How to choose a person for a family. How to choose the right husband and not be mistaken. Do not forget about yourself

How to choose a man? Do the right things with the right men.

A woman's happiness is in her own hands and the strength of her relationship with men fully depends only on herself. In early youth, everyone thinks that in family life, the most important and necessary thing is love. But in reality, this is not entirely true. A woman must find her man who suits her well in terms of her values, life goals and other noticeable criteria. Of course, you can't get married without love either, but when meeting a man, first of all, you need to pay attention to how he behaves and what he says.

How to recognize your man? How not to make the biggest mistake in your life and not regret it for the rest of your days? To do this, you need to observe the representatives of the strong half of humanity and draw appropriate conclusions. The following three criteria play a decisive role in choosing a life partner.

First, what you should pay attention to before starting a serious relationship are the words coming from the mouth of your chosen one. How and what a man says depends on how your relationship will develop, how long it will last and what difficulties you need to be prepared for - you must admit that no relationship is possible without them, no matter how unearthly love is and what harmony is between man and woman did not reign. If a man says that he does not want a serious relationship, then you should not expect more from him. But what usually happens in real life? A girl or woman in love begins to try with all her might to change the decision of her object of adoration. Well, in vain, because if a man has decided, then he will never change his mind, of course, if he himself does not want it.

The money issue is also not in the last place. If you have dreamed of marrying a millionaire since childhood, then the saying "With a sweetheart and in a hut, paradise" is not suitable for you. Therefore, when you choose a man for a serious relationship, try to find out how ambitious he is. His words will come to the rescue. He may, imperceptibly to himself, blurt out that he is not capable of running a business on his own or that he is afraid of the forthcoming responsibility of a high position. This really means only one thing, my dears: if you connect your fate with this man, then, most likely, your level of life will not be able to rise above average. Words are better than nothing. From them you can find out what his goals in life are. Even if these are just words, if a man speaks, it means that he has a desire and he will try to achieve something. Listen carefully to your man and you can learn a lot about him. For freedom-loving women, the ideal option would be a man who says he doesn't want to get married. This does not mean that he wants to remain single all his life. It will take 5-6 years, and he will offer his hand and heart to some woman, possibly the one who in the past was afraid of family life, like death. While a man is ripe for marriage, his woman will be able to build a career and work up a lot.

There is also such a thing as a man said - a man did. But this phrase is suitable for describing only real men who always keep their promises. And there are representatives of the strong half of humanity, whose words do not mean anything. They, like talented storytellers, will tell all women in a row beautiful stories about themselves, promise mountains of gold, and zero results. These male storytellers have such a charm and super self-confidence that they are able to convince anyone of the plausibility of their words, it is simply impossible not to believe their words, and, being deceived once, her listeners believe his tales many, many times. This is very surprising, but an indisputable fact.

Second, what requires the attention of women from representatives of the strong half of humanity is not just words, but actions. "What?" - curious people will ask. Yes, any. All the same, they will talk about the man, and in his favor or to the detriment, it depends only on him.

How should a man in love behave? Probably, many representatives of the beautiful half of humanity will say that he should give gifts, flowers, shower his darling with beautiful compliments, take his muse to cafes and restaurants. But, alas, this is not the most suitable behavior for a man in love, but, most likely, the result of many years of communication with a large number of women, studying their needs and desires. If your new friend behaves in this way, then do not rush to trust him completely, because only physiological intentions can be hidden behind his seemingly cute actions.

If a man is truly and seriously in love, then his constant calls, his eagerness to help you and his other active actions in relation to you will tell about his feelings. For example, he will introduce you to his friends, relatives and parents, he will try to take you deeper into his life: talk about his work, interests, invite him to visit him, and he himself will most likely be asking for a cup of tea at your home.

But it is worth repeating that you will not be full of love alone, and when choosing a companion for your life, you should take a closer look at his ability to make money. How does he work? If a man loves to walk with friends and this does not have a positive effect on his career, and you need a man who is wealthy and reliable in material terms, then such an applicant will have to be excluded from the list of your potential husbands.

But do not forget that true careerists are almost always busy with their favorite work and they do not always have time for love and relationships. If you do not consider yourself to be a patient woman, then this type of man is clearly not for you. In addition, the rich representatives of the strong half of humanity do not differ in particular generosity, but, on the contrary, they like to save money and demand the same from their chosen ones. Not everything is as simple as it seems, alas. Sometimes you have to make a choice: either you live richly, but lack attention, or you build happiness with a poor but caring man. Every woman has her own ideal of a happy life, you just need to decide what is important for you and what is secondary.

Third criterion, according to which you need to choose a man of your whole life - these are life values ​​and views. This is not about character, because they certainly have to come up when it comes to family relationships. Someone needs a calm and docile man, while someone, on the contrary, is irritated by this type of the stronger sex to the point of impossibility, and such women are looking for a bold and decisive partner. But that is another story. Let's return to the attitudes and values ​​that play a decisive role in family relationships.

Each person is brought up in a family and certain views are instilled in him there, values ​​are formed in him. Having matured, a person meets his love and marries. But in marriage, troubles and annoying factors begin to haunt him. And everything happens due to a mismatch of views. For example, a wife wants to raise her little son in love and tenderness, and his husband does not mind slapping the boy on a soft spot for his bad behavior. It would seem that this is an ordinary life situation, but due to the fact that the principles of both sides are already ingrained family values ​​that were instilled in them in childhood, it turns into a family tragedy, which can lead to very deplorable results, for example, to divorce.

The situation can be resolved only by finding a compromise, otherwise there is no other way. If you can't find a compromise, then there are two ways to solve this unpleasant situation. In the first case, a woman must adjust to the views and values ​​of her beloved man. After all, the fair sex, when in love, are capable of any deeds, sometimes even the most insane. But this one should not become madness, but should become a conscious choice to achieve family happiness and mutual harmony in the hearth. There are such interesting stories in life that women married foreigners and found their happiness there. After all, this is not only overcoming differences in views, but also in traditions and customs, which is much more difficult. Feminine tenderness and wisdom is enough for everything, so why don't you try to change your views for the good of your family ?!

The second way to solve the problem is in the hands of a man. This means that a man must reconsider his views, correct some of them, and change some altogether. In this regard, men have a hard time, because they are accustomed to always consider themselves to be right. But, fortunately, not all are like that and you can work on them.

Relationships are not only the result of mutual feelings, it is also painstaking work on yourself, on your shortcomings and habits. Indeed, in order to meet and fall in love with a worthy man, first of all, you yourself need to be at least a little ideal. Otherwise, you will have to be content with those who won, and not always the best ones get.

The right man knows for sure that a pipe cutter for used steel pipes can be bought in an online store, he certainly will not get confused in choosing among a large number of offers and knows exactly which product is better and more practical.

It only seems that a man-hunter chooses a woman, achieves her, marries, and she dutifully agrees to all his conditions and follows him in step through life. During courtship, an intelligent woman carefully evaluates the actions of her man, weighing the negative and positive traits, and by this criterion begins to understand whether he will be a reliable partner in the future, whether it is possible to give him a “hand and heart”.

It's even a shame that in the question of how to choose the right husband, love fades into the background. Marriages made only for love break up very often. As soon as feelings are dulled, people look at each other with a "sober" look, and understand that you will not be full of love alone.

And already according to other criteria, they begin to look for reliable partners "once and for all." What are these criteria?

Getting married "according to the rules"

How to choose a husband, realistically assessing your future life? What requirements should be set for the choice?

• Even in a loving couple, there are disagreements. How does your partner behave, how is he used to solving problems? If he allows him to raise his voice, or even raise his hand, explaining this with an explosive temperament, then should he be believed? To understand how he will behave in the future, you need to take a closer look, but how does his dad, older brother, uncle behave in various situations? Does the family have respect for the mother?
• It is imperative to get acquainted with relatives if in the future it is planned to acquire offspring. Perhaps this approach seems somewhat cynical, but if the family has hereditary diseases, then this should be alarming. This does not mean at all that in the presence of unfavorable factors, it is necessary to urgently leave a loved one. But you just need to know in advance what to be prepared for. Some diseases at this stage in the development of modern medicine can be prevented;
• If there are already thoughts about the future, about children, then it is worth thinking not only about how to choose a good husband, but also whether he will be a good father to the children? Attitudes towards the younger generation can be seen in how a man treats his younger brothers or sisters, if any, do his wife's younger relatives interfere with him? If the kids are not around, you can invite the darling to visit the families where there are annoying and curious kids.
• His social circle says a lot about a man. Is he sociable, how many friends, and who? Do you like his friends? In the future, you will have to communicate with them.
• Modern, liberated young people consider it very important for the creation of a family to match sexual temperaments. This criterion is verified empirically. But a good lover " from time to time»In the future he can calm down, and in the role of a husband no longer satisfy. And vice versa, when a couple lives together for a long time, they adjust to each other, and in the future, in the sexual sense, harmony comes. So the criterion is dubious;
• It is better to think about whether the future husband shares domestic interests, is there anything to talk about? Opposites attract, but there is a limit to everything! If the husband loves fishing and outdoor activities, and the wife leaves the apartment only to shops and to work, then soon they will constantly spend time separately. And the marriage will crack;
• When a modern woman chooses a husband for herself, for some reason she rarely thinks about social status. Smart and liberated people still believe in a fairy tale: the Prince married poor Cinderella, the Princess married the Swineherd ... they lived happily ever after ... In real life, this happens quite rarely. And if it happens, then modern Princes put Cinderellas in a subordinate position, and Princesses are ashamed of the Swineherds. Social misalliance now plays the same important role in everyday life as it did many years ago;
• Life and money. The cornerstone that has led to the split of many marriages. If she is neat, and for him household chores are not important, she is stingy and calculating, and he is used to squandering with money, the family is unlikely to last long.

If several men look after a woman, and the one who seems to love less suits the above criteria more? Whom to choose, a husband for later life or a loved one? How can this dilemma be resolved?

Responsible decision

The psychology of a woman's choice of a husband is as follows - a woman evaluates a partner according to her own criteria, from her point of view. Errors occur precisely because views of the world depend on gender.

All questions that arise during the grinding in of a pair must be resolved with each other, directly asking the partner what he wanted to say with this or that action. No need to ask your friends for advice! Men do not even suspect what conclusions women can draw from their carelessly defensive phrase or nothing insignificant act.

You need to try not to manipulate the man, trying to remake him, but to simulate the situation, and together find the right solution. Life problems are a kind of test that shows whether it is possible to hope for a partner in the future, whether he is able to make a decision?

Possible error

Sometimes the problem of choice comes before a woman after the Mendelssohn's march has been heard. I was disappointed in my partner, a new candidate appeared. I would like to correct the mistake, it is not clear who is more expensive: an already familiar husband or an ardent lover? How to choose in this situation?

If there are children, then it is required to take into account their interests first of all. How does a lover treat them, can he become a good dad? But you shouldn't give up on your feelings and live with a person who no longer bears the "title" of a loved one.

It is advisable to approach such a choice with a cool head, not to rush from one marriage to another. If you live a little apart, explaining your cooling to your husband with some objective reasons: work, for example, you will be able to look at both men from the outside.

Maybe then everything will fall into place. The lover will fade into the background, and the husband will remain the husband. But whether it is worth telling her husband about the real reasons for the cooling, each must decide for herself.

How to choose a reliable person from the point of view of religion

To the question of how to choose the right husband, Orthodoxy gives first of all the answer: you need to choose a responsible man.

No wonder they ask the groom in front of the altar if he agrees to answer for the actions of his wife. The Lord - according to Orthodoxy - will ask the man for everything that happens in his family.

But this does not mean that the husband is allowed to be a tyrant, no. A husband should help his family, make decisions for their benefit.

It is from the concept of responsibility that the rest proceed:

1. loyalty;
2. mutual assistance;
3. devotion.

The Church reminds us that they love not for their merits, but for their shortcomings. There are no perfect people. If the shortcomings do not seem significant, if, without breaking a person, you can get along with him, the advantages outweigh, the choice will be correct.

It is even considered optional that people who marry should be of the same faith. Churching is a difficult task, but it can be solved with mutual love and respect. When people look one way, the marriage will be strong.

Not an easy task

How does every woman choose her husband? Despite the experience of ancestors and social canons, the advice of friends and parents, everyone makes a choice according to their own criteria. Some people make mistakes several times, but they are still sure that it is not their fault.

There are even many tests that make the task easier.

For example, one of the tests on how to choose a husband asks questions:

Despite the fact that you should not take the tests too seriously, it should be noted that even the most playful of them make a woman pay attention to the degree of reliability of her man and make it clear whether there is mutual understanding in the couple.

When choosing a husband, you need to consider that the main components of marriage are responsibility, love, health and sex. Pain due to failure, disappointment, will lead to poor health, lack of love will cause negative emotions, lack of sex will make you feel unhappy. The main criterion for choosing the right husband is the feeling of the presence of happiness and a reliable shoulder in life.

How to choose the right man - important! Science has proven that in our female DNA there is no built-in algorithm for finding and choosing a partner. It's very difficult for women. We do not have enough strength, energy, or determination. Therefore, it is simply pointless for women to describe the portrait of the man of their dreams. This is more of a masculine linear way. Men know what kind of woman they want to see next and what kind of woman they want to see as the mother of their children, so that their genetics are embodied in the best possible way.

We have a different task, from the point of view of biology. We need to choose a partner with whom we would feel safe for ourselves and our offspring. And from this point of view, it is clear why love is conceived by nature. It's like a woman's way of tying a man for a better life for children.

Of course, in the modern world, when a lot of women are able to take care of themselves, children and even men, this does not seem necessary. But, after all, from the point of view of physiology and biology, there are no changes at all. We are the same as we were hundreds of thousands of years ago. And we are governed by the same instincts that evolve more slowly than the world changes. In every woman, nature itself has an ingenious solution that allows her and her offspring to adapt to external conditions.

How to choose the right man. We do not seek or choose. We filter out and filter out.

That is, our thinking is arranged in such a way that looking at a man, we think not about how to give himself up to him faster, but about the fact that there is such a thing in him to deny him. Therefore, all ideas HOW TO CHOOSE A MAN CORRECTLY and hunting for men contradict nature itself and cause neuroses in women. The very path of femininity is simply to be attractive to men and to have a choice.

Just think how ingenious and natural it is! And our critical look at men is exactly the right process.

You look and think, “What's wrong with him? Why should I be with him? What defects and shortcomings does it have? " “Do I want it just because I have ovulation? Or do I like him on other days as well? ;) "And only then, understanding the whole objective picture, understanding and seeing a man as he is, you ask yourself" And considering all this, do I want to give myself to him? Do I want to entrust myself and my offspring to him? "

This, by the way, is characteristic not only of women, many @ mts of animals filter out with @ mts in the same way. It is clear that only after the man has passed all the tests of your "filtration" are you ready to trust him. Moreover, these tests can take place both on a conscious and, most likely, on an unconscious level. Once he has shown his willingness, you let him into your life.

It was all from the point of view of biology and physiology. But you and I are social and conscious beings. Therefore, many different components interfere with natural selection. And the choice of women is very much biased in favor of the social.A huge number of women come to me with the desire to marry a wealthy and successful man. The very idea of ​​marrying a rich person seems to fit into the general system of security and survival of the family.

BUT…

There is indeed a very strong "but" in the criteria and choice of this particular path. I'm not talking about women from the category with "cute and heaven in a hut" and for whom it is enough that he "does not drink or beat." I understand perfectly well that female ambition is a natural process of development, both for a woman and for her man. Therefore, many see the result of satisfaction in finding a wealthy partner.

I have been convinced more than one hundred times that this is almost always a losing option.

How many times have I heard similar stories, when a man meets a woman in a luxurious Lexus or a luxury Mercedes, they have a ss right in the same car, and then it turns out that this is a car on credit or a boss. And marriage, because the man has a house, which, as it turned out later, is the house of his older brother. And a luxurious apartment, expensive gifts, and then it turns out that the person is superficial, he constantly has a new woman, and an emptiness sets in, in which you understand that you will never be the only one for him.

She chose only externally attractive and athletic men, and then realized that the man was emotionally unbalanced and immature, and was not going to change his bachelor lifestyle at all for her sake. And most women, choosing men, concentrate their attention. Does he have a car, apartment, education, experience in relationships with women, taste and style of dress, appearance.

And this is very sad!

When I was in London, I was simply amazed at what women came up with to get into the elite club Kitsch, and the main goal was to leave with some of the men that same evening in order to amaze him with striptease @ m and skillfulness and tie in this way to yourself. It ALWAYS ended in nothing. Or there was no sks at all. Or a man just p @ had this girl, thanked her and never called again.

Men are not as stupid as many women want to see them. And although the main driving force for men is sks, they choose a partner for a long-term relationship by more than one criterion.

And women need to "filter" more carefully. Understand that a lot depends on your choice. Yes, almost everything can be fixed, both unsuccessful marriage and dissatisfaction with the relationship and unnecessary accidental sex.

But what is important to pay real attention to is the potential of the individual.

A woman can always explain to a man why the Porsche Cayenne is better than the metro. And a house is better than an apartment. And why travel is more enjoyable than TV.

But that's a different job. This needs to be learned. The masculine way doesn't work here. Here you need to learn how to inspire, you need to be valuable so that a man wants to do everything for you. You love him, you do not ask, but you have desires and have ambitions. And he understands the value of your love for him and you personally. He understands that it is you who are showing him a better life, a new quality. And it is important for him that his genetic line is evolving. And that's what he needs you for.

A man will always find a way to satisfy all your needs. As in sksa, near @ sti, and in the material world. I would not like to talk about the criteria for choosing a man. In fact, they do not exist. But I want to focus on something.

1. It is important to understand that intelligence, the ability to concentrate on a specific task, responsibility, interest, the ability to bring things to an end, the desire to grow and develop (in their field) are very important qualities for determining the potential of a man.

2. His attitude towards life in general.

Is he a pessimist or an optimist?

In fact, this is not so important for career and self-realization. But living with a pessimistic person may not be so comfortable. You just realize it, and you don’t redo it.

One woman told me how she showed love for her husband. She believed that she was giving him LOVE. Every morning for 18 years, she said to him "Good morning, darling!" To which he answered her, muttering under his breath, "Morning is never good!"

And so she was proud that after 18 years he began to answer "Good morning!"

When I asked her: "Why didn't you try to leave him alone all this time until he handles his own morning?" She answered me: "I wanted to teach him to love" She kept silent and understood everything. Woman, clever. She brought passion back into the relationship simply by seeing the needs of her partner.

3. Your intuition and attraction.

This is a very, very important selection criterion.

But..

If you really like a man, and all your acquaintances, friends, his friends, say that you are "not a couple." Take a closer look. What exactly you do not notice and whether you will be able to get along with it in the future. And vice versa. If you don't like a man at all, but everyone says that this is just perfect. Give it a chance. Well, well, give love, accept love, and may this world become better, happier and kinder through you and your happy relationships. Put "LIKE" and write in the comments what filtering criteria you use.

Today we'll talk about how to choose the right man (by what criteria) (I will express my thoughts).

A lot of girls, girls, women = do not choose the right sexual partners for themselves. Not according to the necessary criteria, which are relevant in our time, but according to the old ones - without realizing it.

Very often you girls, girls, women "fall in love" with hooligans, aggressive / conflict boys, bandits, such bad guys, etc., and then run after them.

The point is that the process of reproduction (and love) is controlled by INSTINCTS (unconscious behavior). Reason (logic) in this process = does not work.

Female animal instincts = in modern society - very often men are evaluated - attention - still according to the old criteria for the selection of sexual partners - which were relevant in the past, millions of years ago, for example, in the Stone Age. But, not like now. That's the trouble, you know?

The fact is that the instinct it is laid down - genetically. And genetic changes take a lot of time. Tens of thousands of years of evolution, or even more ...

Simply put, too little time has passed for your female animal instinct to rebuild and change. For this reason - your female animal instincts in the modern world - sometimes evaluate sexual partners = still according to the old criteria that were relevant before - but not now. In our time = these many criteria = on the contrary only harm and show a low rank of the male. In general, this "partner score" is called competitiveness.

The competitive ability of a man is manifested in many areas.

Earlier, the competitive ability of a man was in that very aggressiveness, muscularity, hatred, conflict, greyhound, arrogance, strength, etc. Earlier, the one who came to the helm was the one who gave it to the head, he was the boss, and he became the head of the tribe. Everything. Power ruled, and in general this behavior.

This used to be the case. I am now simplifying a lot to convey the essence of that and all.

But! Now, in our time, the competitive ability of a man = has changed (is different).

But 2. You girls, girls, women are still being led by the old criteria of the competitive ability of men, and all because your female animal instinct has not yet been rebuilt and changed.

That is why you very often evaluate sexual partners - WRONG. Understand?

This is because the assessment takes place according to the OLD SELECTION CRITERIA = which are no longer relevant.

Therefore, you very often fall in love with all sorts of ur * d * v, repulsed, bandits, evil, I don’t know, aggressive, well, in short, these guys - who in modern society = do not rule at all. Sediments, in other words. Stuck still in the stone age Understand? I know that many of you young ladies simply do not understand and do not realize this. Because, in principle, you are rarely guided by logic, and in the process of love and reproduction = reason (logic) = does not participate at all.

In the process of love and reproduction = animal instincts rule, which you have not yet rebuilt. And instinct is unconscious behavior. You do not understand this (with your mind). Many of you are simply attracted to such men by that and all. It clings. I want to. For example, he hits you, wipes his feet on you, treats you at random, does not respect, perhaps even uses, he is angry there, does not shine with intelligence, aggressive, conflict, etc. etc. = and you are still with him ... I love him, I want to be with him, I am drawn. Well this is an example.

Because your INSTINCT (unconsciously) evaluates such men as competitive. BUT! At that time. Understand? Not in our time - competitively capable, but for that, in the past.

Your instinct hasn't changed yet (hasn't changed) This is the point. Understand? Hence all the troubles and problems you, many girls, girls, women in modern society - with partners.

Briefly speaking. I'm trying to explain to you, darling, how to evaluate sexual partners = in modern society. Old criteria = they do not rule in the modern world. On the contrary, they even harm. Show the inferiority of the male. Its rank is low. But these old criteria pull you, cling to you, because your instinct has not yet been rebuilt, and you are not “being fooled” by such men CONSCIOUSLY (unconsciously).

And not consciously (unconsciously) because the choice of a sexual partner occurs in this way, i.e. instinctively, without the participation of reason (logic). Mother Nature took care of this so that we humans do not screw it up and evolution takes place, not degradation, you know? In general, okay ...

Now several other types of male competitiveness rule, such as:

• The prosperity (prosperity) of a man (money) is the most basic.
• The superiority of the mind (smart, erudite, interesting, etc.), able to control its emotional animal component (domination of the mind over emotions).
• High social status in society (famous, popular, respected person); in general, a media personality.
• Good sense of humor (funny, jokes well, baits, floods, amuses).
• Etc.

In short, it deals with the criteria by which a woman should evaluate a sexual partner:

• The very consistency (perspective) (which I have already mentioned above); (everything is clear here, a man is a breadwinner, this is a male basic natural function, no attendants = a crappy breadwinner, not competitive, which means he is not suitable for creating a family and relationships).
• Masculinity (spiritual inner state) (it's difficult here, I can't explain it in a nutshell).
• Good looks, muscles, athleticism, dryness = male health; (unconscious behavior (your animal instincts) makes you, darling, choose more beautiful males to reproduce healthier, as a result of surviving offspring).
• The personality of a man and deeper things (worldviews in life, views, interests, hobbies, is there a passion (hobbies), what do you do, how you live, what are you, are you smart, intelligence, upbringing, IQ (social, emotional, logical) , thinking, behavior, etc.) (this clause defines the points of contact, how well a couple fits together, without points of contact = no serious relationship can do)

Do you see a lot of things in general? There is not one flurry of EMOTIONS, in the form of aggressiveness, greediness, impudence, anger, conflict, strength, etc. obscurantism that "ruled" before, but not now.

But, your female instincts = haven’t rebuilt yet, you know? Your instinct pulls you towards such guys = because your instinct evaluates such guys as competitive, therefore, you don’t understand this with your mind, but your animal instincts seem to tell you: “You can give such a person, be with him, fall in love, multiply, etc. " and that's what you do, you know? Have this in mind.

And do not misunderstand, these qualities have a place to be, in a man, but only on condition that there are also the above listed criteria (others) (grandmother, courage, high social status, muscles, health, etc. and etc.), but only this flurry of emotions, by itself, and nothing else = 100% no.

100% no = because it will be worse for yourself. A man for you, dear, is the main resource in life. With a decent man, you will win the evolutionary race, natural selection. Therefore, it is extremely important for you to very correctly approach the choice of a sexual partner, without making mistakes.

This information can help you to correctly assess sexual partners, and not be led by some of your outdated animal instincts. But, I have to give a serious explanation ...

It is important to understand ...

When you fall in love, really, seriously, with a person = your mind will immediately shut down.

This happens absolutely always, because mother nature made sure that a person could not make a choice of a sexual partner = with reason (logic). Otherwise, there would be no EVOLUTION (progress), there would be degradation, so falling in love with a person and maintaining control of the mind = impossible.

This a priori concerns all of us: men and women.

If you can reasonably control the "relationship" with a man = this is not love. That is, if you, dearie, for example, figure out in your head that he’s some kind of strange guy, his character is not very good, he has no money, his appearance is such himself, etc. etc. thoughts = say that there is no love.

That is, the animal instinct evaluates such a partner as not suitable for reproduction (love).

As soon as you fall in love with a person, the brain immediately turns off, it's like a switch, B-A-C and that's it, the brain is OFFLINE. Whoever fell in love at least once in his life, seriously, understands)) what I'm talking about now.

CONCLUSION: when you fall in love with a person, seriously, really, ONE ANIMAL INSTINCTS work. Instincts dominate the mind, completely, giving the mind (logic) a chance.

How then to be? Why use this article if instincts are the only ones that rule? And there's nothing you can do?

The fact is that the process of falling in love = can (and should) be controlled.

This allows, firstly, to LOVE in LOVE with a more suitable SEXUAL PARTNER! That is, into a more worthy man, and by what criteria to evaluate a worthy man = I have already told you.

And secondly, you can wait for reciprocity (return) from your partner (man), because you control this process. Many girls fall in love, but reciprocity from their boys = no. This happens a lot. As a result, the girl's brain is disabled, she is head over heels in love, but the man doesn't care about her.

As a result, in this situation = nothing comes out in the long run, and all the sadness is trouble.

I offer you a solution to the problem, for free, and do not thank - use it for your own good.

So where to start. Briefly speaking. You fall in love with someone who is very valuable to you. How can your man, a sexual partner, be valuable to you? Only when - you put a lot of resources into it.

Resources are: money, time, energy, strength, thoughts, emotions, fantasies, etc.

• When you think a lot about your man = you fall in love. (thoughts, emotions, fantasies, etc.)
• When you invest money over and over again = you fall in love with him. (money)
• When you do something for a man = you fall in love with him. (strength, energy)
• etc. etc. understand?

So, at the stage of falling in love = you, dear, can control this process. To do this, you need to carefully control how much resources you invest in a person. The more you invest = the more you fall in love. It is important that the investment occurs evenly, if you want there to be mutual love, feelings, if you want your sexual partner = to fall in love with you too. And your love (feelings) were mutual, do you understand? In no case, you can not play with one goal. A one-sided game is when you invest and invest, but there is no and no or little in you.

There should always be parity (uniformity). You did something for him (invested in him), he did something (invested in you) and so on ad infinitum. So everything will be fine. This will balance the relationship.

If you do and do (invest) for him, but he does not = an imbalance in relations will begin (in other words, a game with only one goal) = at which = a person (this partner) is valuable to you, very much (you are in love), and YOU are to him = not valuable (not in love), because remember the rule:

The more you invest in a man = the more his significance (value) for you grows and grows. It grows and grows. In this situation, you become attached to a person, feelings and love arise. But! ATTENTION: while your significance (value) in his eyes - on the contrary, falls (falls). Decreases and decreases. No love. There is no parity. There is no reciprocity. Everything is bad.

And as I said earlier, you fall in love with someone who is very valuable to you. That's all, actually.

CONCLUSION: now that you understand all this, and I am 100% sure that only a few will understand this article and information, and realize = even less, and they will apply information in practice in general - 0.1%, well, in in general, when you understand this / realize this, you must be very careful, firstly, in choosing a sexual partner (you can control the process of falling in love with a person, and in general, in principle, whether it is worth falling in love with him or not, this is very important , because a man for you is the main resource in life), and secondly, you must wait for a return (reciprocity) from him (there should not be a one-sided game, there must be mutual love, sympathy, mutual value of each other, then everything will be OK).

I have nothing more to add. This is unique information, be sure to use it for your own good. This is all applicable for men, when falling in love with girls / women. Use it. That's all!

And now about aerobatics (infa for men) ...

INFA for men. And not boys, adolescents, guys, etc. guys without households between their legs.

Men who are very powerful in themselves, experienced men, have different models of behavior.

This is a rare occurrence in our time. Because in our time, in principle, there are FEW MEN. Not like pumped men, with different models of behavior and other things (I will not fire all at once).

Well, come on, I'll give you an example. BETA MALE (one model of behavior) and ALPHA MALE (another). And there is a constant alternation. Briefly speaking. I will give you an example for myself. It will be easier for me.

I am naturally a beta male (beta males are most often chosen for relationships) because they have and have the right qualities for a relationship. Well, for example, romance, reliability, stability, responsibility and other things, but I had nothing else before. Just this.

And now there are also the qualities of the alpha male, which I turn on if I wish (necessary), and sometimes I don’t even turn it off at all, in general, it’s difficult to explain, this all happens no longer consciously, all these habits, qualities, actions, etc. the alpha male things manifest on their own because I am already an Alpha + Beta mixture. In the beginning it was not like that, there was only everything from "beta", and I had to, as it were, "pretend" to be who I was not, and do and behave like alpha males = in order to become one ...

The alpha male is more for bitches and fucks. Waggle-threw, a womanizer, a lot of girls, cool bitch, fast (quick seduction), a flurry of courage of emotions, that very greedy, arrogance, rudeness, insolence, toughness, courage, powerful confidence, etc. etc. it's all about alpha.

If you carefully read the article, you understand why experienced men do this (alternate behavior patterns). Because the female animal instinct has not yet been rebuilt, and they need everything.

If there is a constant beta male = you get bored hey, sooner or later, hey you want an alpha male, that tough pepper and its qualities, you know? Her animal instincts require such a male. Her animal instincts are drawn to such males. Hey want to. She is thirsty. In the end, instinct takes UP!

Not a single girl, girl, woman will tell you what I just said. They will not understand at all what I am telling here now. Well, in any case, very few of them will understand ...

When you are DIFFERENT, and a beta male: you look after, and give flowers, gifts, make romantic things, give a passionate gentle bitch, and all such usi-pusi, honey, gentle, kind, gentleman, hopeful, stable, etc. etc. etc. And ATTENTION: at the same time, you alternate this beta male model of behavior and show the alpha male and his qualities: greyhound, rude, arrogant, tough, and behave with her like this, for all these qualities, well, for example, t * x * esh * it is tough; you say hey hard no, not predictable, dominate hard, order, etc. etc. then, here many mechanisms of a woman are already turned on, she feels a man next to her, with the household, with eggs, she feels like a woman, next to such a man, her outdated female animal instincts = satisfied in full, etc. etc. And you, man, in the end - everything is good in the relationship.

You must understand. If you don’t have different behaviors (and most men don’t, most are naturally beta males or generally outcasts (omegas)), you will not be able to have strong, happy and lasting relationships. All these betrayals are possible, on her part, because hey will lack certain qualities that you do not give hey, you know? And treason is all, the end, once and for all. This is no longer the same, this is no longer a relationship, this is no longer trust, there is already nothing, in short, it is game over.

Women are very distant creatures, fig knows from what planet in general, except for jokes. We men are much more primitive than them. But, this is not about that. You have to be different and give hey everything. There will be one thing = hey there will be something missing (another missing). Understand? As a result = problems.

Therefore, if you do not want problems with women, pump different models of behavior in yourself. I only brought you the beta male + alpha male, but there are many other models. You will understand how cool it is, it's like acting in films, when they alternate and play certain characters. Good luck to you 🙂

With SW, administrator.

Communication and interpersonal expert Steve Nakamoto knows what women want and can answer many of the questions that concern them. He talks about how to weed out the wrong candidates and how to choose the right man for a family.

An honest male gaze: Your personal life won't work out if you choose the wrong partner. In addition to mutual attraction, you need to consider other factors in order to understand whether or not a person is right for you for a long-term relationship.

Before succumbing to emotions, be sure to assess the psychological maturity of the prospective partner, your compatibility, the degree of mutual attraction and the possibility of personal development. Otherwise, you will be faced with a relationship that will not suit him or you.

A wise woman will prefer a winner to a loser if she wants to have every chance of success in a love relationship. There are, of course, a ton of subtler variables to look out for when choosing the right man for any given situation, but nevertheless, men have some common traits that are likely to lead to a complete failure in a relationship. It is these traits that you must distinguish in the first place, so as not to waste time on someone who will not become a winner for you.

separate winners from losers

Thanks to the convenience and popularity of online dating, some women are dating more seemingly worthy men than at any other time in the past. After all, it is not at all difficult for a man to create an attractive profile and maintain a pleasant conversation in real time. A wise woman who is looking for true love understands that on the basis of such communication it is very difficult to determine who is in front of her - a winner or a loser.

A girl recently wrote about this to me: “What does it mean when a guy says that he likes me, but he doesn't feel the spark? A young man with whom I have been meeting for several months, at the very beginning of our relationship, said that we have a strong attraction to each other, and now he says that this is nonsense. What does he mean? Do he like me or not? "

Very often, when describing her romance, a woman asks me if the man she is dating is interested in her. Of course, assessing a man's interest in a woman is a paramount task, but every time I remind my readers that it is equally important to determine whether a given man is suitable for a particular woman.

By assessing whether a man has a genuine interest in you and is a good couple, you are more likely not to fall in love with the wrong person and ultimately avoid disappointments and setbacks in the relationship.

Don't count on people changing!

Avoiding the wrong candidates is no easy task. Since most of us hope for love so much and so rarely meet potential lovers on our way, many seek to take advantage of almost every romantic opportunity that falls.

Several years ago I was introduced to a sweet girl who was fourteen years younger than me. I remember one day I heard her say to a friend: "Steve is a great guy, he has so much to offer." This was especially true of the young people who surrounded her. But for a very short time she saw me in the best light - a mature, calm, financially reliable person.

During the "honeymoon" of our communication, it seemed to her that I was the embodiment of the best male qualities. But after a month, this young lady began to perceive me completely differently. My "maturity" began to remind her of "daddy's" behavior. I was no longer "calm", but "lazy, old and tired." And "financial stability" turned into "stinginess" and "money chase."

Looking back, I can tell that the difference in age, interests and goals in life made me a failure candidate for this girl. Not surprisingly, after two months of communication, we broke up.

avoid unsuitable candidates

It's important to remember that people rarely change. Therefore, it is more prudent to evaluate your potential partner based more on who he is at the moment, and not on what he will become in the future. Due to the very nature of romantic relationships, we easily get carried away and throw ourselves into the abyss of momentary passion, not paying attention to such important points in the long term as compatibility and the possibility of personal development. But wise women carefully assess these aspects at the beginning of the game, before they are imbued with serious feelings for a man. This way you can avoid long-term relationship with the wrong person.

Beware of men with bad habits ... If your prospective partner is chronically addicted to drugs, alcohol, or gambling, it is a smart decision to avoid romantic contact with them. Bad habits govern a person's life and the lives of those who are with him. Many women have already acquired this painful experience, spending time, energy, feelings on unworthy candidates.

Avoid men with serious character flaws. Character is the foundation of every personality. This is the result of hundreds of decisions made that gradually made a person the way he is now. Today, many women increasingly meet men with obvious character flaws, which, of course, cannot serve as a reliable support for love. Character is something that takes a long time to form, and it is very difficult to change it. Therefore, a wise woman would rather avoid close communication with men who have obvious character flaws than try to correct them.

Pass by men who have not an ounce of ambition. For many women, this trait does not seem as much of a disadvantage as others. But at the same time, a woman quickly gets tired of a man who does not know ambition. Without striving for anything, such a man does not particularly care about the material well-being of the family, which is an important cause of stress in relationships. A wise woman should distinguish a man who is in harmony with himself from a simply lazy and unmotivated person who, over time, will surely get bored with her.

Don't date men who don't turn you on. In romantic relationships, nothing replaces attraction or physical attraction. If the attraction does not come, it is better to refuse further rapprochement. Otherwise, you will get bogged down in a passionless relationship that will not satisfy either partner.

Say "No!" vile men. Women are often confused by men who show tenderness one moment and hostility the next. Many women in the early stages of a relationship focus on positive qualities and turn a blind eye to negative ones. When you communicate with a two-faced man, sooner or later he will direct his aggression towards you.

Evaluate men by their social circle. For many women, this is a daunting task. For some reason, they want to believe that her lover is not at all like his friends. But, most likely, he just wants to appear better. In fact, he probably looks a lot like his friends. Consider this, instead of relying entirely on its "advertising image".

Avoid men who are completely out of tune with your personality. Some people just don't seem to be able to get along. Instead of complementing each other and supporting each other, they quarrel over various trifles and find only the worst sides in each other. If you find yourself in such a difficult situation, assess the situation soberly. Don't make the mistake of trying to improve relationships, such as marrying someone who upsets you all the time.

Beware of extreme lifestyle differences. The way of life manifests itself in the clothes we wear, in the music we listen to, in the things we buy, in the food we prefer, in the words we say, in the dreams we strive for, in the friends we choose, in activities to which we devote our free time. If you want to connect with someone in life, it is wise to find a partner who shares your habits and views. People whose lifestyle is different from ours undoubtedly add color and variety, but, as a rule, communication and friendship with these people have to be limited.

Recognize potential value conflicts. Values ​​- for example, courage, love, honesty, and family - are ideals for which we have tremendous respect. When two people do not share values, they often frustrate each other. For example, I was told about a woman who complained that her husband was constantly getting drunk with his boyfriends instead of doing something more suitable for a family man. Such conflicts of responsibility and entertainment take a long time to mature and are often hidden until they develop into feelings of deep resentment. A woman looking for a new partner should avoid men who clearly do not share her values. Values ​​that are, in fact, deeply rooted priorities, can only change under the influence of very serious circumstances.

Stay away from men with unclear relationship goals. It is easy to fall for the bait of a man who claims that he loves children, but shows this love only in relation to other people's babies. A wise woman should distinguish between simply talking about marriage and family from a real willingness to make a commitment. True, some men openly say that they do not intend to start a family, and do not hide their aspirations for other goals. But a woman may fall into the delusion that over time such a person will change, and later discover that, in fact, his views on personal life have long been firmly established. A wise woman carefully evaluates the life priorities of a man and continues the relationship only if their goals coincide.

Men who are only ready to date from time to time are suitable for women with the same aspirations. As practice shows, it is useless to expect that a person will change in most cases.

Comprehensively evaluating candidates for the role of a permanent partner, a wise woman will choose the man who has the highest chances of bringing victory to their love relationship. This requires first of all weeding out the obvious losers.

: define right now what you don't want

Try to remember the men in your life that fit the descriptions in this chapter. Perhaps you met with some of them for a long time, you just know someone, your friends talked to someone, and someone is a world-famous person: a politician, an athlete, a musician, a TV presenter or a film actor.

It is important to paint yourself a clear image of the inappropriate candidate. So you will be able to quickly, in the early stages, analyze your potential partners.

Output:

How to choose a husband and not be mistaken? Unlucky in love when you're dating the wrong person. But if a healthy relationship develops between two emotionally mature people who have a strong mutual attraction and truly match each other, you will certainly be lucky in love!

Articles "How to choose the right man"