the inability to fully use all of your senses. If the child cannot see what is happening around him, then fantasy turns on, which "draws" the missing details. It should be borne in mind that in the dark, the child instinctively listens and can distinguish even those sounds that he would not have paid attention to in another state.

Now we need to remember about human instincts. Primitive people were quite rightly afraid of the dark, as a dangerous predator could be hiding there. This fear helped to avoid danger, so it is not surprising that it was those children who were afraid to go into dark places that survived more often. Much time has passed since then, but the primal fear of the dark remains.

This is how the fear of the dark develops: primitive instincts plus a lack of visual information, plus a child's violent imagination. Not seeing the surrounding objects in the dark, the child begins to invent a "babayka" waiting for him in the corner, Babu Yaga from fairy tales and other frightening characters.

Quite often, the fear of the dark arises due to stresses that are in no way connected with darkness, but the child cannot cope with them or talk about them.

Separately, it is worth mentioning the peculiarity of child psychology, which allows them to inhabit monsters only in a space that is well known to them. This means that most often children are afraid in their own home and in their bedroom, but on a dark street they may not feel any discomfort.

What shouldn't parents do?

If the child admits that he is afraid of the dark, the parents need to respond to this correctly. Therefore, first of all, we will consider what not to do. You should not try to explain to the child that his fear is illogical and there is nothing to be afraid of in the room. The fear of the dark is so bad that it is irrational, only in rare cases can a child say that he is afraid of a specific object or sound. Much more often the child is afraid of exactly what he cannot see and it is useless to explain that there is nothing wrong in the room. It is invisible, which means that you simply do not know what it is. If in such a situation you persist and insist on your own, the child will think that you do not believe him and do not understand him, and will simply withdraw into himself.

You can't play along with the child and pretend that monsters exist. You cannot offer him a variety of devices to scare away monsters, since the child can only believe in them more strongly and wait for their arrival. The imagination of children is very developed, so they can easily confuse reality with fiction and then it will be very difficult to return the normal line between reality and fiction.

If a child tells terrible dreams, you can come up with a sequel with him, where all the bad heroes will be defeated. This will give confidence before going to bed and make the child more courageous.

You should never make fun of a child for him. In this way, only one thing can be achieved: the child will close in himself, and self-doubt and distrust of his parents will be added to the fears. Remember, overcoming fear requires faith in yourself and the support of loved ones, and making fun of a child, you deprive him of both. The child is not to blame for the fact that the darkness seems terrible to him, and in such a difficult situation he needs the support of his parents more than ever.

Getting rid of the "babayka"

Many generations of parents find it normal to bully a child for educational purposes. For example, you will not obey, eat, go to bed, etc. - "Babayka" will come and take it. This seems to parents to be a completely harmless threat, because there are no "babayas". But the child takes everything literally and begins to be afraid. Of course, he has no idea what kind of "babies" are and how they come, so any rustle in the dark for him becomes a sign of the arrival of a terrible enemy.

In no case should you frighten deliberately, with nothing, not by "babayka", not by the police, not by Baba Yaga or any other fairytale heroes. When telling fairy tales, it is necessary to choose fearless and instructive stories, for example, with animals in the main roles. If you really want to tell a fairy tale with scary heroes, then you need to emphasize several times that this is fiction and nothing more, and this does not happen in life.

To overcome fear, you can advise your child to take an example from his favorite hero, who, of course, is not afraid of the dark.

Also, you cannot punish a child by leaving alone in the room, especially if it is dark. Sometimes parents do this, not realizing that in this way they forever instill in the child the fear of darkness, as the connection is fixed: punishment - bad - dark.

If fear has already settled in the soul (Video)

What if the child is already afraid of the dark? First of all, you need to find out the reason. If the child points to a specific source of fear, for example, the shaggy collar of his mother's coat in the dark resembles a monster or it seems that someone is sitting in a dark corner, you need to get rid of this source. It is better to get rid of scary objects, and dark corners can be highlighted.

A very important step towards getting rid of the fear of the dark is creating a cozy atmosphere in the nursery. The room should be as bright and friendly as possible, even in the dark. It is imperative to use nightlights, you can take several small LED lamps and place them in different parts of the room, and stick glowing stars on the ceiling.

Helps to build self-confidence by the ability to see the perceived enemy. To do this, you can give your child a flashlight. Surprisingly, such a simple thing as being able to illuminate any scary corner at any moment often helps to get rid of the fear.

Sometimes, in order to get rid of fear, it is necessary to turn from a victim into a hunter. If the child is afraid, turn on a bright light, give him a flashlight in his hand for the darkest places, for example, under the bed, and offer to find the alleged "babayka". If we manage to turn such a search into an exciting and funny game, “babayka” will be defeated.

It is necessary to talk about children's fear. Let the child tell what scares him, and the parents can tell what they were afraid of, and how over time the fear disappeared. Psychotherapists believe that this is one of the most effective ways to get rid of fear. It is imperative that the child be hugged often, this will allow him to feel support and relieve him of many fears.

Before going to bed, you need to try to help your child relax and calm down as much as possible. To do this, you need to talk to him, you can do a light massage. Also, it will not harm a glass of warm, which will act as a light sleeping pill.

When do you need the help of a child psychologist?

Although the fear of the dark is one of the stages of growing up, and all children have to go through it, sometimes it becomes a real problem, and it is possible to get rid of it only with the help of a specialist - a child psychologist. When is it necessary to seek advice from a psychologist?

The help of a specialist will be needed if the fear of the dark persists in a child under 8-9 years old. At this age, children usually already well distinguish reality from fiction, so frightening fantasies fade into the background. If a child at this age does not fall asleep on his own, this may indicate a deeper problem, which will be impossible to solve on his own.

The help of a psychologist will also be needed in a situation with the presence of strange repetitive stories about the "dangers" pursuing the child. If a child talks about his own murder or abduction by something horrible, this is cause for concern.

It is worth worrying if a child wakes up screaming and tells his parents that he was being strangled. This may indicate deeper complexes, a difficult psychological climate in the family, and it is quite possible that all members of the family will need the help of a psychologist.

It is also worth contacting a specialist if the child fearfully awaits the onset and prepares for this in advance. If the child is afraid of even the slightest manifestations of darkness, for example, an open bedside table or a closet, twilight or curtained windows, it is better to consult a child psychologist.

Quite often you can hear from a child: “Mom, I don’t want to go there, it’s dark there”? When asked about the reason for his fear, he replies that he is afraid that ghosts or monsters are hiding in the room. More often than we should, we make fun of children by saying that things like ghosts don't exist. But if you think about it ...

These seemingly little things of early childhood in adulthood will manifest themselves in phobias, and can make normal human existence very difficult.

Why are children afraid of the dark?

There are many reasons. Not being able to see clearly in a dark room, they turn on the imagination, which helpfully slips them images of monsters and ghosts. And these images are introduced into their minds through films and cartoons that they watch during the day. Reading scary books and scary stories makes a huge contribution to creating a scary picture in a child's mind. As long as you are near the child, fear does not show out, but if you just leave and turn off the light, it is right there.

In the darkness of the night, even adults' fears come to life. What can we say about the kids! The child orients himself in the world around him, relying on the main sensory systems: visual, auditory, tactile. And the greatest percentage of information is received with the help of sight. Darkness is the factor that makes this impossible.

As soon as it gets dark outside the window, the child's brain seeks to compensate for the lack of visual information and turns on other senses at full power. It is then that scary shadows, sounds and tactile sensations appear for babies. Of course, all this not only interferes with sleeping peacefully, but sometimes traumatizes the psyche of the baby.

Uncontrollable fantasy adds a lot of details and circumstances, which become night fear. And parents need to first understand why the child is afraid of the dark, and then fight the fear.

In this article, you will learn

Where does the fear of the dark come from?

Movement is the foundation of child psychology. Moreover, not only the child himself is constantly moving, but also his mental processes. Past experience is carried over to new events, and what is not clear or unknown is thought out and completed. A child is able to create something that an adult would never even think about.

There is no smoke without fire. The cause of childhood fear is not always obvious, but it always exists and is hidden in age-related psychological changes, the environment, social experience, and even the peculiarities of thinking.

Any age-related or situational fear has simple and logical reasons. If you understand them, it will immediately become clear how to save a child from the fear of the dark.

Features of the child's psyche

Rich imagination and creative thinking; the emotionality of perception, memorization and reproduction of events and images - all this makes the child's psyche very sensitive to "provocations", leading to an exacerbation of the fear of the dark:

• watching "non-children's" TV shows and movies;
• retelling action-packed, frightening stories;
• horror stories invented by adults as educational and restraining child's unwanted behavior;
• strangers, awakening frightening associations;
• stress and conflicts in a significant society (environment) for the baby;
• numerous and strict prohibitions.

Some statistics

8 out of 10 mothers note the fear of dark rooms in their children. The survey was conducted in families of children of preschool and primary school age. With the same frequency (80%), fear of the dark is inherited. In 10% of people on the planet, the fear of the dark persists all their lives, and in another 2% it develops into a pathological state - a phobia.

A painful attitude towards darkness, night and twilight is called nytophobia or ahluophobia. These numbers could be much lower if parents sought professional help on time.

What if the child is afraid of the dark? The most valuable advice in this situation: when engaging in battle with monsters, try to be as sincere and interested as possible. Children are very sensitive to parental deception.

Believe in monsters with your child

The first and most important thing for mom and dad is to truly believe in the existence of fear and what that fear causes. For a child, he is real!

An attempt to relieve the baby of the fear of this or that frightening image with the words “does not exist” and “does not exist” will lead to the opposite effect. The child will feel misunderstood and lonely. It will be even worse for him.

Maintain self-esteem

The second is never to call a child a coward or compare with other "brave children." So you add to the fears of the child. And even worse - the thought that he is not loved. And, on the contrary, high self-esteem, awareness of their importance for parents give confidence and strength in the fight against the frightening darkness.

Play against fear

Third, create an atmosphere of psychological comfort around the child (not to be confused with permissiveness!). Walk together, hand in hand, all age-related troubles.

As for fears, as Voltaire said: "What has become funny cannot be dangerous." A game, a correctly selected fairy tale and good humor are your best assistants:

• observe with the baby what “terrible” shadows are cast by the most banal things in the room (a stack of clothes on a chair in the corner, a shirt on “hangers”, a hat on a shelf, etc.), laugh, write a fairy tale or a poem about it;
• play forest animals, using first children's tunnels, and then a darker version of the "mink" from a thick blanket;
• draw the worst fear, and then use a special "magic" pencil or brush to paint funny elements and laugh at this fear;
• invent and act out travel games with overcoming obstacles (blindfolded, for example), be sure to ridicule and defeat the villains;
• play a theater for which blackout is not just the norm, but the rule; puppet, shadow, dramatic, satirical - the main thing is that the terrible and evil be successfully and cheerfully defeated;
• hide-and-seek and blind man's buff with sensitive accompaniment of adults

Games to get rid of fears

Play is present in one way or another at any age stage of human life. For children, this is the most accessible and simple way of learning. Therefore, the play method can be used both in work with a three-year-old and with a younger student; and with boys and young princesses. Short practice sessions in the game will make it easier to accept the darkness in real life.

Hide under the covers together, look at the shadows on the wall during the day, compare the images of the shadows with the shape of the clouds. In short, teach your child to distinguish reality from the fruit of fantasy. Remember your own childhood and play with colored spots (you need to find meaning in a colorful spot on paper), and then do the same with black paint.

The games that can help you overcome your fear are very varied. It is also important that they affect the child's personality as a whole: self-esteem, self-confidence, communicative qualities, volitional processes.

In search of treasure

Illumination of varying intensity (from full illumination to complete darkness) is organized in the apartment. Hints are laid out, according to which the players are looking for a "treasure".

When the child becomes interested in the game and stops being afraid of the dark as part of the game, you can use complication elements or turn the game from a quest into an obstacle course:

• blindfold;
• imitation of a spider web;
• wet elements;
• various sounds, etc.

Family day

If, the situation of ordinary family life is played out, where family members are toys. Day and night are controlled by lighting. When night falls according to the plot, the child puts toys in a dark room, sings lullabies, tells fairy tales, etc.

Helping to relieve a favorite toy from fear, the baby steps over his own fears and does not notice how he is taking this important step for the psyche. A few minutes later, day comes again, and the doll family lives as usual.

Variations of your favorite games

With dolls and toys, you can use hide-and-seek and hide-and-seek games in various ways: people are hiding, then toys. Let your child feel the excitement and joy of playing with you. He will become more confident, and the fear will gradually recede. Partnering with parents in a playful setting is also a wonderful exploration of communication and self-esteem issues.

Puppet show

Ordinary toys and puppets for puppet theater (gloves or puppets) have always been a good help for an effective way of dealing with fears - composing fairy tales and funny stories.

When the baby himself comes up with a fairy tale about his hero and his fears, he transfers his own anxiety from the inner plane to the outer one. And a small psychological miracle happens - a safe emotional and sensory working out of all children's anxieties. After the game, in which the hero calmly went to sleep, the baby himself will be able to fall asleep without anxiety.

Another form of fairy tale existence is therapeutic fairy tales. They can be invented independently or read from a specialized collection.

Shadow play

By itself, this kind of theater is impossible without the contrast of light and shadow. Teach your kid to create shapes, resize them, animate them. Just do not even make jokes with scary images (dads are often sinful with this).

Depict bunnies, mice and donkeys until the child is ready to meet the shadow of a wolf or bear.

Fear has big eyes

With children 3-7 years old, you can play this game. Mom or Dad are sure to be present in the room in the evening. When the baby is trying to make out the image of another monster in the dark, turn on the light and show that it is just a shadow from a stack of clothes or scattered toys. "And so that it doesn't scare you anymore, let's put things in order in the room?" - what is not a motive for the development of cleanliness.

Draw fears

The projective techniques used by psychologists are also available to parents. For example, the method "Non-existent animal" and its variations - "Scary animal", "Angry animal", drawing tests "House, tree, man", "Stars and waves", "Forest (three trees)".

Ask your child to portray everything that scares him at night. During the day all this stops "working", during the day it does not frighten. And making it funny is as easy as shelling pears. Brownie or Babayka suddenly become red-haired illiterate boobies, and Baba Yaga cannot take off in her decrepit mortar. Draw as many details as necessary to make the character funny and fearless.

Ways to overcome fear of the dark

So, in order to teach a kid to cope with the dangers of dark rooms, at any age up to a young teenager (10-12 years old), you can use universal means:

• A game;
• Story;
• Drawing;
• Conversation;
• Satellite.

A lot has been said above about games, fairy tales and drawings. But tools such as conversation and companion can be used as an adjunct to overcome nightly anxieties.

Conversation about darkness

An interesting observation: many children are afraid of the dark, but only a few of them are afraid of the topic of space. Almost all children from 3 to 10 years old are attracted by other worlds, planets and stars. Talk to your child about this.

Perhaps cosmic darkness and a starry sky projector will help turn a scary night nursery into a majestic interstellar cruiser. Buy themed wall decals or floor mat.

Best friend is a toy

Any toy, not necessarily soft, can become a companion. Some children like to lay several small animals next to them. Moreover, both boys and girls can do this until the end of elementary school.

Busy day

And one more important note for moms and dads. For a child to fall asleep quickly and easily, he must be emotionally calm and tired enough with daytime activities. Organize a daily routine and follow it, have your baby eat dinner no later than 2 hours before bedtime, alternate physical and intellectual activity, and do not play exciting games before bedtime.

Do's and Don'ts

Unleash children's imagination. Let the kid play as he wants. Your job is to motivate and guide. Let one of the heroes find himself in a situation similar to the real one. From this moment on, you need to act very subtly. There are a number of rules to consider:

1. You cannot completely and unconditionally agree with all the fantasies of the baby; at some point, you should redirect or even suspend the flow of children's compositions. Humor is the best way to do this.
2. The other extreme is also dangerous - complete disbelief in the stories of the child. For you it is a figment of the imagination, but for him it is a terrible reality. Your arguments that these fears do not exist and cannot exist will not help and even aggravate the problem.
3. Carefully convey to the child's understanding the idea that it is not shameful to be afraid. Fear protects a person from rash actions, you just need to learn how to manage it.
4. Scolding for fear of the dark is also completely useless: in addition to fear of the dark, fear of being punished by parents will appear. Remember: you cannot wean your baby from fears. But to teach to live without them is necessary and important.
5. Stop intimidating: with the phrases "Babai will come", "I will give to Leshem." You can also not allow viewing of scary movies and cartoons. Avoid stress. Observe the daily routine and diet, exclude late dinners.
6. Use nightlights that don't create shadows. It is better if the light is soft and warm. A good option is a salt lamp in the form of a moon or planet.
7. Be patient. Remember age characteristics. At 5 years old, the fear of the dark is the norm, it must be overcome with the child without irritation and haste, and preferably with a smile.

When you need professional help

Watch the show with detailed advice from a psychologist on how to wean your child from fear of the dark:

Correction of fears with the help of a professional (child psychologist or psychotherapist) may be required if evening panic is outside the norm. A specialist consultation is needed if:

• A child over 10 years old is afraid of any dark spaces, while experiencing true negative emotions and fear.
• By the end of elementary school, he continues to fantasize about monsters under the bed or has a terrible imaginary "friend", draws gloomy drawings that do not correspond to the age norm.
• Refuses to fall asleep without light. Doesn't take any rituals. Refuses to play games. Screams and cries in the dark.
• Shows others incl. neurological symptoms: anxiety, intermittent and restless sleep, panic attacks, hand tremors, chin tremors, tics, decreased concentration, poor school performance, etc.

Fear is a natural companion of childhood. The kid needs a variety of tools, a breadth of life experience. Then he will easily cope with any disturbing events and phenomena.

You cannot fixate on fairy tales or your favorite toy only. Teach your child to use different means to gain peace of mind. And never leave the little man alone with fear.

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