How to learn to quarrel and not swear?

Relationships between two people can not do without quarrels. We are all unique and have our own view of the world, under such conditions it is impossible to do without a conflict of interests. The closer the relationship between a man and a woman, the more likely it is to meet disagreement.

Screaming, swearing, broken dishes - all this is a consequence of inept conflict resolution, which most often is defending one's position. When the intensity reaches its peak, lovers either give up or break up. But can't this be avoided?

Why should we quarrel?

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A philosophical question most often asked by people with little life experience. Quarrels have their own function, without which we simply will not be ourselves. During the conflict, a person manifests himself as an independent person, a full-fledged member of society.

If during a quarrel you immediately agree and give up, you will become a weak victim of manipulation. If you defend any position to the end, you will become famous as a stubborn rude person who thinks only of himself. As you can see, it is necessary to find a middle ground between these two extremes.

Conflict strengthens relationships

Let's imagine a relationship without conflict situations. This is possible only with the unquestioning consent of one of the partners in all disputable situations. What wallpaper to glue, where to go on vacation, what to name the children. These decisions will affect the lives of both lovers, so they must be made together.

If the mother wants to name her son Bogdan, and the father does not consider other options except Cyril, then a conflict arises. If it were not for him, then resentment would forever lurk in the head of one of the partners. Grievances tend to accumulate, poison feelings and thoughts. The quality of the relationship becomes worse, and disgust and hatred replace love.

But what if mom and dad still came into conflict? Yes, they could quarrel and come to nothing, this is a bad way out of the situation. But this happens only in those couples who see the quarrel only as defending their position.

If mom and dad show respect for each other and set not themselves as the goal, but a compromise, then the name of the child that suits both will be chosen without any offense. It is not necessary to come up with a third option, you can stop at Bogdan, you just need to convince dad that this name suits better.

Important- during the conflict, set the goal of a peaceful solution to the problem situation and finding a compromise. Stubbornly defending your position can harm relationships. Look at the situation through the eyes of a partner, try to understand his disagreement.

Rules for Right Conflict

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It is possible to learn to quarrel and not swear. To do this, we recommend using the following tips. They are aimed at removing selfishness from reasoning and instilling in partners the desire to come to a compromise.

1. Don't pay so much attention to trifles.

How many couples break up because of stupid things like unwashed dishes and scattered socks. These little things escalate into larger topics of quarrel, eventually leading to deep wounds. Can't this be avoided?

Do not make a tragedy out of trifles, no matter how much you want to. See the dirty dish in the sink? Inform that you will wash it yourself, but ask not to repeat this again. Speak in a calm, peaceful tone. Do not impose a conflict, even if in response they did not hear the desired agreement. Your patience can save everything.

2. Don't Delay Conflict Resolution

Leaving finding a compromise for later, you run the risk of poisoning your thoughts with resentment and the desire to hurt your soul mate. Solve problems as they come, otherwise you risk being left alone.

If you quarreled before going to bed, be sure to come to at least a temporary truce. Falling asleep in an embrace in the same bed, in the morning your quarrel may lose its significance and seem like a mere trifle that is not worth your tears and offended cries.