How to establish a personal life: advice from a psychologist
Do you have problems on the personal front? Can't find your soul mate? Stop thinking that princes and princesses are gone. The root of the problem always lies in the person who cannot find a suitable match for himself. Read below to find out how to improve your personal life.
Boost your self esteem
Do you like the person whose reflection you see in the mirror every day? This is not about external virtues, but about internal qualities. Do you love yourself or does your person seem too weak, spineless and apathetic to you? If so, then it's time for a change. It is difficult to love a person who is not confident in himself. If a person does not understand why one can love oneself, then why should others look for something that the person himself does not find in himself?
Why do selfish and arrogant ladies always have many admirers? For the reason that girls know how to present themselves in a favorable light. They demonstrate to others the strengths of their character and competently mask their shortcomings. You should do the same. Work on yourself and on your confidence. Write down your strengths and weaknesses on a sheet. And then develop the positive qualities and eradicate the negative ones. This practice will help you feel your uniqueness and attractiveness. And individuals who understand their significance always attract others.
Work on your appearance
A beautiful shell will attract attention to you faster than a gray appearance. No matter what anyone says about a spiritual connection, you can see the inner virtues of a person only by getting to know him better. And it is always pleasant to get acquainted with people with bright personalities who are pleasing to the eye. Why is it impossible for a man to establish a personal life? Girls devote a lot of time to their appearance, and most guys believe that they are endowed with a great appearance by nature. But to attract the attention of the fair sex, one beautiful face will not be enough.
The guy needs to work on his body. Men of athletic build who know how to choose the right clothes and cologne for themselves are popular with women. And those guys who think that a two-day stubble gives their face brutality are greatly mistaken. Grooming a beard is a lot of work. And if you do not want to spend a lot of time on the services of barbershops, then it is better to shave smoothly every day. Remember that appearance plays an almost paramount role in establishing a personal life.
Understand who your significant other is
Searching for something without knowing what is very difficult. If you want to find your perfect soul mate, you must have a good idea of how it should look like. How to establish a personal life for a guy? A man should think about the image of the only and beloved, which is sewn into his subcortex. Should she be brunette or blonde? High or low? An intellectual or a girl with a secondary education? Describe a detailed portrait of your ideal lady.
Thanks to a detailed description, you can figure out who you can take as a guide. And then look for a real girl who will match the description. Someone may say that in this case the chance of finding a suitable person will decrease. But it's not. You will not waste your time dating girls who are not suitable for you a priori. After all, a ship that is heading for a particular coast, say Africa, will not stop at every continent to make sure that it has not yet reached its destination. With a rough sketch of the ideal soulmate, it will be much easier to find the right person.
Start self-development
Who are you interested in spending time with? With a person who can cheer you up, tell you something interesting or ask non-trivial questions. Why is it impossible to establish a personal life? Psychologists say that the problems with finding a soul mate for many people lie in the low level of education. The persona is a boring person, and it is not interesting to spend time with her. Most often, girls suffer from this problem.
Students who have not yet received higher education are trying to find smart and wealthy men, but over and over again they are disappointed in their gentlemen. Girls begin to think that the problem is that men only want sex from them. But in fact, guys simply do not find common topics for communication with ladies. There is nothing to talk about with stupid girls, it is embarrassing to show them to friends and there is nowhere to go with them. Such relationships are doomed to failure from the start. Therefore, do your self-education, be interested in the latest news and train your communication skills.
Change your social circle
Do you only interact with people of the same gender? Then you should not be surprised that you can not establish a personal life. You should expand yours in order to be able to meet at least a potential soul mate. As a student, this is easiest to do. Students communicate not only within their group, but also within their stream. If you have not been sitting at lectures for a long time, but earn your living by working, then try to expand your social circle at work.
You can not only talk to people from your department, but also communicate with those people who work in neighboring departments. Your firm employs only 10 people and you know all of them well? Then it will not work to establish a personal life at work. Ask a friend to introduce you to someone. If your acquaintances have a richer personal life than yours, then the second half of your best friend or girlfriend will definitely have someone you know who will agree to meet with you. Well, if in this way you can’t find a candidate for the role of the second half, then you can always meet on the street.
Go to meetups more often
You do not know where you can find a soul mate? Why not try to go to meetings of interest. How to establish a personal life for a girl? Think about your interests. Do you study a foreign language, play the guitar or are you fond of reading? Then find places in your city where you can meet like-minded people. In special clubs, you can discuss novelties in the book industry, watch films in the language, or get new skills in playing the guitar. Along the way, you will meet people who will have common ground with you. Therefore, it will be easier for you to establish communication with them. Well, if you can not arrange a personal life in such a club, you will not lose anything. At the very least, you will acquire knowledge and skills that will be useful to you in the future.
Be self-sufficient
How can a woman improve her personal life? What is the problem with today's girls? They make idols out of guys and live only in their relationship. And it is difficult to cope with the role of God, and men cannot stand it. The woman is upset: how so, she put a man on a pedestal, but he did not live up to her high expectations. A girl must understand that men are not gods and not idols, but ordinary living people with their own weaknesses and characteristics. A lady should not live exclusively in her personal life. A girl should have personal passions and preferences. For example, a hobby or favorite work. And better than both. When a woman's head is busy, she does not have time to grind her problems and the problems of her relationships in it. Therefore, happiness in life does not overshadow anything.
How to establish a personal life? A person needs to understand that, whether he finds a soul mate or not, in any case he will be happy. He has family and friends. The support of loved ones and the opportunity to spend time in a pleasant company exist. And true love will surely come. And if by this moment a person is self-sufficient, he will be able to appreciate it.
Leave the past in the past
What stops a person from moving on? The past, which pulls back, often does not make it possible to build a happy personal life. How to establish a personal life for a man? It is necessary to break off all relations with former young ladies. Don't have any contact with girls. Don't call them, don't write. Remove ladies from social networks and do not go to their pages. Such a fence of oneself from the past has a beneficial effect on a person. The person no longer thinks that he can return to his ex, and begins to take a closer look at the present. But in the present there are many lonely and pretty people who crave attention and love. Let go of the past and allow yourself to move on.
Treat people the way you would like them to treat you
Many girls in relationships with guys make one big mistake. They believe that a man should be a knight, and his task is to win the heart of a beauty. If at the initial stage of the relationship it works, then later such tactics fail. How to improve your personal life and not destroy your own happiness? A girl should invest in a relationship just like a young man does. A good personal life is the work of both partners. A lady should periodically call a man, invite him on dates and arrange surprises. In this case, the guy will feel the support of his beloved and understand that he is not indifferent to the lady. If the girl behaves like the Snow Queen, then the boyfriend will think that he is uninteresting and will go looking for a more suitable person.
Contact a psychotherapist
All the problems of a person are in his head. How to establish a personal life? A person must understand himself. If a person fails to find a soul mate and a person is constantly dissatisfied with something in partners, then you should contact a psychotherapist. A specialist will help you understand yourself and find the roots of hidden problems. All the complexes that are formed in a person are born in childhood. And it is very difficult to change the situation on your own. Therefore, it is worth trying with the help of a psychotherapist to rebuild your present by editing your relationship to the past. Thus, it will be possible to take a different look at others and find your true love.
