How to build happiness in the family. How to create a happy and strong family? Secrets of a Happy Family Life

The book you are holding in your hands is the third in a series titled by the Nicaea publishing house "How to Build Family Happiness?" We continue our acquaintance with Christian family psychology, begun in the books "Falling in love, love, dependence" and "Man and woman: from me to us." The previous book ended with a wedding - good story always ends with a wedding. Many fairy tales, novels and films, where the main characters love each other, end at this most interesting place for us - the heroes finally go down the aisle to unite and live happily ever after. Happy end.

This book, on the other hand, is just beginning with a wedding. For us, the authors, this is the most difficult and important thing - to describe how and from what the marriage is formed and how the family develops, what stages and crises go through. This is necessary to show: the family is movement, development, and not a new stable state, to which you need to get used to and "live, live, make good money." The wedding is not the finish line, I ran and calmed down, this is a start. Everything that happened before, before Mendelssohn's march and the exchange of rings, was just preparation.

And yet, family life is not a hundred meters, but a marathon, which many do not think about. Often a girl who has set herself the goal of getting married is energetic, inventive during courtship, and manifests herself as creative person... And after the "crown" - where did everything go? She calms down and becomes inert, in some ways even indifferent, afraid of change. Often men after the wedding "relax" - to conquer and enchant no one else, you don't need to perform feats, to splurge, and they suddenly turn out to be lazy people and incessant TV viewers ("He just clicks the remote control!"). In short, something can happen in a marriage that turns happiness into a routine. Love "cools down", emotions grow dim, the cold of boredom cools the heart.

What happened? Nothing, that's the point! It's just that few people think that marriage and family is continuous development, creative creation, blessed labor of spouses! The purpose of marriage is to live in love, fidelity and harmony happily ever after, so that, perhaps, one day, at some wonderful moment, you will see in your marriage a house that is finally completed, and to live in which is true happiness! It may not be an architectural monument, not a mansion that was dreamed of in his youth, not a fortress, not a fashionable cottage, but not a dilapidated shed, not a country house, not a temporary hut and not a "hut". A house in which there is what the family needs, in which everything is individual, everything is with love.

We have written in previous books that the foundation family relations, and the knots of problems are laid even before the wedding, at a time when a man and a woman are just about to make a decision about marriage. In this book, it is important for us to trace how relationships develop after the wedding, how they form - or not is being formed - a new structure and why. Describing the life cycle of a family, we pay special attention to crises accompanying the transition from one stage of development of the family system to another - the so-called normative crises that each family faces. It is important for us to understand what efforts and deeds, what kind of love and sacrifice spouses need in order for the family to become a living and functional system capable of developing, overcoming crisis moments and giving life, continuing the family line.

We are trying to clarify the answer to the question, what is a family - a unit of society or a small church? Where are the boundaries of the family and where is her heart?

In this book we are talking about new family, which arose from the relationship between a man and a woman and their decisions about marriage. And let the image of the family, which we have looming, someone will see a little fabulous: "This does not happen in life!" - it seems to us that at the beginning family life important to have correct landmarks so that the vector of family development goes in the right direction. If this book is read by an experienced spouse, they will be able to see at what point in their joint journey they turned “the wrong way”, and when they found the right solution for their family (there are no universal solutions).

Even if there are no examples of happy families in your environment, this does not mean at all that they do not exist in nature or that your family cannot become happy.

The examples in the book are based on real practice, but all circumstances and details have been changed, any overlap with real people random.

This is not a prelude, this is the first act of the play. In this act, the main actions are performed, there are many forces in it, a lot of love energy, many accomplishments, changes, but everything that was laid down by friendship and love, matchmaking and marriage is already manifesting. Along with the sweetness of marriage, the bitterness of problems begins. Newlyweds have a long way to go, on which they will solve many tasks, such as building a house, getting to know each other, building a family. This is the path of crises and new stages of life.

Marriage has that fundamental difference from any other form of human existence, that it is maximally saturated with life as such: love, having children, taking care of the house, household, health, school, holidays, christenings and even funerals - all this is life. Neither bachelor's nor monastic life knows all this. Marriage is the fullness of life in the bodily, family-clan, social, economic and financial sense. A man and a woman do not even know how many worries and deeds will fall on them, as soon as they become husband and wife, in how many socially obligatory relationships they will be inscribed, what responsibility they will bear from now on! The worries of spouses, in comparison with single people, do not just double, they multiply tenfold. This becomes especially noticeable when children are born - a children's kitchen, a clinic, a nursery, a kindergarten, a school, certificates, benefits, circles and sport sections and so on and so forth.

Of course, all this does not fall on the head at once. Concerns and responsibilities are added gradually. And in the same way, new connections and relationships are gradually taking shape. But already the first days of marriage can be oversaturated with novelty and surprises. At times Honeymoon is poisoned by something - material problems, troubles at work or relationships with parents. And as psychological practice shows, sometimes the mistakes of the first period of married life are made only because young people simply do not know that marriage from the very beginning imposes on the spouses the responsibility for the implementation of many family, family and social functions. Most often, when they talk about the difficulties of starting a married life, they mean solving everyday issues: for example, who prepares food and when and who washes the dishes. But in reality, this is not the most difficult thing. Rebuilding relationships with families, friends, colleagues, etc. is much more difficult.

Have already flashed happy Days romantic dates, Mendelssohn's march echoed, a divine honeymoon swept by. Faced with the first disagreements and surviving the first showdown, many contemporaries are horrified by the delights of marriage and do not know how to improve family relationships.

What surprises are hidden in marriage: realities living together
Almost all newlyweds go through a difficult period of testing with household chores and unpleasant discoveries. Their life partner appears in a new guise, which does not always correspond to the required ideal.
More recently, a charming and compliant girl, having got a ring on her finger, in the blink of an eye became a grumpy and capricious fury. Promoted to the rank of wife, the matron turned out to be a devilish werewolf who skillfully, behind a mask of virtue, had previously disguised the character of Satan. The image of this effeminate vampire is dashingly completed by the constant curlers on the head and slices of cucumber, which somehow miraculously adhered to the face that spreads from sobs.

However, men, due to their innate practicality, somehow resign themselves to a new fate and adapt to the impartial realities of life. At first, they do their best to establish an understanding with their spouse and maintain respectful relations in the marriage. But the faithful ladies just cannot get used to the new role and build friendly relations in family. They famously wash dirty linen in public, spreading rumors about their tyrannical spouse to the wind.

So, in their opinion, the former charismatic and sympathetic boyfriend after the wedding turned into a grumbling and inattentive despot. Earlier, a hardworking and well-earning guy reincarnated as a lazy parasite who does not leave the already worn-out place on the couch for days. His appearance is famously "decorated" with regular drinking, silly comments on endless football matches, mixed with angry foul language.

The newly minted spouse cannot understand that the tough business requirements really require her half to be present in the office in excess of the regulated working day. And hobbies among legitimate elect also resemble satanic obsession. For young wives, fishing and hunting is like an electric shock: it pierces the head and knocks off the brains of young girls.
And some time after the wedding, the young wife asks the question: how to improve family relationships and tame a wayward husband. We invite you to study together the recommendations that can be safely called “the golden secrets of wise wives.

How to build a relationship in marriage: taming an obstinate husband
To improve family relationships, you need to take the first step: admit that a man is a different kind of berry. Understand that the dominant traits of a male character are very different from the characteristics of a female nature. The primordially masculine qualities can be called "a set of a hunter and a conqueror." These are strength and endurance, fearlessness and courage, determination and assertiveness, hostility and aggression.
In life, the dominant need of the male is the desire to realize himself in his career, to take a place of bread at the hearth and drive away rivals. Married status for guys is secondary. It is because of his innate desire for submission, control and management that the spouse can seem to the young wife as a ruthless, heartless cracker.

We draw a conclusion. In order to maintain a married relationship, one should not go too far and react hysterically to such a “male set”. It is necessary to be guided by the rule: a man will not chirp tenderly like a bird, and will not bring sweet nectar to please his newly-made wife. It must be understood that the external callousness of a spouse does not at all mean a cooling of feelings and the appearance of a rival on the horizon.

Next male feature, which brings young spouses to white heat and does not allow them to improve relations in the family - the unwillingness of the husband to be in his native land for days on end. It is we, the incessant whores, who are able to contemplate our beloved incessantly and be content with the presence of at least some kind of husband. Men are focused not on heart-to-heart conversations, but on actions. At the same time, for them, communication with a soul mate and raising children is very often in third place after a vital career and hobbies that require constant attention.

We draw a conclusion. Although a lot of ladies suffer from a spouse's inattention, in order to improve relations with a husband, one should be guided by the saying: one must respond with good to the harm done. Lovely ladies are lovely because they show tenderness, show kind-heartedness, and send streams of warmth. Even the most callous man will surely feel these promises of goodness and will be drawn to such a gentle person. The warmth of women will guarantee that the guy will always strive to restore his peace of mind and feel peace next to a delicate and sympathetic wife.

An important feature of male nature that does not allow wives to feel desirable is the inability to express their feelings out loud. A woman often believes that if a man does not regularly compliment, it means that he has lost interest in her. Psychologists say that it is very difficult for guys to find the right words that will reflect their attitude towards the chosen one. They are embarrassed to show their affection, because they are very afraid that they will be considered effeminate sissies. Some husbands simply don’t realize that courtesies help mend a relationship with a vulnerable wife. They don't even suggest that pleasant words inspire a tired housewife, who is filled with life-giving energy from compliments.

We draw a conclusion. Do not get very upset and focus on the awkwardness of a man's feelings. It is necessary to gradually direct your betrothed to the manifestation of tenderness. The best carrot for a husband is regular praise, and the harshest stick is edifying morality. Therefore, you should sincerely thank your spouse for the tiniest signs of attention. To improve family relationships, all ladies should forget about lecturing forever.

Another trait of guys that infuriates young women and does not allow the relationship in marriage to be improved. This is a reluctance for men to perform any functions in the house. It is we, the keepers of the hearth, who can tirelessly fuss around the apartment and feel the buzz from the comfort created in the house. The representatives of the stronger sex, no doubt, enjoy being in comfort and eating from a washed plate, but they believe that household chores are a voluntary vocation of true women. Therefore, an average static man reluctantly pulls the household load, while choosing gentleman's tasks for himself, for example: to convey garbage bag to the nearest tank.

We draw a conclusion. According to social studies, the overwhelming majority of men believe that it is the woman who is responsible for creating home comfort, organizing family life, solving everyday problems, and raising children. Therefore, one should not demand the impossible from the faithful. He will not step on his throat, just to match the female view of the homebuilding. To create a pleasant marriage, wives need to take responsibility for the climate in the family. To improve relations with a spouse, it is necessary to develop diplomatic qualities, artistry and play the role of a peacemaker.

Women are very often unbalanced by the specific attitude of young dads towards their offspring. Young mothers are offended that their spouse does not actively demonstrate parental feelings. There is a logical explanation for such male inattention. From birth, nature has given the fair sex an unconscious need to become a mother. That is why every woman, even in her youth, strives for motherhood. Already little girls are showing their maternal instinct in games: swaddling, feeding, dressing their doll "children".

We draw a conclusion. In guys, the instinct of procreation wakes up much later. That is why some men deliberately delay marriage. This argument must be taken into account by the ladies, so as not to panic and save normal relationship in family. In addition, some busy guys are very annoyed by the eternal whimpering of the baby, which prevents them from concentrating on watching the news and prevents them from getting enough sleep. In order for the spouse to have sentimental affection for his heir, it is often necessary to courageously endure the diaper period, waiting for the baby to start whining "daddy". Then the harshest man will be proud to be a father.

There is one male habit that strongly affects the psyche of suspicious and suspicious people. It is a man's peculiarity to devour every skirt that passes by with his eyes. However, in order not to arrange the dangerous consequences of the disassembly and to save trusting relationship in the family, it should be remembered: "eating" through the eyes of all the ladies is a normal reaction for males. At the same time, they make such expressive turns of the head in the first place to prove to themselves that their chosen one is the best and most attractive.

We draw a conclusion. The task of every woman is to take care of her health, figure and appearance. Overwork, resentment, anger are reflected in our appearance. Unkempt hair, peeling nails, fat-swollen buttocks - such details are unlikely to attract the attention of guys. Today, there are many effective and not very expensive recovery and anti-aging programs that will return female body charming shapes... Do not forget about the importance of visiting hairdressers, beauticians, nutritionists. We make visits to gym, swimming pool, sauna and we arrange walks in a picturesque park area.

A common mistake wives make when trying to maintain a relationship with their husband is to regularly ask them out. At the same time, "debriefing" in post-Soviet families occurs with constant obscene language, heart-rending screams and smashing dishes. It should be remembered: showdown and scandals do not contribute to the preservation of a strong family. On the contrary, conflicts cool the feelings of a loving man.

We draw a conclusion. Of course, you should not keep the accumulated grievances in yourself. It is necessary to cleanse your inner space of negative emotions. However, complaints should be made in a constructive way. Remember: there is a special set of phrases that can neutralize the negative connotation of a claim. For example, we can construct our dictum by starting by saying “dear” to our husband. In doing so, we will express our requirements in a friendly tone. No man will grumble at such signs of attention and respect for his person. He will certainly meet halfway and begin to look for ways to improve family relationships.

Every person wants to be happy. And this is good. And if the whole family is also happy, that's even better. But what if this is not the case? Sometimes it seems that each family member goes his own way: the children have a school, sections, circles, and the spouses are constantly busy at work. How to achieve success in a family business? How to create happy family? It turns out that everything is very simple.

HOW TO CREATE A HAPPY FAMILY: WHAT MAKES A HAPPY FAMILY

• Slogan!

First, you need to decide on a family slogan! This will be a good start in your "project" on how to create a happy family. It should be positive and constructive. As in self-respecting successful companies, happy families have their own slogan or slogan. This way children will understand family values from the very beginning and will not only respect them, but also increase them.

• Joint travel.

If you can afford it, organize a trip to your extended family for some or no occasion. In this way, you will maintain your relationship with family members, as well as introduce them to your children. And in general, take your grandparents with you! Traveling together will surely unite your family and make you.

• Stories from the past.

Travel from the comfort of your home, telling your children your stories from the past. You can also invite the older generation to complement your story and give it even more charm and beauty. Family history and traditions are very important and must be passed down from generation to generation, in particular through stories and stories. Thus, your family will become happy, and this happiness will be passed on from generation to generation.

• Communication between generations.

Make sure that your grandchildren and granddaughters communicate with their grandparents as much as possible. Older generation not only can help you, but also make them calmer and more obedient. Everyone will benefit from this interaction, as the family will only grow stronger.

• Family rituals and traditions.

Create weekly classes that you will do with the whole family: watch a movie, make pizza, go to the market for groceries. You can also take shared photos, print them, and design a family photo album. Kind family traditions make all family members happy.

• Joint labor.

Take time to do something useful for your family for free. It's not that hard to plan ahead for a cleanup, cleaning a nearby park, or any other community service. This will teach children the right values, empathy and empathy. And also joint work makes the family happy and close-knit. It will help you for years to come.

• Volunteering.

Volunteering is an opportunity to invest your time in helping the community and doing something good. The time spent volunteering with the family instills in children the right values ​​and teaches them the importance of donation. This can be a cleanup, garbage collection or cleaning the territory. Or you can take part in a bike ride dedicated to the day of fighting a disease. The main thing is that the whole family is involved.

• One-to-one communication.

Time spent together is very important, as is communication with children one-on-one. Each child should feel that he is unique and each of the parents is interested in him, in his interests and development. Try to devote time to this almost every day so that all children have a piece of personal communication. From this, your children will grow up happy, which will help you in the question: how to create a happy family.

• Distribution of household responsibilities.

Everyone in the family should have a distribution of household responsibilities, including children. The main thing is to distribute them in such a way that there is always a choice. Go for a walk with the dog or dust the room. Monotony plunges anyone into boredom and despondency. Think over a list of responsibilities, print it and hang it in a prominent place so as not to hear in your address: "Do I have to do this?" or yes? You didn't tell me that. " Then the routine of household chores will not prevent you from creating a happy family.

• Family dinner together.

Families who eat together are much happier and healthier, as this is another reason for everyone to chat about common topics and discuss plans for the future. Thus, you not only provide for the children, but you can also control the size of the portions to avoid overeating. Moreover, try to dine while dressed in your home clothes - this way you will further emphasize the importance of family communication at home. So each family member will feel needed and happy.

• Open communication.

How to create a happy family? The answer is simple. Happy families live in communication. Constant communication within the family is an excellent rule that should be in every cell of society. An open dialogue helps each family member in solving a particular situation. Especially when it comes to children who need special attention. Having a dinner, going to the movies, or going for a walk helps to keep the conversation going.

Make sure everyone in the family has the right to speak freely, as well as be able to listen to others. Just don't interrupt each other and think about more than yourself and your interests. Each family member makes the family happy if they bring their own personal contribution.

We hope these tips will help you strengthen family bonds and create a happy family. Good luck in your endeavors. You will succeed. Be happy and healthy!

• Correctly prioritized. If your career is in the first place, then problems in the family simply cannot be avoided. Children are overlooked, the husband is "disliked", everyone is under stress.
• Don't be afraid of responsibility. Take responsibility for your family environment. Blaming your partner will only make your relationship worse. Only you make your life, no one guides you from above. Therefore, the mood in the family and other spheres of life will depend only on you. Maybe you have heard from others the phrase: "if our mother is in a bad mood, then the whole family is in a bad mood."
• Private touching. Sometimes a person all day is like a prickly hedgehog, that you can't tell him he snorts and frowns. And just one hug, one touch or one kiss melts the icy heart and the mood rises by itself.
• Pleasant surprises. Do what you don't normally do in order to diversify your life: passionate SMS, little present, a boat trip for two, etc.
• Respect for personal boundaries. Do not supervise your partner or children every second. The first needs to get bored and relax so that the feelings start playing again, and the second needs to learn independence and socialization without your support.
• Acceptance of a partner as he is. Common reason quarrels in a couple are attempts to change a partner, his habits, principles, etc.

Any person wants care, understanding and warmth. The house in which he finds all these qualities becomes dear and irreplaceable. It's a pleasure to return to such a place. In addition, one wants to pay with good for good.

Besides happy couple minor flaws and features of each other do not irritate. They understand that a fight over socks or a toilet lid not folded down is silly. If you love each other, then accept all the little things and do not swear over trifles. It is these nuances that spoil the mood, but spoil it for those who are looking for it themselves.

• One of the clearest signs of a successful union is Attention... This goes for a haircut, a new tie, a change in habit, and many other things like that. But besides this, there is another attention, which is expressed in the ability to listen, give useful advice, do not interrupt the interlocutor and be sincerely interested in his life.

Everyone noticed that sometimes all his ears were buzzing to his soul mate about the importance of the upcoming event, and when it passed, then native person didn't even ask about it. Everyone's memory is different, but when you truly love and respect a person, then you also worry about his deeds.

As for attention, this is a very broad topic, which is one of the most important criteria for a happy family. Attention is the ability to hear the desires, dreams, and tastes of another. Give long-awaited gifts, buy favorite flowers and do not even forget that he likes to dilute tea with cream, not milk.

• An equally striking sign of a happy relationship is considered self-sacrifice... This does not mean that you have to throw yourself out of the window or under the train if another did so. You can sacrifice time, favorite things and comfort. You need to be able to lovingly share a delicious cake, blanket, jacket. Caring people, first of all, are interested in the opinion and desire of another, and only then express their own.
• V happy family no offense, and all objections are heard in a calm tone and without pretensions. Good words Compliments are not flattery, but love that you want to express. Perhaps respect is the most correct synonym for a happy family. Without him, the relationship will quickly perish.

Relationship between parents and children

Children in a happy family also become happy, because everything is interconnected. When you are constantly given warmth and care, you yourself want to give it all in return. You won't want to run away from such a house or come too late. You will want to return there, because you will be helped to cope with any difficulties and problems.

For a child, a healthy and happy family means sincerity, calmness and devotion. It is important for him that actions are proved not only by words, but also by actions, because this is a building of trust. They want to hear advice that will help solve their problems, not just comments and grievances. And children also need compliments, because each of us loves with “ears”.

Toddlers most of all need approval and support, because dad and mom are authority for him. If they find time for him, help and listen, then various complexes are automatically excluded. It has already been proven that most mental and self-esteem problems come from childhood. Usually such children grow up in families where people bullied him, abused bad habits were constantly busy or often scolded.

In order to understand how to become a happy family, it is important to understand that a lot depends not only on you, but also on the other person. If you are already thinking about how to make your family happy, then this is a great progress. You need to understand what is not happy with you and what things are spoiling your relationship. It is best to make the list on a piece of paper for clarity.

Give yourself more time to write down the causes of conflicts. Write down absolutely all the little things that you remember. Keep in mind that you need to indicate not only the blame and mistakes of your beloved, but also your own. It is honesty that will show that you are also not an ideal person and that the other is also not happy.

Then go through your list and try to get out of each situation with dignity. Play the scene and come up with other words and expressions that will lead to peace, not war. You can do this in private, or you can offer such a game to your spouse or boyfriend in advance.

Tell your partner that you are dreaming of creating a happy family and ask their opinion. We assure you that you will be answered in full reciprocity. Making decisions and discussing problems together will help you get each other's opinions. If you constantly swore and fought, then after this conversation everything will not change overnight. At first, you will control yourself, break down somewhere and apologize, but then you will be genuinely happy - on automatism.

Making peace in the home is a work that is rewarded sooner or later. There are several secrets and recipes for a happy family:

1. Think Before Vocalizing Your Emotions... Very often all conflicts occur over little things that hurt the accumulated anger. It is not true that you have to express anger at people, because you can get rid of it with the help of sports, a good movie or a trip to an attraction. And what does not suit you should be discussed at the moments when you feel good.
2. It's easy to give unexpected gifts and arrange surprises... A note with a declaration of love, secretly hidden in the spouse's pocket, does not require any investments. If there is no money for flowers, then sometimes you can pick the same dandelions to show you care. And if you really buy a bouquet, then your beloved, and not the one that is conveniently sold near the house. It is important to listen and take note of randomly spoken out loud desires and try to fulfill them whenever possible.
3. There is no need to be afraid to compliment, because from beautiful words man blooms... Just do not confuse compliments with flattery, because it is immediately felt. The bottom line is that we often notice some details in a loved one that we like, but decide not to talk about them.
4. Praise your loved ones for what they do for you.... When there is feedback, then there is a desire to repeat good deeds. Try to thank for the food you have cooked, for the things you put away, for simply holding the door for you. Do not think that everyone owes you, even though people do it unselfishly.
5. Maintain passion with your loved one... Arrange romantic evenings, buy beautiful lingerie, send SMS with intimate words or even a photo, if you have done this before. Warm up your feelings and do not think that there can be nothing new in your life.
6. Keep track of your home wardrobe... If you are already a family, this does not mean that you can relax as much as possible. In the end, there is a comfortable one, but beautiful clothes for home. Why do we so often buy things for going out or for work, and we sew T-shirts and leotards on the couch to the holes?
7. Watch yourself... Nobody talks about 24/7 styling and luxurious makeup. You can look simple but well-groomed. It is important to maintain good body hygiene at all times, walk with clean hair, etc. Girls can have masks when they are at work, so as not to scare him.
8. If you have a fight, then come up and make up first.... Such a gesture means that you do not want to continue your conflict, but love the person so much that you forget about pride. Believe me, such a step will definitely be appreciated.
9. Take an interest in things to do and the past day... Sometimes a person expects you to ask him about it and does not tell himself. Unjustified expectations accumulate resentment, but it is easier not to generate them. Attention to the life of another is the foundation of a happy family.
10. Ask each other for advice. This also applies to important purchases and life situations. Keep in mind that if you are interested, then be so kind as to follow this advice, otherwise there will be the opposite effect.
11. Take care of the little things... You can always close the door and not talk loudly on the phone when your loved one is sleeping. It's also elementary to just clean his shoes at the same time as yours. There are a lot of similar moments and you are mistaken that others do not notice them.
12. Support your loved one when they feel bad... All people make mistakes and in these moments they feel especially depressed. Even if you disagree with the act of another, but the person himself realized his mistake, so you should not finish him off. By the way, it can be bad physically. Even with the usual flu, you want to feel a little support. It is very easy to make tea or bring a blanket when someone is really dear to you.
13. Share your thoughts, secrets too... What kind of happy family can we talk about if people know nothing about each other?
14. Selfishness should be eradicated... This is an insanely bad quality that quickly ruins a relationship. You need to understand that your loved one also has certain interests. Sometimes you can go to the movie genre he likes or dine at a cafe that has your spouse's favorite dessert. It is best to agree that each of you does not mind sometimes sacrificing something familiar.
15. Respect your loved one's friends, acquaintances and relatives... These are his own people and only he has the right to condemn them for something.

Myths about family happiness

Even in a happy family there may be some drawbacks, but they usually have to do with a personal attitude. Many people mistake other values ​​for peace and quiet at home. Let's consider the most popular myths:

• Some believe that happy relationship in the family fall from the sky. People think that two are just lucky and they are just compatible by horoscope, temperament or other silly details. But there are no absolutely perfect people and each has its own shortcomings and troubles. You build your own happiness.
• People think they're just not made for families.... For example, they do not have a relationship or they cannot conceive a child. One of the couple decides that such is their fate and loneliness. However, everyone can have difficulties, and well-being must be earned by one's own efforts.
• The opinion is also wrong about an incomplete family that cannot be happy.... Single parents raise their children well and love them for two. Even a lack of funds or the absence of a loved one cannot ruin a relationship where it is strong and sincere. A marriage without children is another matter, but it can also have its own reasons. There are people who live for themselves all their lives and are happy about this, because they initially discussed their desire. There are also those who cannot have a child, but love always helps them find a way out. Very often, with a sincere desire, miracles happen, and sometimes a couple makes a decision about adoption.
• Especially ridiculous is the myth of prosperity, without which it is impossible happy marriage ... Quite often, quarrels and conflicts occur in families where there is a lot of money. There, people could initially choose a partner not out of love, but out of self-interest. Yes, finances do matter these days, but they are not the foundation of everything. In a family where both partners love, each tries, and each sees the aspirations of the other.
• Also, people believe that in a happy family there are no difficulties and disagreements.... Everyone has similar things, but correct attitude exists only in a prosperous union. A quarrel is not only insulting and humiliating each other, but also expressing your thoughts and desires. Even a conflict can be quite peaceful.

In fact, there are a lot of similar myths and misconceptions. Sometimes people do not want to try and just change people, in the hope that they have got the wrong person, but the ideal half is already somewhere nearby. Many should understand that we ourselves are the smiths of our own happiness, because it is not for nothing that this expression has existed for so many centuries.