How to start a new life after a breakup?
Unfortunately, love sometimes passes, and the contradictions in a couple, as divorce lawyers say, become irreconcilable. Many people quickly recover from a breakup and begin to build new relationships, but what if the emotional trauma was too deep? ELLE suggests going through five steps of “rehabilitation” to get out of a difficult situation with your head held high and a firm intention to live happily.
Let your emotions out
How to get over a breakup? Don’t try to mask the pain and resentment after a breakup - cry and feel sorry for yourself properly. Many psychologists recommend creating a whole ritual for this: sit on the floor in the center of an empty room and cry your heart out for a couple of hours. The desire to whine throughout the day should disappear after this. In television programs dedicated to separation (“Ex-Wives Club”, “Reboot”, “Take It Off Now”, etc.), experts also recommend getting rid of the personal belongings of your ex-lover remaining in the house using any available method. We support: out of sight, out of mind! Working out in the gym will also be an excellent option for relieving negative emotions - dancing will lift your spirits, and boxing will help you burn off steam.
Start with yourself
If before you literally could not imagine life without a partner, then after breaking up you will certainly experience a feeling of emptiness: who to spend your evenings with now, who to cook breakfast for, why go shopping and plan a vacation, how to start a new life? Instead of couples' entertainment, we advise you to take care of yourself. For example, learn a new hobby that you never had enough time for before. For example, Jennifer Aniston got over her breakup with Brad Pitt with the help of yoga. The moral is not difficult to guess: it is more effective to concentrate on self-development and strive forward than to stall in place.
Get support
Don’t be afraid to be weak and pour out your heart to those you trust, although you shouldn’t overuse too many conversations with close friends, because they also have the right to rest. An electronic game diary for iOS can be an assistant in this case. Essentially, this is a coach that is always at your fingertips: the app gives daily tasks to help you cope with emotional pain, regain self-confidence and, ultimately, find a new partner. In case of an acute attack of melancholy, feel free to press the SOS button and follow the instructions. Consider that you have found another friend, and he will never be “too busy” to cry into his vest.
Move
No wonder they say that movement is life. No matter how much you want to spend all your days in bed, force yourself to get out of the house for walks or even jogging. At first it will not be easy, but over time the positive result will affect both the emotional background and the physical form. Also, avoid overindulging in cigarettes and alcohol—such unhealthy outlets have been proven to ultimately make the condition worse and provoke feelings of guilt. Moreover, while drunk, you risk committing actions that you may regret.
Make plans
A guilt complex often accompanies breakups. Surely you also think that you could be more accommodating in a relationship, look better, speak less harshly. If there really were mistakes, let them help you learn lessons for the future, but not become a reason for self-flagellation. Instead of regretting the past, start journaling and write down your most desired personal goals for the next month, year and five years, and then make a list of small steps that will lead you to them. Think about what you can do for your happiness today and how to start a new life?
