How to create a good family. How to create a happy family life

Family relationships acquire special significance today, when under the pressure of society, employer, life circumstances, it is so difficult for a person to find himself, to love and be loved. All people have a "built-in", "programmed" desire from birth to live in a family. The family is an absolute value, which is why it is so important to be able to build and preserve it correctly.

The importance of long-term relationships

If we accept as fact that all people living on the planet are like cells of a large organism, influencing each other, it becomes obvious that happy and unhappy families affect the happiness of other people. The same principle works here as the other, according to which our body is built: if at least one organ is sick, a person cannot be absolutely happy. To be healthy, he must maintain the health of all organs of his body. Likewise, the health of society and the family is impossible if at least one of their members is feeling unwell.

Long-term relationships are important to everyone involved. On the one hand, they help each partner to reveal best qualities... On the other hand, revealing his talents and virtues, a person turns into a "philosopher's stone", touching which turns everything into gold, that is, when interacting with it, other people begin to feel better and happier.

But long-term relationships are impossible if the people who are in them:

• communicate, hurting each other;
• many and unreasonably criticized;
• show jealousy;
• strive to control everything;
• condemn, offend and take offense themselves.

When people behave in this way, relationships are destroyed, destroying those who try to build them, causing pain and offending. Many people do the above things automatically, without noticing it - they are so used to it. While knowing how to say good words, praise, postpone a conversation that can hurt, take effort.

Therefore, in order for a relationship to last long, people must develop and learn to be softer, warmer and understand those they love. Family life is the work of two, but over time it takes less effort and more and more fruit.

Things to discuss before the wedding

Modern couples, when deciding to get married, are often gripped by dreams of what pleasure lies ahead of them and how marriage will make them happy by fulfilling desires and solving problems. But in order for a marriage to be successful, other, not so romantic things need to be considered before entering into it. To marry based only on feelings is very risky and shortsighted.

Each person acquires his own experience in the process of life. He looks at the family of his parents, at those families that surround him. On this basis, he builds in his head a picture of an ideal family, and then seeks to recreate it in reality. Rarely do the spouses compare their pictures of the ideal family, so it soon turns out that they, like in the fable about a swan, cancer and a pike, pull the family carriage in different directions.

If lovers want to live a meaningful life and be together for many years, and not just take a walk on beautiful wedding and to receive gifts, you need to ask each other questions. The Vedas recommend that you clarify the following before the wedding:

• coincidence or non-coincidence of ideas about spiritual practice and the need to perform it;
• desire to have children;
• who will play the role of the earner and whether the second spouse will work;
• a place where a young family will live and raise children in the future;
• how close the relationship with relatives is planned, as well as what are the relatives on both sides;
• views on parenting;
• coincidence of views on religion, as well as on what confession the intended children will be.

It is on these issues that most often there are differences of opinion among young spouses. The desire to have children for one of the lovers may meet with the reluctance of the second, relatives may seek to destroy a young family, and conflicts on religious grounds may erase the future of the couple. It is much better to discuss everything in advance and know exactly what kind of life awaits both spouses in marriage.

Forming a family is a very important step that can change the lives of at least two people, both for the better and for the worse.

Maintaining harmony in marriage

For marriage to allow a woman to be realized through femininity and a man through masculinity, their relationship must be based on harmony. If the spouses feel that they are not in their role, they are unlikely to be happy with each other, which will inevitably lead to conflicts and quarrels.

To prevent this from happening, you need to remember about the rules that allow you to keep the masculine principle in harmony with the feminine one:

1. You need to inspire your spouse to manifest the true nature. This means that each person in the family must fulfill their gender responsibilities. In order for the husband to be a leader in the family, to be responsible and to be the personification of masculinity, the wife must praise him for these qualities and inspire him to manifest them, asking for help and support. For a wife to be feminine, the husband must be able to create conditions for her to manifest this: to protect and protect, surround with love and be attentive.
2. Family responsibilities must be properly distributed. This means that a man should be a breadwinner, protector, leader, his task is to provide the family with material benefits, make important decisions and be responsible for them, take care of the comfort of each family member. The woman plays the role of the keeper of the hearth, therefore she is responsible for the comfort and beauty of the house, Tasty food, taking care of all household members.
3. In a family, everyone should feel unconditionally loved, which can only be obtained in a family. Neither friends, employer, nor society can offer such love to a person. Therefore, in marriage, people should give each other the right to make mistakes, remain patient and provide all the necessary support. In such conditions, the motivation to change for the better is the spiritual gratitude that a person feels in relation to people who love him.

Of course, spouses should always keep their hearts open for each other's love and teach the same to their children. It helps in knowing and accepting each other. Demonstrating love, supporting, saying tender words and by forgiving mistakes, people prolong their feelings and strengthen their marriage.

Who is more important: spouse or children

It is not uncommon for people to get married because they feel the need to have children. But children should not be an incentive to start or keep family life... Love for a spouse should be paramount, children are not at all the cornerstone and not the foundation on which marriage stands. It is safe to say that for a husband, the wife should be more important than the children, and for the wife - the husband.

The foundation of any relationship is two people, in a family they are spouses. It was thanks to the love that once arose between them that they subsequently gave birth to children. And in order for marriage to continue to bring joy and happiness to everyone even after the birth of children, spouses must guard its sacredness.

For this you need:

• explain to children that every day parents should have time to communicate only with each other;
• to show attention to a spouse not only as a father of children, but as a beloved husband, and to a spouse - not only as a mother of common children, but also as a beloved wife;
• maintain the same spiritual closeness and love that was at the beginning of the relationship;
• find common interests in addition to those related to raising children.

At some point, the young generation will grow up and begin to scatter from the parental nest. This moment usually turns out to be painful for all families, because then the spouses discover that they have forgotten how to communicate with each other, have lost common interests and have nothing else in common. To prevent this from happening, a husband and wife must not only take care of the growing children, but also remain sensitive and loving towards each other.

Why families fall apart

Despite the feelings that hold all marriages together at first, divorce is an increasingly frequent end. Statistical data based on research by Russian sociologists are depressing - up to 80% of families are falling apart. To prevent this from happening, you need to be able to properly build relationships within the “cell of society”.

First of all, the family is always the self-realization of each of its members. No one should put himself on the altar and sacrifice himself. When marriage is subordinated to the satisfaction of the needs of only one person, the second quickly gets bored and he prefers to divorce and find someone who will make him feel loved.

Getting married does not mean giving up your spiritual path or life aspirations. Love should not become a prison in which one of the lovers cannot develop as a person and personality. On the contrary, relationships should help people find themselves, understand their purpose and move towards their desires. To stay together for a long time, partners must learn to hear each other and take care of each other.

Divorce can also happen when a husband or wife has kept silent about their true needs and desires for many years and, as a result, do not receive their fulfillment. To prevent this from happening, you need to learn how to communicate with each other. Through communication, you can show your feelings, show love. If people stop sharing intimate and show care for each other, very soon feelings will disappear in everyday life.

The family needs to be built correctly, and then preserved. Only then will it be possible to avoid mistakes and crises that can lead to the destruction of feelings and marriage. To love means not only to live next to a person, but also to wish him the greatest happiness.

How, in spite of everything, to build a strong family? I think many have asked this question. This is for every man at the subconscious level. And whoever says anything, it is exactly so. All these messy connections and the ensuing consequences are not good. Yes, I certainly understand that this article contradicts the ideology of the site a little, and yet relationships are built in order to receive emotional satisfaction or create a family in the future.

A strong and happy family is the key to success!

It's not just family that matters. Each person has his own calling. It is very important, before trying to build family happiness, find a job you love, not lose friends and have at least some hobby. You cannot sacrifice yourself, your interests, thinking only about creating a family, about its well-being. After all, if you will not be happy and satisfied with life, your wife and children will not be happy.

Ask yourself the question: why do I want to create a strong family? This is very important! And let's be as frank as possible. You should start thinking about this question only when you are sexually satisfied. I want to warn you against the situation when, in front of my eyes, after trainings, guys fell in love with the first girl they came across with whom they had sex. And they thought that they had finally found their love. No it's not that! Initially, you should have a lot of girls to choose the one with whom you will develop further.

My point is that if you want your relationship to be built on something deeper, then the primary issues should already be resolved, and not be the foundation. Just as practice shows, relationships based on sex are very weak.

Some find their soul mate at work, at school or just on the street. You can walk the path civil marriages, long "meetings", but never create a strong family. Recently, in my practice, there was even a case when a guy met a girl at the wheel! It happens.

Your man

Recently, very often men get married early enough. At the same time, the chosen one herself may only be known for a couple of months. You must understand that in the first months of marriage, everything will not be easy anyway. And when you practically do not know a person, it is twice as difficult. After the honeymoon (if any) begins simple life with ordinary life. And here there are mutual claims, reproaches and misunderstandings.

Money issues, cleaning, cooking, work, car or computer - absolutely everything can become a reason for conflict. At this time, you get used to each other. And it is very important not to give up and not give up. Spouses can stop communicating, express dissatisfaction with each other, and go to complain to friends, relatives and acquaintances. So the problems will only appear more.

We create a strong family

Everyone has different characters, so your wife may be your complete opposite. Yes, it takes some getting used to, and it takes time. However, this difference can even be very useful. For example, something useful can be learned here in raising children. If you are more strict, and the wife is softer with children, then you will reach the golden mean. One parent can slow down the baby, and the other - give him freedom of action. It is very important that your children observe a picture of mutual respect, so all quarrels and conflicts are best resolved not with children. They should only see love and harmony.

Your wife should trust you, be faithful and loyal to you. However, you must give her confidence in yourself and tomorrow... There must be fidelity in a relationship, because she will not be able to trust you if she finds out about the betrayal. In such situations, often only the patience of the spouse does not destroy the family. By the way, read the book of American sexologist Chapman 5 Love Languages. And a lot will become clear to you!

When creating a family, you need to clearly understand about all the difficulties and difficulties that lie ahead of you and that need to be overcome. You need to be really ready for such responsibility. Well, in my opinion, the easiest way is

Everybody dreams of strong family - such that for life. However, the divorce statistics show that not everyone is able to create such a family.

To do this, you need to have strong character, be reasonable, smart and always remember that it is possible to destroy any union in a few minutes, but creating a new one is very difficult - it may take a lifetime.

How to create a strong family and what is needed for your relationship to be almost perfect and lasting?

1. Basic rule strong family – maintain love and respect for each other under any circumstances. Never allow yourself to break this rule. If you have chosen a life partner for yourself, it means that you treat him with anxiety, with understanding, respect and love.

2. Know how to quarrel. Do not even think that you will be able to avoid conflicts, no family can do without a showdown and quarrels. The main thing is to be able to put up correctly and draw conclusions. Let each other cool off and have a quiet conversation. Always assess the situation soberly. Indeed, in a fit of anger, you can say too much, and then it will be difficult to forget the harsh words said.

3. Learn to forgive. Can not be ideal men and ideal women, everyone in their life makes some mistakes. Therefore, if you want to keep the family, make it even stronger, then learn to understand and forgive.

4. Know how to close your eyes to flaws. Are you tired of the fact that your soul mate does not remove the dishes from the table, do you constantly tell how and where to put things? Think about what is more expensive for you - shouting and sorting out the relationship, or just cleaning and washing the dishes, putting things in their place? Learn to ignore some of your partner's flaws. Believe me, he also closes his eyes to many things. Be more forgiving.

5. Respect the family of your chosen one. Whatever your relationship with the relatives of your second half, always remember that these people raised and educated your love, they gave him a lot. The main advantage in the life of married couples is the ability to endure.

And if you want your Friendly family was also strong, then you need to work both on yourself and on your relationship. Learn to love, respect, understand and forgive your soul mate!

A strong family is a happy family.

What is a happy family like?

Firstly, this is a positive emotional background. That is, the spouses should feel the joy of communication and the desire to be together, they should be happy with each other and with themselves. And the inner feeling of complacency is very important here. After all, dissatisfaction with oneself has a detrimental effect on harmonious relationships.

In order for a positive emotional background to reign in the family, you clearly need to distribute responsibilities among yourself and fulfill them, as well as use factors such as recognition, encouragement, and respect for each other's values.

Secondly, follow the principle: "The husband is the head, and the wife is the neck!" Men have a more straightforward mindset. Therefore, clarity and straightforwardness are important for them. And a woman has a better developed intuition, she notices everything, sees everything, observes everything, and also feels many things. Therefore, a wife, who is always in the know, should be a neck in order to turn her head in the right direction in time.

Thirdly, do not forget that a happy family is not luck, not destiny, but painstaking, deep, constant work of two people. And it should be based on the following rules:

1. Belief in your soul mate

When you got married, you believed in what you chose the best man in the world? I think yes. Then try to carry this faith throughout your family life. If you start to doubt this, your happiness will begin to collapse.

2. Purity in conduct

This is not only the absence of physical betrayal, but also flirting. Here I would like to continue the previous rule. If the wife admits the thought that she would be happier with another man, then she subconsciously will look for this option in every man.

3. Understanding your calling and role in the family

Remember that a woman's strength lies in her ability to love. And to love means:
- respect;
- take care;
- look after;
- to read;
- listen;
- to be faithful;
- to inspire;
- satisfy;
- feed.
If a woman understands and accepts these components of the concept of "love" - ​​she is doomed to happiness.

4. Reason prevails over emotions

Do you know how to solve family issues without disputes, conflicts, reproaches, grievances, manipulations, disagreements, bickering, but with the help of affection, love and consent? If so, peace and quiet will always reign in your home. Remember that there are two things that make a man happy: when he is listened to and when he is respected. This means that he is loved.

5. Openness to husband

It is very important to learn to discuss your problems with your husband, and not with your girlfriends. This will strengthen and deepen the relationship. Dedicate your husband to everything that worries you, worries, pleases: thoughts, ideas, doubts, fears. And do not demand reciprocity from your other half, for a man it is a sign of weakness. He cannot tell everything that is in his heart.

6. Do not wash dirty linen in public

Do not tell your friends or relatives the details of your family life. Your family is your fortress, guard and protect it!

These are the simple answers to the question: “ How to create a strong family? ". If you have something to add, write in the comments.

The family is the foundation and, at the same time, the main problem modern society... It's no secret that up to 80% of marriages break up soon. The statistics are extremely unpleasant, but quite real. Read and watch videos on how to create and maintain a good, happy family.

It is unlikely that passion can be the key to a strong, stable family. The very definition of passion suggests that it is not normal. Its property is to pass quickly. It rises quickly in such large waves, bursts, and it passes just as quickly.
Passion is a disease, so it cannot be beneficial. Think about it - "crazy love". That is, love is crazy. We do not include reason. And marriage, paradoxically, is something of calculation.

In family psychology, there is such a thing as readiness for marriage. This is a whole complex of components, criteria that leads a person to the fact that he can create a family with this person. People sometimes get scared that getting ready for marriage is too difficult. But in fact, there should be a standard.

There is no need to be intimidated here. We just need to know what to strive for. This is in a series of conscientious approaches to marriage. If this is not the case, the person begins to move by touch, stumbles, and makes many mistakes.
What are these ingredients?

How to create a happy family

How to create a happy family

It is sympathy when you say "I like him (her)." Secondly, it is a community of interests, when we understand that we love the same music, we love to watch the same programs, read the same literature, go out into nature, and go kayaking. And the more of these components on the scales, the more attractive a person is to us.

Then there are deeper things that also need to be taken into account. It is necessary to look at the family, who the person's parents are. Most often, people project a parental scenario in the family. This is not to say that this is one hundred percent reproduction, but this is the template by which many act.

In addition, you need to look at family relationships, whether the family is complete, how a man communicates with his mother and father. If something does not work out in his relationship, see how he reacts to your comments, if he can be flexible and listen to your opinion.

You can also see if a person has many or few friends, find out if he thinks that we are self-sufficient and we are only good together. You can't concentrate on each other for a long time. It happens that he is jealous of his girlfriend of friends and tries to discourage everyone. Maybe he has communication problems. Then this is a serious reason to think. See if he is trying to isolate you, if he is jealous of friends.

Observe him and yourself as you communicate. How you behave when you are together, how quickly you are able to reconcile. This is a great rehearsal for your future serious relationship.

We must also pay attention to the state of health. A woman who was about 28-29 years old came to me. For her
it became a discovery after a year of marriage that her husband was not well. Time passed and she found out about his mental disorder. Says: "He was soft, compliant." I asked her to name the character traits that a man should have, she listed them in this order: he should be gentle, kind, compliant.

Why do people start a family

Why do people start a family

Can a woman feel protected when she gets married, knowingly incorrectly ranking a number of the main qualities of her chosen one? Unlikely. Women who prioritize such important qualities like: responsibility, courage, hard work, etc. are more likely to be close to the owner of such characteristics.

This means that the choice of a spouse was not conscious, and did not have a serious approach, because due attention was not paid to such serious factors as: the presence of good health and significant human qualities.
Good to stick friendly relations at least in the interval of one year. This will be a change of events, seasons (autumn and spring are the most acute periods for the nervous system).

During this time, all character traits can manifest or aggravate and mental disorders can emerge. The year is the defining term. During this period, you can collect information about each other. Find out if he wants children, how many he wants, who will wash the floors or the dishes ...

It is necessary to talk about everything! You always have to talk about problems. Questions should be posed to yourself and to the person with whom you have entered into a relationship. We can say that this is the most important period in your relationship. Then only the consequence of your choice will appear. And it is here that it is important not to misfire, not to blunder. It is necessary to assess the ability of both of you to fulfill all the functions of husband and wife in the family.

I want to create a friendly family

I want to create a friendly family

The family has several functions: reproductive (reproduction of children), economic (budget allocation), economic (everyone performs a functional duty: someone pays money for an apartment, someone vacuums).

That is, who takes what share of the family building. Construction is the seemingly shallow aspects of family life. In addition, the psychological function: they take care of each other, give warmth, understanding.
Another function is educational.

As a rule, men believe that this is the lot of the wife, her front of work. But the participation of the father is also necessary. Mom is sometimes hot-tempered when doing the same homework... Father's involvement is lacking ...
Creative function.

At the beginning of a relationship, while romanticism has not cooled down, they go to the movies, come up with activities. Then all this stops and becomes isolated at work and at home. Everything is boring, dull, monotonous. Leisure is also very important, to be able to spend time together. By the way, at the premarital stage of the relationship, you need to watch the behavior young man: how he behaves, whether he willingly pays for you.

I heard a story from one girl that it was February, and a young man took her along the boulevard, back and forth. She hints at donuts to him, and he offers to go home. You need to look closely at everything so that later it will be a surprise.

A woman functionally strives to ensure that everyone in the family is shod and dressed. She will pull from a man - give it, give it. And if he starts to argue, talk about female commercialism, if he is afraid of this, then you are not on the way.
Psychologist Irina Rakhimova

There is never too much happiness in family life. And even if life is adjusted, everything is fine in it, and it flows as usual, we are constantly trying to find some flaw in our relationship with our beloved woman. We torture ourselves with groundless suspicions and unfounded guesses. As a result, we come to mutual distrust. We stop understanding each other. If we are afraid to say out loud what gnaws at us deep inside, then over time, unvoiced thoughts turn into hidden grievances.

In order to create a strong family, you need to learn to think less only of your own needs, and more often to think about how your wife feels and what she wants. If there is no equivalent return on your part, your family will soon collapse, even though you will truly love each other dearly. Love is the main condition for creating strong, happy family... And this feeling can survive for many years, but it must be constantly nourished and cherished, like a beautiful and delicate flower that can wither if it is neglected. You cannot think that if one person loves another, then he can forgive him everything and do everything for him.

The feeling of love for each other is manifested, first of all, in the attention given to your partner. For any woman, this is of the utmost importance. Some women even live with men with whom they have never been in love, just because they feel constant sincere attention and care from them. Moreover, this is of great importance when it comes to the person they love. Be considerate with your wife, and remember to ask her about everyday little things, even if it seems unnecessary to you. For example, I constantly ask my wife about how she slept, although I slept next to me and know perfectly well what her answer will be. Being considerate of your wife is my first rule.

My second main rule, which I use in my relationship with my wife, is the ability to forgive the little missteps of my beloved. There are no ideal women on the globe, as well as men, by the way. Everyone is capable of making mistakes. Therefore, if you are a wise person and want your family union to be strong, you must learn to forgive. But this does not mean that you should resignedly endure everything and be silent in all conflict situations that arise. If a problem arises, you should discuss it with your wife, and if she did something wrong, as you would like it, try to understand the reasons for her actions. This is the main thing to understand and forgive.

And I also have one more important rule. You must constantly monitor your appearance... You can't turn into such a homely husband who doesn't care how he looks at home. Remember how you wanted to please your wife, when you were just courting her. Sometimes it can be very great importance, because if you suddenly become fat or too thin, this can alienate even a person who loves you from you. Try not to lose your former shape, which once attracted your beloved to you.