When the child is left alone at home. Home alone: should you leave your child alone at home? Is there a law prohibiting the release of children under a certain age on the street alone

Sooner or later, all parents face the question of at what age the child becomes old enough to be left alone at home.

Allow yourself to go to school, and return from it without a guide. The question is not easy, and in order to understand it correctly, we will try to consider the problem from several sides, since each family has different circumstances surrounding them.
For a more professional solution to this issue, we will enlist the support of specialists in the field of child psychology and consider some of their recommendations:
How old can you be left alone according to the law?
How do you know if you can leave your child alone at home?
How to instill independence
But first, let's find out what the law says and compare it with the laws of other countries.
FOR HOW MANY YEARS IT IS POSSIBLE TO LEAVE A CHILD ONE HOME BY LAW
In Russia, the legally adopted age limit for finding children alone at home begins at the age of 14. This is partly due to the lack of responsibility (at the age of 14 in Russia they receive a passport), and on the other hand, this can be seen as some sense from the point of view of child safety.
In Ukraine, there is a similar age limit, up to 14 years old must be supervised, but the authorities took a slightly different path, introducing a ban on finding the baby alone at the place of registration and at the place of actual location. That is, he can be at home alone from the age of 14, but somewhere on a visit - only from 16.
In this case, there is also a reason - it concerns both safety and the link to the age limit for being on the street in different districts (regions and other territorial units).
Belarus, in principle, follows the same criteria as Ukraine and Russia (the common past of the Soviet Union and the same system of pedagogy, preschool and school education are reflected here). Cannot be left unattended up to 14 years old (in cities), and in rural areas up to 12 years old.
European countries, which consider themselves the most civilized, allow children from 16 to be at home alone. True, in the UK age restrictions exist up to 15 years, and in small countries (Luxembourg, Liechtenstein) up to 14 years.
USA ... Everything here changes from state to state: the basis is a legislative act that clearly prescribes the prohibition to be alone at home if a teenager is less than 15 years old. In some states, the age is increased to 16-17. But they are treated in a special way in the state of Nevada, where those who have not reached the age of majority (in the United States are 21 years old), can not only be unattended at home, but also go outside after 21.00.
The countries of the East are strikingly different in this respect, because there comes the age of majority earlier, and traditions are honored, and the craving for independence is strong in Asians.
Let's take as an example:
Japan is equal to Europe, the age restrictions are the same (up to 14 years old), but traditionally boys are considered to be men from 12 years old, and women - girls from 11 years old;
India has the lowest age rates (from 8-10 years old, depending on the province). This is despite the fact that modern Indian society recognizes the marriage of 12-13 year old girls and boys.
HOW TO FIND OUT IS IT POSSIBLE TO LEAVE ALREADY ONE?
To understand whether your child has "matured" to some degree of independence, you can observe him for some time, finding out how he behaves in the following situations:
playing on his own, how often he tries to get your attention to himself;
whether he is looking for you when you are at the opposite end of the apartment, at home;
how it behaves if the door is closed in the room;
is he able, without prompts, to brush his teeth, clean up after himself in the kitchen, in the room, make the bed;
not afraid to fall asleep with the light off.
If, after your observations, you come to the conclusion that from the above, many points are far from perfect, then it’s time to simply instill them.
HOW TO IMPROVE SELF-SECURITY
Only an independent child can be left at home alone. Psychologists advise starting this process from 5-6 years old. If you missed this period and now you are faced with the question of what to do, the child is afraid to be at home without adults. Read the recommendations, and most importantly, try to implement them.
Gradually, do not immediately give the baby a little more freedom, do not follow every action. Leave him alone in the room, you yourself are in another - this will form in him the feeling that he is himself, but you are still somewhere nearby, not far from him. Let him serve himself during lunch, pour himself milk, cut bread, put porridge or soup on a plate, etc.
Define clear boundaries of behavior, that is, what can be done and what should not be done under any circumstances, such as playing with fire, power tools, communicating with strangers.
At the same time, teach him how to use the phone, basic cooking recipes, how to reheat food in the microwave. After making sure that the information is firmly assimilated and successfully applied in practice, decide on the main question: whether the child wants to stay.
Leave it on for short periods of time at first, and over time you will see that your child is already able to take care of himself.

The dearest Mary Poppins, entertaining children in the absence of parents, is the unattainable dream of many adults who have to puzzle over who to sit with their child during the holidays or in the evenings.

Leaving the child all alone in the late evening hours is not recommended until he is 12 years old. By nightfall, all children's fears intensify, therefore, 5 hours spent alone in the morning, and the same period during which the child waits for parents in the evening, require completely different nervous costs.

Of course, you can refer to our childhood with a key around our neck or to 6-year-old workers in English manufactories of the 18th century. However, if we consider the independence of the child from the point of view of upbringing, we cannot but worry at what cost it is achieved. Therefore, when interviewing friends, relatives, psychologists and educators about your child's independent stay at home, do not forget to ask his opinion on this issue.

What are parents afraid of?

Since adults, knowing the creative nature of their child, do not undertake to predict what he will come up with in the next minute, their fears are in the nature of universal catastrophes.

Fires and floods. Playing boats with the tap open or experimenting with the stove on can certainly lead to tragic consequences. Therefore, before leaving your child at home alone, you need to make sure that he has formed strong stereotypes of safe behavior. For example, if he regularly forgets to turn off the water after washing, the likelihood of a flood in your absence is very high. It is important to take special time to practice good habits to keep the risk to a minimum.

Injury and poisoning. As a rule, they occur in situations when a child, proud of his independence, decides to be even more adult and tries to get something from the mezzanine or take medicine in case of feeling unwell. It is necessary to agree with your son or daughter that without you they will not do what they have never done before. Ask every time the child is visited by another brilliant idea, be sure to ask yourself the question: "What would mom say?"

Attackers. Oddly enough, but many adults fear thieves and kidnappers no less than their children. However, unlike a child, parents can weigh all the facts gleaned from a criminal chronicle and determine the safest time for his independent stay in the apartment. It is best to schedule activities on weekend mornings or weekdays from 4 pm to 8 pm, when most of the neighbors are at home.

What are children afraid of?

To leave a child alone at home for a while, his consent is required. But children often refuse to be alone with themselves because of fears.

Darkness. Our geographic location, due to which most of the year dawns late and darkens early, gives rise to a fear of the dark, not only among children, but also among adults. However, if the latter are able to control their emotions, then it is extremely difficult for children to deal with the panic that overwhelms them. As a result, the child can sit for several hours in a row without touching toys or lessons. The light turned on throughout the apartment does not save you from fear, because it is still dark outside the window, and the child feels like a hostage in a besieged fortress. In order to help a son or daughter befriend the darkness, you need to think from a child's point of view. For example, tell him that not only mysterious dangers are invisible in the dark, but he himself. Therefore, at any moment the child can hide in the dark, and she will not give him away. Or buy him a play spy kit with a toy device. As for zombies and dementors, the authors of books and films simply invent them, having no other opportunity to earn their living. As proof of your words, show your child a video on the work of make-up artists who turn cute and smiling actors into monsters.

Parents won't come. This is an absolutely irrational fear, with which it is possible to fight, only endlessly repeating: "I love you and will definitely come back, no matter what happens!"

The question of when a child can be left alone at home sooner or later arises before all parents. Is it possible, for example, to run to the store for 10-15 minutes? Many will say: it all depends on the situation, on the child, how ready he is, how confident you are that everything will be all right.

But more and more often I meet acquaintances whose children are the same age as my seven-year-old son:

And where is Danya?

At home, why drag him here, I'm here for 10 minutes. He has been staying for half a year now, if I am not for long.

I often ask my friends: Aren't you afraid to leave? Can he call you? But what if you didn't return on time (delayed, got stuck in a traffic jam, sat down on a mobile, got stuck in an elevator, had enough "kondraty")?

In response, I get the usual:

Well, you come up with it. It's easier not to give birth to children at all.

I decided to "google" different countries... Russian-language sources say that “in most European countries it is impossible to leave a child alone at home until he is twelve years old, and in some states of America - up to fourteen years old, but upon detailed study, this turned out to be not entirely true.

1. USA. Each state has its own laws on the age at which a child can stay at home.

Some states have clearly defined restrictions: in the state of Arizona, a child can be left alone from the age of 10, in Maryland from the age of 18, and in several other states from the age of 14.

In general, US law considers the issue of a child's loneliness at home from different angles:

The parent will be held liable if the child is left unsafe or not fed or dressed properly. What exactly means "unsafe conditions", "not fed", "not dressed" - at the discretion of the court.

In the event of an accident, the parents can be found guilty if the court considers that the situation in which the child is left alone is not completely safe. The court takes into account the child's age and other circumstances.

For fire safety reasons, it is forbidden to leave a child under 8 years old alone in a closed room locked. A residential building belongs to this type of premises.

2. Canada. The laws of this country are more specific than in the United States. In most states, it is illegal to leave one child under the age of 10 at home. After 10 years and up to 16, the child can be left on for no more than 2 hours. In order to leave the child for more than 2 hours, there must be a good reason and such safety actions as: notifying neighbors, periodic calls home, providing food and drink.

4. Australia. There is no age limit here. In the event of trouble or an accident, the court will decide how correct the decision was to leave the child alone. There are many guidelines of a recommendatory nature. Parents are not required to comply with them, but in case of problems, their behavior will be considered as erroneous.

6. France. The law in France states that a parent is responsible for ensuring that a child under 15 is completely safe. There is no clear time frame for how long a child can be at home alone.

7. Russia. In Russian legislative practice, there are no clear age boundaries when a child can be left alone. There are several laws restricting the presence of children in public places, but they all regulate the independent stay of a child on the street, the question of staying at home is entirely in the sphere of personal preferences of the parents.

It turns out that in many countries, like in Russia, there is no specific age until which a parent cannot leave a child alone at home. And everything really comes down to the parent's vision of this issue.

How to understand if a child is ready to be left alone?

Take the test. If you answer “NO” more than 2 times, the child should not be left alone.

Sooner or later, the parents will be faced with the question of when to start bringing up independence in the child, and leaving him alone at home unattended. Allow yourself to go to school, and return from it without a guide. The question is not easy, and in order to understand it correctly, we will try to consider the problem from several sides, since each family has different circumstances surrounding them.

For a more professional solution to this issue, we will enlist the support of specialists in the field of child psychology and consider some of their recommendations:

But first, let's find out what the law says and compare it with the laws of other countries.

From what age can you leave a child alone at home according to the law

In Russia, the legally adopted age limit for finding children alone at home begins at the age of 14. This is partly due to the lack of responsibility (at the age of 14 they receive a passport in Russia), and on the other hand, this can make some sense from the point of view of child safety.

In Ukraine, there is a similar age limit, up to 14 years old must be supervised, but the authorities took a slightly different path, introducing a ban on finding the baby alone at the place of registration and at the place of actual location. That is, he can be at home alone from the age of 14, but somewhere on a visit - only from 16.

In this case, there is also a reason - it concerns both safety and the link to the age limit for being on the street in different districts (regions and other territorial units).

Belarus, in principle, follows the same criteria as Ukraine and Russia (the common past of the Soviet Union and the same system of pedagogy, preschool and school education are reflected here). Cannot be left unattended up to 14 years old (in cities), and in rural areas up to 12 years old.

European countries, which consider themselves the most civilized, allow children from 16 to be at home alone. True, in the UK age restrictions exist up to 15 years, and in small countries (Luxembourg, Liechtenstein) up to 14 years.

USA ... Everything here changes from state to state: the basis is a legislative act that clearly prescribes the prohibition to be alone at home if a teenager is less than 15 years old. In some states, the age has been increased to 16-17. But they are treated in a special way in the state of Nevada, where those who have not reached the age of majority (in the United States are 21 years old) cannot not only be unattended at home, but also go outside after 21.00.

The countries of the East are strikingly different in this respect, because there comes the age of majority earlier, and traditions are honored, and there is a strong craving for independence in Asians. Let's take as an example:

Japan is equal to Europe, the age restrictions are the same (up to 14 years old), but traditionally boys are considered to be men from 12 years old, and women - girls from 11 years old;
India has the lowest age rates (from 8-10 years old, depending on the province). This is despite the fact that modern Indian society recognizes the marriage of 12-13 year old girls and boys.

How do you know if you can already leave one?

To understand whether your child has "matured" to some degree of independence, you can observe him for some time, finding out how he behaves in the following situations:

playing on his own, how often he tries to get your attention to himself;
whether he is looking for you when you are at the opposite end of the apartment, at home;
how it behaves if the door is closed in the room;
is he able, without prompts, to brush his teeth, clean up after himself in the kitchen, in the room, make the bed;
not afraid to fall asleep with the light off.

If, after your observations, you come to the conclusion that from the above, many points are far from perfect, then it’s time to simply instill them.

How to instill independence

Only an independent child can be left at home alone. Psychologists advise starting this process from 5-6 years old. If you missed this period and now you are faced with the question of what to do, the child is afraid to be at home without adults. Read the recommendations, and most importantly, try to implement them.

Gradually, do not immediately give the baby a little more freedom, do not follow every action. Leave him alone in the room, you yourself are in another - this will form in him the feeling that he is himself, but you are still somewhere nearby, not far from him. Let him serve himself during lunch, pour himself milk, cut bread, put porridge or soup on a plate, etc.

Define clear boundaries of behavior, that is, what can be done and what should not be done under any circumstances, such as playing with fire, power tools, communicating with strangers.

At the same time, teach him how to use the phone, basic cooking recipes, how to reheat food in the microwave. Having made sure that the information is firmly assimilated and successfully applied in practice, decide on the main question: whether the child wants to stay.

Leave it on for short periods of time at first, and over time you will see that your child is already able to take care of himself.

Teaching children to be independent is an important aspect of parenting. At the same time, independence is not only about making a bed or brushing your teeth. This also includes the ability to leave the child at home alone for a while.

Sooner or later, a situation arises when it is necessary to leave the apartment for a while, leaving the baby alone. But most prudent parents worry about this.

And this is correct, because it is not known how the child will behave, and what can happen in the absence of parents. Mom must be completely sure that the baby is ready. But even in this case, you must first prepare him psychologically and instruct him.

How to know if a child is ready to be alone

There is no specific age when a baby can be left alone in an apartment. In some countries, it is completely forbidden to do this until the child is 10-12 years old. In any case, all responsibility for emergencies falls on the parents. Therefore, before leaving the apartment, you should make sure that the baby is really ready to be alone for a while.

The child is ready to stay at home alone if the following questions can be answered in the affirmative:

can call one of the parents, call 112 and describe the situation;
can play without the help of parents for at least an hour;
has no fear;
clearly knows and follows the daily routine;
strictly obeys parents and does not use prohibited items.

If all this can be said about the baby, it is worth trying to leave him alone at home. But it is important to understand that you should not leave a child under the age of 5-6 years. You must first tell the child how he should act in case of dangerous situations.

Home security

Of course, it is difficult to foresee all the emergencies that can happen in the absence of parents. But still, it is necessary to convey to the baby the basic rules that he must adhere to. If the child clearly knows how to act in a given situation, it can sometimes even save him. After all, there are more and more terrible tragedies when the children are at home alone. The kid should know how to behave if something unexpected happens.

Fire

In the event of a fire, the baby will almost certainly panic. In this state, it is very difficult for him to understand how to act. Most likely, the baby will remain in the room, so it is very important to give a clear plan of action.

A child left alone in an apartment must have a connection with the outside world - telephone, skype, internet. In each case, it is necessary to teach him how to use the benefits of civilization. Today, in the age of gadgets, even four-year-olds know what to do with their phones and laptops.

It is necessary to convey to the kid that in the event of a fire, he must dial 112 and report the situation. You should also immediately leave the apartment using the stairs. The kid will have to knock on the neighboring apartments, where adults can help him and take control of the situation. It is best if a poster with the emergency number hangs in a conspicuous place, so that the baby immediately remembers the instructions of the mother.

Window

This is especially true if the apartment is located on the upper floors. Most homes have plastic double-glazed windows that are easy to open and maximize space. How to know how the baby will behave. It is quite possible that he will want to see how a paper airplane is planning from a great height and substitute a chair to the window. One wrong move and the baby will fly down.

Therefore, it is extremely important to secure the windows. They must be tightly closed. In addition, it is worth purchasing special devices for each window - protection from children. Now on sale there are many varieties of such blockers. This will eliminate the threat of falling out of the window.

Door

The child can be left at home, giving him the opportunity to get out of the apartment on his own. However, at the same time, the baby must understand that to open the door to strangers absolutely not.

He must learn one more rule: it is also forbidden to say that parents are not at home. Better to say that mom is asleep and cannot come right now, or she went for a walk with the dog. You can only open it to very familiar people.

If stranger persistently continues to call, not intending to leave, the kid must use the help of the police. You need to call your mom and the 112 service for the competent authorities to take action.

The child should know all these actions even if it is not planned to leave him alone at home. This is a natural measure, a part of upbringing that parents are obliged to give.

Psychological comfort

A very important component of independence. You can leave your baby alone at home only if he wants to. It is important to talk with your child on this topic, to find out his opinion in advance.

If it turns out that he has phobias, for example, he is afraid of the dark or monsters under the bed, absolutely should not be left alone. This will hit the psyche, and in the future there will be no opportunity to leave the apartment for a very long time.

Even if the baby agrees to be left alone, this does not mean that he will not start to panic in the absence of his parents. All the rules fly out of the head, the baby will be tense all the time. To avoid this, you should remind him as often as possible that mom will be leaving for a couple of hours soon. This will help prepare the baby mentally and give him the opportunity to understand the state of affairs.

If it becomes necessary to leave the apartment for a while, you must follow some recommendations:

Teach your kid to tell the time. Show the child on the dial of the estimated time of the mother's return home. So it will be easier for him to come to terms with her absence.
Come up with an occupation. Now it's easy, you can give your kid a phone with an exciting game, turn on cartoons, give a TV remote control, show how to use a laptop.
Leave the kid with the keys to the apartment or ask him to close the latch. A locked apartment and the inability to get out can lead to very sad consequences.