Children and their wild imagination. Ghosts or imaginations? What are the disadvantages of violent imagination? Wild fantasy

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The purpose of the lesson: learn about fantasy as one of the reasons for pessimism.
Keywords: fantasy, psychologist, unhappy love.

What is the problem?
Some believe that fantasy is always a positive quality and that its owners are real lucky ones. Others are sure: fantasy often gives rise to delusion and instills pessimism.

Which position is closer to you? First or second?
And your parents? First or second?
And your friends? First or second?
And to strangers? First or second?

Food for thought:

Human fantasy is limitless. And this, unfortunately, is not always good. One dialogue, based on the same question, sounded in several forums at once.

Let's start without any prefaces - why are they needed in such and such a topic? Such a dialogue may well take place at a given second in different parts of the world in several psychologist's offices at once.

I really, really like one guy. We rarely see each other and only briefly. And he doesn't know about my feelings.
- So you never even spoke?
- This is true.
- Then why do you like him?
- He is handsome, charming, smart, funny.
- Stop. How did you conclude that he is charming, smart and funny if you only see him briefly?
- I do not know. I think so.
- That is, just because you like him, you made a conclusion about his inner qualities?
- No, but I see how he communicates with other girls. They laugh at his jokes, and his smile ...
- Do you SEE how he communicates, and make a conclusion about his intelligence?
- It turns out, yes.
- Interesting. And what do you think will happen if you are together?
- We will go to the cinema, eat ice cream, he will accompany me home.
- What if he doesn't like movies or ice cream and doesn't want to accompany you home?
- Let's think of something else.
- For example?
- Well I do not know…
- Right. Do not know. Because you don't know him. Not a bit. You like the picture, not the person. You like this guy like a sculpture, a photo of a superstar, like a thing. Want to guess? You probably already figured everything out: how you will walk together, how you will kiss, how he will treat you, how you will look beautiful next to each other, and how you will be happy.
- Something like that.
- In other words, you don't like this guy, but what you came up with with his participation?
- It turns out that yes. So what can you do?
- First, stop inventing and just get to know each other! It may well turn out that you did not come up with all this in vain and everything will happen just like that, or maybe not. Who knows.

Only one thing can be added to the conclusions from this dialogue: we are all dreamers, not only the heroine of this dialogue. We always come up with something: goals, activities and problems! Much of what we consider to be our problems - we just invented for ourselves! Conflicts - we come up with. After all, one has only to try to understand the other and just smile at him, believe me, there will be NO conflict. Lack of work - we invent, there is no such thing that there is no work, there is only a lack of salary for our own stormy activities. By the way, they also came up with money. True, we are not our ancestors, but they, too, are notions. Unhappy love is also a notion. If you love, then you are happy, then there is a person in the world who is not indifferent to you, and this in itself is wonderful. Love is the sun in us, our inspiration, and to wish that the beloved was near and the point is our invented selfish nymphomaniac desire. And if you do without fancy? How will we see our life? And yourself?

Something like this: I have no job - great, I have a lot of free time; oh, what have I done - it looks like life is becoming more interesting; a guy dumped me - great, there are so many interesting people; I have no money - cool, finally I will learn not to depend on them. Etc. Isn't it fun?

Tancho Ivansa
(adapted)

Small children are incredibly amazing. Every kid is the owner of endless imagination. They are able to build a spaceship from stools and boxes, and sometimes compose "musical masterpieces" and perform them on a broom-guitar. And every young child has imaginary friends: characters from a favorite cartoon, some kind of animal or a mysterious acquaintance who lives in the closet.

Adults have long forgotten that when they themselves were little they were also friends with mysterious creatures. But, sometimes there are cases that simply do not fit in my head. We continue the topic.

Scary story from life. Says an eyewitness to Alexander

This terrible story happened in 2007. I lived with my five-year-old daughter Anechka and a Labrador named Baron. Once the Baron disappeared. We were looking for a dog in the entire entrance, in the area we posted ads. But they never found it.

Six months have passed, I have long forgotten about the Baron. It was an ordinary November evening. When Anechka went to bed, she told me the following: “Mom, do you know that the Baron was killed! And now he lies in the ground. Uncle alone told me that. " I started asking the child what kind of uncle he was and when she talked to him, thinking about maniacs and pedophiles. And she answers me: "And I talk to him every night, he comes from the wall."

I became so scared that I could not stay at home, I packed up some things, and went to spend the night at best friend Lenka, fortunately she lives alone. We put Anya to bed and settled ourselves in the kitchen. They began to decide what to do, to take the girl to a psychiatrist or to light up the apartment. And suddenly from the room we heard a quiet whisper. We quietly crept up to the door and hear the baby talking to someone, however, we could not make out the words. We abruptly opened the door, and Anya immediately dived under the covers, saying: “You scared him. Uncle is gone. "

The next day, I went with my daughter to a psychologist, who said that nothing terrible had happened, they say, all these are children's fantasies. Fortunately, this never happened to my daughter. Nevertheless, I remember those times with horror.

Ask a psychologist

Hello. I am 20 years old, but I still go into the world of my fantasies. In the sense that I invent in my head different worlds, characters, etc. I always go to my fairy tales as soon as I am alone, or I start it's all to put on paper. Of course, the fictional world is better, but I don't want to leave the real one. Sometimes my vivid imagination even interferes with me. It seems to be nothing serious, but from time to time it seems to me that this is not normal, as if I haven’t come out yet from deep childhood. Friends and family do not notice this, and if anyone does, then I say that I was just thinking. In general, I always live in some kind of fictional world. Could you tell me if this is normal? Or me is it worth pacifying your puffy imagination and putting things in order in your head?

Psychologists' Answers

Alice, good morning!

You also have a fantastic name - "Alice in Wonderland"

The fact that you have a rich imagination is wonderful. so that it does not bother you, you should learn to use this state for the benefit of yourself! For example, when you are upset or upset about something, find support not only from loved ones, but also in your fantasy world! Take an example from your fictional characters - "How to achieve goals", how to react to ... "or something else, that is, when through them you will have a conversation with yourself!

Alice, realize yourself in the real world, have fun with the present, and purposefully return to your fantasies as needed!

Have a wonderful day!

Pershukova Yulia Ivanovna, psychologist Syktyvkar

Alice, in fantasy, they "leave" when something does not suit them in real life.

It is advisable to realize this and try to change ...
To do this, it is advisable to turn to yourself - to your feelings, thoughts and, most importantly, desires, to figure out what you want for yourself - for your body, appearance, health, for your activities, career, finances, for your contacts - with yourself and others, for relationships with the opposite sex, for communicating with their family, friends and relatives, for their plans, goals, meanings, faith, etc.

There will be difficulties, contact me, I work on Skype and in the format of online correspondence.
And I can help you on an individual basis.

From SW. Kiselevskaya Svetlana, psychologist, master (Dnepropetrovsk).

Hello Alice. In positive psychotherapy, fantasies are one of the ways of experiencing a problem situation. In fact, their 4 main ways, in addition to fantasy, there are also activities (professional, educational, etc.), contacts (communication) and the body (psychosomatics. For each person in difficult moments, these methods can be equivalent, but for some For reasons one can gain a foothold (for example, escape into illness), then the rest begin to degrade. Escape in fantasy is opposed by action, and if you feel that you are beginning to take you away from the real world, start acting.

There is a lot of good in fantasies, because they can move us into the future.

Best regards, Grandilevskaya Anna Borisovna, psychologist St. Petersburg

Here, and this is the guest room, make yourself comfortable! Feliciano smiled.

Today, since the morning, the house in Italy is restless. They came to visit him Dear friends- Ludwig and Kiku. And now Vargas has finished showing the rooms to his guests.

And here it is quite spacious ... - remarked Germany. - And even two beds.
- Well, that's why she's a guest. - Italy explained.

Japan was examining the bedroom and suddenly shuddered. Feliciano noticed this and asked:
- Is there something wrong, Japan?
- I beg your pardon, but I just remembered that I forgot something important. I'll be back soon.

As soon as Kiku left, Italy ran to the beds, took off his shoes, and climbed onto one of them. Ludwig looked at him with some bewilderment.
- Italy? What are you doing?
- Germany, it’s so soft here, I couldn’t resist! - He stood on it for a couple of seconds and began to jump. Now Beilschmidt looked at him with undisguised surprise.
- Are you serious? Japan will be back soon, stop ...
- You have to try it! Vargas interrupted him happily. - Get on the other!

Ludwig hesitated for a while, but, looking at the cheerful face of the Italian, could not stand it and, taking off his shoes, climbed onto the next bed. I tried to jump ...

Honda calmly walked back to the room. As he approached her, he heard sounds like the creaks of a bed. Carefully approaching the closed door, the Japanese was about to enter, when suddenly ...
- Ah, Ludwig, I ... can't take it anymore ...
“You wanted it yourself. I can see you like it.
- Yes ... I like it ... Phew.
- Raise your legs higher! It will be more convenient this way.

Kiku could not believe his ears, but he was also afraid to enter the room. He didn’t notice how he blushed. All these words and creaks completely confused him.
“This is not what I think. No. Not that…"

The Japanese went down to the living room to wait for his friends there.
After dinner, the trio decided to sit in the living room. Ludwig was reading a book, Feliciano sat next to him and watched TV. Honda was going to bring the sushi that he brought with him.

Ay! I got something in my eye. ”Vargas blinked quickly. - Germany, help me! - Italy turned to face Beilschmidt. He sighed and leaned over to the guy.

At this time, Japan entered the living room and headed for the sofa. When Kiku almost reached, an amusing picture appeared before his eyes: his allies were passionately kissing.

The guy's hands almost dropped the gift, but Honda was able to control himself and did not let this happen. The Japanese tried to convince himself that he imagined it from fatigue.

While Kiku pondered, everything returned to its place, the friends calmly went about their business. Overpowered himself, he nevertheless sat down next to them, not forgetting to offer a treat.

Towards evening, Italy decided to take a shower. Feliciano was very glad that his friends came to visit him.

Walking into the bathroom, Vargas replayed the events of the day in his head. He found Japan's behavior unusual.

“Probably just worried about something” - with such thoughts the guy entered the room.

Singing a light, memorable tune, Italy slowly undressed and took a shower.

Finished with the water treatments, Feliciano reached for the spot where he thought the towel should be. Having rummaged around with his hand, he did not find it there.

Without thinking twice, the guy called Ludwig, leaning slightly out of the door. Hearing his hurried footsteps, Vargas ducked back. Half a minute later, Germany stopped by Feliciano.

At this time, Japan was walking past the bathroom into the living room.
- Ah, why did you come in completely, Ludwig? I am ashamed…
- Ashamed? You asked me to do it yourself.

When Kiku heard these words, various thoughts immediately flashed through his head. Feverishly wondering what it might be, he quickly ran into the bedroom.

The supper was calm. It turned out that Italy sat down next to Germany, and Japan sat opposite them. He furtively glanced at his friends, in order to understand at least a little what was happening between them. The guys acted as usual, and Honda again thought that his imagination was too much.

After dinner, Kiku decided to go to his room and read something. Entering the room, Honda found that he had left the necessary book downstairs in the living room. The way there was through the kitchen. Japan calmly descended the stairs.

Italia sat on his knees in front of the oven, preparing to clean the door. Ludwig waited for the kettle to boil. He sat at the table and read the newspaper.

The kettle had boiled by the time the cleaning was done. Feliciano straightened up and turned it off.

Germany, the kettle is boiling! - he informed the German.
- Yes, now. - He, putting down the newspaper, got up. But, not having time to take a couple of steps, he stumbled over a chair and flew forward.

Vargas was about to catch Ludwig, but could not and they fell to the floor.
- How did you manage? Italy gently ran a hand through his hair. - How are you? Do you hear me? - There was no answer.

Japan has already reached the kitchen. He noticed that the door was open there and the light was still on. Out of curiosity, Kiku carefully peered into the room and saw the following. Italy was on the floor. He smiled and stroked Germany on the head.

In surprise, Honda even blinked several times, trying to drive away the vision, but failed. Finally convinced of their relationship, the Japanese hastily headed into the living room.

At breakfast the friends were together again. Japan still hesitated to ask Germany where the big bruise on his forehead came from. But still, he told them one thing.

Germany, Italy, were you not ashamed to do this yesterday?
- What are you talking about, Japan? What were we doing? Ludwig asked in surprise. In response, Kiku looked silently and reproachfully.
- We didn't do anything like that, we just spent time together. - Feliciano answered him imperturbably. - And also ...
- I ... I did not expect this from you! - Kiku interrupted him worriedly. Without saying anything else, he quickly left the kitchen. Friends had no choice but to look after the Japanese in confusion.