Birthday draw - Your business card. Funny jokes for birthday - excellent congratulations to man and woman fun jokes for birthday
I wish all the most beautiful,
Happy happy:
Health - chocolate,
Fun - grape,
Life is infinite
Youth - eternal,
Smiles - strawberry!
And it will be easier to live.
Watch everything! Very funny!
Happy Birthday Congratulations! Successes in work, the weather is pleasant, love pure, gentle and repeated, children of diverse, coat on the figure, neighbors in the compartment, which do not drink and do not smoke, hair of silky, teeth of snow-white, husbands of wealthy, sponsors of delicate, lovers smart, spouses in law , the mother-in-law living in another region, the ride of submissive, the plates are washed, the husbands are not snoring and over the night of shaved, colleagues are not looped only on grandmas, enemies of weak, enemies of strongly weak, dinners in bed, the impressions of polar and ... ... these .... Well, in general, that ...... regular
3.
I wish everyone to love, fall in love,
To marry, having sex.
Then getting ready, multiply,
And there is also sex to have sex.
Work with heat is given
And then -. have sex
Benefits to enjoy life
. And sex ryano engage
Just what I dreamed about, waiting
And there is still sex to do.
And before age not to surrender! -
Aged, but you have sex!
... It's time, perhaps, call:
I called sex to do.
Tin - watch to the end!
I wish you great health,
So as not to hang a rag breast.
And cunnilingus once a week,
You would do anyone.
And early in the morning at dawn
When there is no strength to wake up,
What would not be alarm clock, he is cursed,
And wild sex wake you.
5.
To breasts, like Irene Ferrari,
And the ass as Jay Lo.
So that the mouths of the mouths were spawned,
Drove on steep cars.
So that all the colors to the legs threw,
And every day in love swore,
And in boutiques so that
Anyone performed a whim.
So that sex is flying away before dawn,
Went to always loot,
In Egypt to relax all summer
And ride in Turkey in the winter.
In Ibiza to surf
So that men in love swore
(I would like to repeat).
In short, so that everyone is hurt!
I wish you a birthday
elite clothes and machines
Always a pleasant wave
And there is no post away from men,
So that manicure is always in order
And appearance is a clean ideal,
In love so that it was only sweet,
So that everyone stands for you!
Once a bottle, two bottles!
Happy Birthday Drugan!
Let him not be a hole in life
Your filled pocket!
Three bottles and four ...
We are already sailing with you,
To tomorrow in our world
Very long was a post!
Five bottles and sixth ...
Che ... still wish you? ...
Let your whole life in the sartyr
It will be easy, your mother ...
Seven in the course and eighth ...
Something I do not see you ...
Where are you going? Well, the traitor ...
Dried ..., I hate!
Funny happy birthday congratulations.
Buddy, I wish steep parties
Merry beautiful Ol., Masha and Irina
Optical winter, dear summer
I wish to be fashionably stylishly dressed and
Pilety happy always and everywhere
And in order to get friends in trouble!
I wish you to have everything in life ...
... and the expected pleasantness,
and pleasant surprises!
Happy birthday my friend!
Let everything be with you:
And penthouse and servants,
Personal yacht!
In the center - Personal Apartment,
Dress in boutiques
And wear only with fat,
And you live, as in dreams!
Happy Birthday, or what?
Happy soul holiday!
But they still do not rush to grow up.
Be diligent daughters
More often please mother ...
Well, in short!
In general, do not be sore!
To eat and shoved,
So that I would like and might
To everyone and everywhere
It was and with whom where was!
Birthday is cool,
This is Kama Sutra as if
: For enthusiastic souls
- So nice, even at least dances!
Birthday is nice,
You are today - the most important
All this is spoken
- Ears are burning all day!
Birthday is cool,
It means not in vain
We came to .. To you today
Because one thing
So to win from enjoying -
It's just perversion!
In general, happy birthday you! ..
A glass ... That is, I am a clash!
13.
I wish that in my pocket it was thick, bananas and cabbage flowers, and smile in the whole mouth, you have a smile so!
Citizen birthday man! Considering that the degree of your receptionism on a thorny path to the cemetery approached a significant, but not critical limit, I have a hurry to congratulate with the next stage and even more in a hurry to envy your annoying age. (18 years old - you can buy alcoholic beverages) Yes, your lucky summer is multiplied by cutting unapty. Yes, your personal life will be rebuilt in the spirit of time. Yes, your nose is always in the wind of change!
Today is the birthday of you,
So, you need to powerfully break away!
After all, you will have a whole year,
What to have a little challenging!
16.
Happy Birthday Congratulations
And with all my souls wish:
In Siberian to be healthy
Caucasian long live,
Gypsy to be fun
And in Russian vodka drink!
17.
Congratulations! I wish you
Men's and female forces,
Business to develop up the scale of the universal,
Cold beer in a warm company.
You can once again about women's attention ...
Bourgeois money in a leather wallet,
Less in life to celebrate frozen,
Walking wheel cool and light green,
(To beer, I forgot, more salted),
Our enemies dunk everyone in the sort
And, accordingly, the world is around the world!
18.
Be beautiful Malvina as
And like Cinderella Mile!
Let them love you immediately
Thirty three warns!
19.
What to wish a man on the birthday
More useful business meetings,
And life is sweeter than the best jam,
And do not know sexual diseases ...
To love more in life,
Preferably - several times a day!
So that you all women love
And warmed the soul and bed!
What to say about our birthday party
His face is courageous
The heart is noble
Intellect - Mighty,
Character - resistant
Eyes - clean,
Look - shrill
Head - cooks
Steering rules
Everything can
No money regrets
For you today, all the girl is flashing!
21.
I wish you on your birthday,
To surround joyful faces
So that there is both fun and peace
So that the husband was king, lover - Prince
And money, well, quite a little bit -
To jeep and on the apartment in the center,
So that only the chest became more
Love sip, well, happiness - centner!
22.
Something imperceptibly changed
As if someone rose exactly for a year.
What is the porcitution for the door?
Just your birthday today.
How can we congratulate you now
For the ears with love, we pull out
And your person is popular
We wish love regular!
23.
Buddy! I wish you always have something to outpat the pants! ...
.. I meant the wallet
Once God allocated for a person for life for five years, and horses, dog, monkey and all other animals -. Fifty years old years over him laugh like over a monkey. I want to wish you so that you live at least one hundred years as a person!
25.
I wish you to look like a salad! ...
... steep pepper with cabbage!
26.
27.
On the birthday of congratulations from us - this time.
We. good words -. These are two
Be all the time ahead -. These are three
To live with everyone in friendship, in the world - it seems four.
Never lose heart. It's five
Multiply all that is -. This is six
To be attentive to all -. This is seven
Be always in normal weight is eight, nine, ten.
Well, and to this, in addition -
! Happiness, joy, luck
Live let you not sad
Crusting in a cabbage wallet
From a wheelbarrow key lies in his pocket
The remote control is waiting on the couch
28.
Success at 7 years is able to wake up in a dry bed,
Success at the age of 17 is able to sleep with a girl,
Success in 25 years is to be able to find a good wife,
Success in 35 years is a career and family,
Success in 35 years is a family and career,
Success in 65 years is able to sleep with a woman,
Success in 85 years -. This is able to wake up in a dry bed.
I wish you (name) success in further life.
29.
I wish the devits to you red,
To drive blood in the veins,
Wines, vodka and sorbets of different,
What an empty stomach love!
Let the fun fairy tales splash,
And let every joke will understand
I won't build me here,
Luck you in life waiting!
On the birthday of you wish you
So that all your dreams come true,
So that the men surround you,
And not Martov cats!
So that you can achieve everything.
So that life seemed cheerful,
We wish units
And after a lot of zeros!
Congratulations, hug,
And cry your cheers!
You are Miss World, Miss Universe
And Miss this table!
31.
Glasses, forks no downtime
For you today standing!
And that evening came
Beautiful cake and candles,
Decorated the holiday table,
Madly glad to meet ...
I raise Rom
For a cute girlfriend,
And scented at any
I wish Vigov ....
... vgugu happiness and ferry,
Which will lead to his spouse
And if desired,
Bay from happiness all the dishes ...
And run home naked barefoot!
33.
I wish that in your house always the table leaned from food, and the bed is from pleasure.
I wish the keys from the car
So that you never be sad!
And whatever you want a man -
Beauties with forms always
Cold beer more,
Salted fish under it,
So that everything lasted always longer,
Not irritated anything!
35.
Health, happiness, money, koreh,
Wish! So that - full of soul!
And remember: you will not argue with that,
What will wish the korean.
36.
Birthday! Lovely!
Since the past, has passed since the year?
After all, from that fun
I did not move away!
Let there be less critical days,
And more - cloudless, passionate
Let the money in full will be in your bag,
! And less dangerous connections
Hope, health, good luck and strength,
Love - without problem hikes,
And that Abramovich hands asked
And life joyful takeoffs!
38.
Whether what you are:
For friends - a good friend,
Houses - a loving spouse
And a caring father,
And in bed - well done!
39.
As important in life, everything is in time:
Put the children and the house to give birth
And build a tree don't forget
And my wife-model would like to have ...
All this will be with you, I know for sure
In another order, maybe, but not the essence.
Happy birthday you congratulations on your day
And I will try to look at the evening!
Happy Birthday to You,
Happy Holidays.
Not on light hemp
Here you are jam.
41.
I wish your life to be dirty and dark ...
To make money like mud, and from happiness in the eyes darkened!
So that you just managed to achieve.
So that life seemed cheerful,
I wish you united
And after a lot of zeros!
43.
Happy birthday congratulations
We are all the team.
And with all my souls wish
Be always so beautiful.
Let all be dummy stacks
Silently, under the feet lay down.
You should be with them
figure out quickly.
Money so that you riding a sacc
Let everything be always a beam.
Dear, collegor
Know, we are always ready to come to your revenue ...
... and the more revenue, the better!
45.
Congratulations! I wish you so that you have every day to have in a different place, because, according to experienced doctors, the present health is when it hurts every day ...
46.
On trifles you let and argue,
All the "fuck" call, "Stone",
We congratulate you, koreh,
From birth wonderful day!
47.
Dear (name)! Let the cognac, which you drink, will be the older women with whom you sleep!
48.
Happy Birthday friend!
Of all the arts, for us the most important beer!
Come more often in our "Circle of Art History"!
So that you lived beautiful
I wish a lot of beer!
In circles, in banks and bottles!
Box beer in the freezer!
And so you coped with him,
We are already running to you!
49.
Throw jokes to the side,
It's time for great things!
Per birthday robbed
Botty Spin!
I wish you on your birthday,
Well, just a sea of \u200b\u200bpleasure!
Stacks, glasses, with beer a circle
And cool girlfriend
Dancing-shmannians before falling!
What else needs something?
Preparing for a birthday campaign is always troubles that are invariably accompanied by a question: "What would such an unusual to give?". Paintingly choosing a souvenir or perfume in endless rows of hypermarkets, you can go crazy from a variety of proposals. And in the end - again buy a set of towels and worry until the very holiday that someone from the guests will come with a similar gift. But so I want your efforts to be in vain, so that your congratulations remember more than others.
It is for such a situation - when I want not just to make a duty gesture, put a tick, and "to" celebrate "a holiday, make others, and most importantly, the birthday party, laugh, wonder and remember this birthday for a long time - this is for this you can use a simple arsenal of various original surprises And the birthday raffle.
Ideas for the holiday
More options
As an idea for a day of drawing, you can use any way known to you, but it must be cheerful, but not dangerous. You should not use options that can scare, spoil appetite.
The main rule: the birthday must laugh, and not everything over the birthday man.
"Chinese Vase"
Spice a pair of bottles, pack them into oblong boxes, generously decorate festive paper and ribbons. Contact your birthday: "This is a real Chinese vase handmade. I want for many years she pleased you with his beauty. " With these words, take a step forward, stumble and drop the box.
"WIN"
In the phone phone, an unknown voice cheerfully reports: "Hello, this is a radio such, you are in live air. In the weekly car drawing, your phone number turned out to be winning. The room was chosen by a computer in random order. Congratulations! If you want to pick up your gift, you must sing the anthem of the country. " Do not give a man to dress up, customize, ask, what is your name, start singing with him. After the speech, congratulate it once again and tell me that he is waiting for a courier with keys. Behind the door should be someone with a gift.
"Restaurant Soup"
Buy frogs and chicken legs, caterpillar and snake in the store surprises. In the morning, tell me your beloved that cooking a new delicious soup. Restaurant recipe. In the meantime, put "meat" in a saucepan with water, add the bulb, carrots, can cut the water with turmeric or sage. Go to the bathroom and shout from there: "Cute, prevent the soup on the stove!" ATTENTION: Soup should not be hot!
For loved ones
There are people in our lives for whom the most important thing is attention. And if you arrange a cute drawing, which they will remember then for years, completely forgetting what soft toy On that day of the birth, you gave them.
"City Tour". It is organized using notes with instructions hidden in different places. The first can be sent by SMS. It is advisable to attract it unfamiliar people - So it will be an effect. For example, leave one note in the store or in the concierge.
On the beach
- "Exhaust cake." Put an inflated ball into the box, pour up all the whipped cream, decorate to be like a cake. Suggest a birthday call!
- "Merry beer". Shake the jar with beer well, give the birthday girl.
At the table
- "Best". Each of the guests gets up and instead of a toast talking about the birthday language something good, but in one or two words, for example: "Beautiful", "smart", etc. If someone is repeated, he is poured a penalty glass, and he must come up with another word. Fun begins after the fifth person. Designed for a large company.
- "Portrait". Initially, according to the number of body parts present on the leaves, starting from the head: Oval Faces, Nose, Roth, etc. Guests get up in turn and, saying toast, go to Watman, where they tie their eyes or dress glasses with squat glasses and give a marker. Their task is to draw a portrait of a birthday room, namely, that part of the body that fell out by lot. You can help, directing the hand drawing. At the end, with the words: "This is what the birthday name is his friends!" Turn portrait to table.
At work
You can use a raffle colleague for a birthday in case the name day are scheduled at work.
- "Prize". Pre-agree with the boss, so that it will help you. So, the director comes to the office and solemnly says: "For excellent work and professionalism, as well as in honor of the birthday, I want to reward you with a premium in the amount of 10,000 rubles. Later you will go to me for a diploma. " You at this point should stand next to the boss. He transmits you envelope and quickly leaves. You with the words: "What a bonus! In the country - crisis! " Raise the envelope and throw out after the left boss. Naturally, in an envelope - money printed on a xerox. The main thing after that time to say that it was a draw.
- "Unpleasant bell." Find a non-working phone, exactly like a colleague. Among the day, ask his phone to call, go away a little aside, imperceptibly change his phone on a doll, and begin to "call" somewhere and "swear". In the heat of quarrels shout to the final phrase pouch, and with the power throwing the phone into the wall. When a colleague starts slowly to get up because of the table, shout in the choir: "Congratulations!" And rather give gifts!
W. Wife birthday. Preparing the table She sends a husband to the store for snails to a spicy dish. Well, my husband went. Bought snails. On the way back, I decided to look into the bar to skip the ORD other. The bar is a cute waitress ...
In short, he wakes up the next evening in bed at Bartelers, it seems that now will be at home, grabbing snails to the house at the last step stumbles and scatters snails .. the door opens
- There is an angry wife ...
Husband bending to the snail and pushing them:
- Well, relatives, well, there are still a gum, well, here we are at home ...
- K.ak do you celebrate birthdays in the family?
"Very simple ... My wife's birthday is in a restaurant, and my red pencil in the calendar."
P Lacate in the showcase of a flower store: "Smoking and forgetting the birthday of his wife is extremely dangerous to health."
D. Nor born is a very useful thing. According to statistics, the more people have them, the longer he lives.
- BUT Le, where are you? We must see!
- I'm on the day of birth, and what?
- Oh .... and where is it a bottom of birth?!
- K. Will your birthday?
- The second of September.
- Can not be!
- What can not be?
- So that the year was two September.
ABOUT The bottom of the lady promised his grandchildren on his birthday to invite clowns for him. It's not a birthday, there are no clowns. Suddenly the doorbell. Grandson yells:
- Clowns, clowns! The woman opens, on the threshold two merges of homeless:
- Mistress, maybe what kind of work in the garden is? I would earn money on food.
Well, sorry for people. Woman tells them:
- Well, go Firewood Sharp in the garden. And there are no clowns, the grandson rides.
Suddenly, a woman looks out the window - in the garden one of the homeless people do such numbers! It will rush to the ground, then the pyruetes turns, then it climbs on the apple tree. And, besides, it seems, sings. She knocks into the glass, calls the second and tells him:
- Your friend like this not to perform for my grandson? I will pay 50 dollars. Bum shouts:
- Hey, for 50 bucks give a second finger to cut off?
- H. Would you like to give you a purse's birthday? Or money clamp?
- I already have a clip for money. Meet: My wife - Katya ...
FROM Ultan Brunei finally waited for the birth of the heir. And here on his 5th birthday he told him:
- Light of my Eyes! Today you are five years old. Ask what you want!
- Dad, I want an airplane!
And Sultan bought him "American Airlines".
The next birthday, son asked for a typewriter. Sultan bought him Chrysler Corporation.
On his seventh birthday, the boy asked to see cartoons.
And Sultan bought him the whole Disney Studio.
When the son turned 8 years old, the boy said:
- Dad, I'm so tired of all this luxury. You can, I'll just stay at home, and I'll just look in the window on the clouds and dream, like all the children. Sultan bought him Microsoft ...
J. Erenshchi complains a friend:
- Law, I do not know what to give her husband for a birthday. He already has everything I need.
FROM Tudent is trying to take up from the lecture, well, and nothing better does not occur to him, except to say the truth. In general, such a dialogue:
- Nikolai Petrovich, can I leave today?
- What happened, Ivanov?
- Yes, there, the guy has a birthday!
- Fu, Ivanov - Do you have a boyfriend?!
P Arena - girl:
- You are the most beautiful on your birthday.
- Thank you! I tried to!!
- Specially selected guests?!
N. Standing Don Juan walking on a birthday to a woman
Never take a gift with me, his gift is always with him.
IN bus:
- Girl, are you going now?
- Smear only crazy.
- Well, then - come out?
- I only get married.
- Well, what are you doing then?
- Sharp!
- Oh, sorry, I did not know that you have a birthday today!
- W. Did you have a birthday yesterday? What did you give?
- See, in the yard costs turquoise "Merc"?
- Blimey! Classroom car!
- That's exactly the same color cap ...
I I woke up very joyful and run ran into a shower. With a smile on my face, I went to the kitchen with thought, and what a wife will give me. But she even forgot me to congratulate me. - Neither Fig yourself - I thought - well, nothing. Children will not forget
But the children also forgot.
You imagine with what feelings I drove to work. But when I went to my office, the secretary of Julia told me gently:
- Good morning, Chef. Happy Birthday!
And I felt a little better somewhere in the middle of the day, Julia knocked me and said:
- Chef, let's go bunching together! This is your birthday!
And we went. After the third Martini Yulia said:
- Chef, went to me home. After all, there are no work at work, and you have a birthday!
And we went. When we arrived, Julia whispered in my ear:
- Chef, sit here on the sofa, and I go and put on something more comfortable!
And she gone.
After about five minutes, the door opened and Julia entered the cake, my wife, children, parents, mother-in-law, colleagues, friends and many others went behind it.
And I sat on the sofa naked and thought: Oh bitch!
FROM Think two nine-story buildings opposite each other. One neighbor yells another.
-Mysh! When is your birthday?
-In January. Why do you need this?
"I will give you curtains. And then the whole house sees how my wife does blowjob.
-And you when?
-In April. And why do you need?
"I'll give you binoculars to see you seen this wife."
Grandson comes to grandmother's birthday with a bouquet of roses.
- Thank you, cute granddaughter!
- The grandmother was shot.
- What kind beautiful roses And so similar to those that grow in our garden!
- No longer grow ...
I ask my husband: "Did you sing?"
He brows me: "Did you sing?"
I: "There is enough to understand me."
Husband again: "Enough to understand me!"
I: "I love you so much that I will give you a fur coat for my birthday!"
Husband: "Yes, I was ...".
How old are you?
- It is indecent to ask a woman such questions:
- Okay, and when is your birthday?
- March 24.
- Which year?
- You will not believe: everyone!
Having received the ball on the birthday, Masha thought it was the best gift in the world. True, an hour later she realized that the best gift was new front teeth ...
Christmas is a day when anti-Semites celebrate the birthday of the Jew.
I have a long time ago in my notebook phone, I do not remember how, a strange record under the name "hell" I'm afraid to call there, but sometimes you congratulate on the New Year and your birthday.
Cute, happy birthday. I give you the opportunity to manage the rain.
- How are you for * ball, shaman, bl * dy, unemployed.
Birthdays are good for health. British scientists have proven that those who had more birthdays lived usually longer.
Looking like a grandmother:
- Masha's birthday invited me. What to give her: one great gift Or a lot of small?
- Probably a lot of small.
- So be. I will give her seeds ...
Monya, and tell me, how do you celebrate in the family of birthdays?
- Very simple. The birthday of Souga in the restaurant, and mine is a red pencil in the calendar.
The girl who got a birthday is not exactly what she wanted, she said from the chair not exactly what he taught.
There are two nine-story buildings opposite each other. One neighbor yells something else:
- In January. Why do you need this?
- I will give you curtains. And then the whole house sees like your wife does a blowjob doing.
- And when you?
- In April. And why do you need it?
Everyone saw inscriptions on asphalt at houses like - "Light, happy birthday" or "Ksyusha, I love you." But the inscription from the dormitory "Forgiveness Anya, you are not fat" - this is a masterpiece!
Two girlfriends in the store.
- What do you think, what postcard is better to buy: "My bunny" or "my cat"?
- What is?
- Yes, my goat tomorrow is a birthday.
Dear, this is your birthday! Open!
- But ... This is your width ...
- I said, open.
The system programmer for the birthday gave a suitcase. He asks:
- What for?
- Well, like, - they say - you're on business trips there any ride systems debug?
- Well ...
- Well, so: you put the panties here, socks here, here ...
- Stop, stop guys! And what will I go?
Oleg never knew how to hint, so for the birthday of grandmother he presented a sample statement for inheritance.
Wife asks her husband:
- Dear, what do you give to your birthday?
- for one evening to assure a deaf-dumb.
The brain is a unique organ. It works 365 days a year, 24 hours a day from the moment of birth and until you enter the examination audience.
Woman congratulates a girlfriend happy birthday:
- At first, I wanted to wish you happiness, yes I'm afraid to smooth. Then she wanted to wish you money, yes I'm afraid you robbed you. Therefore, I wish you love - let though TR ** Nut ...
What do you give for a birthday - one big gift or a lot of small?
- Many little!
- Then I will give you seeds.
Today on the birthday of Pope gave money, tomorrow we will go to my mother's shoes.
The driver of "KamAZ", as the birthday should celebrate. The drinking companions with great difficulty piled into the cabin, he began and rides. Here are cops, slow down. I learned the smell, shout:
- Well, get out! Now in the tube you will blow!
- Yes, you are what men! How would I then climb back?
The medications went up so much that we will soon give them to each other for a birthday ... to live to the next.
- Oh yes, Madame ...
When was the last time my wife flowers gave? Not on March 8, not for a birthday, but just like that?
- Yeah, give her try. Immediately will begin suspicion, digging. And after all I will definitely get something.
My girl is so stupid! Gave her a chain of type Golden for her birthday, a metrarh in the market was bought at the market. His fur coat, the Chinese fake under the mink, took - also did not notice! Now got pregnant, waiting for the son!
- Your or revenge?
The boy was presented for the birthday of the drum. He tortured all the neighbors - in the morning: "Bam! BAM »BAM!" Neighbors complain to parents, those - nothing: son will noise, not in the evening, let him play. And only one old wise neighbor did not swear, I called the boy on the street and asked: "Do you know that the drum inside?" No one has bothered anyone ... "
Lucky!
- Strictly says mother.
- Why didn't you be at school yesterday?
- And I did a gift to the teacher.
- Which present?
- And she had a birthday yesterday. So I decided - let him relax without me.
The older you become, the clearer you understand that the birthday once a year is not so rarely ...
Very complete lady calls to the firm to lose weight:
- Tell me, is your company really guarantee significant weight loss in a short time?
- Oh yes, Madame ...
- The fact is that my husband made a wonderful birthday gift, but I can not get into it ...
- Madame, we promise that in 2 months you can freely wear your new dress ...
- What does the dress here?! Husband gave me a car!
Gave a boss of 10 rubles. Heard wishes more than a birthday.
Women's birthday is better to remember, year of birth - better forget.
Located in school. Petopka tells:
- And I had a birthday yesterday!
- in class!
- Gifts to me daddy donaril!
- And what presented something?
- As always!
- And always gives?
- Soccer ball and slingshot.
- in, class! And who does your dad work?
- Greybeller!
Opera group on murder. The man's head is labeled in a frying pan. Senior trainee:
- Write. Death came as a result of the cranial injury. Practigant:
- Maybe - cranopy brain? Older:
- What nah ... brains ... to his wife's birthday with his mistress came.
The husband comes home from work. The wife kisses him and lights 18 candles on a cake standing on a covered table.
- Does any of us have a birthday?
- the husband asks.
"Yes, honey," the wife answers, "my fur coat. She became an adultement today ..
Ira is sent.
- mmmm uhhhhhhhhhhh ummm.
- Ira, so enough! Already lunch soon. And you sleep everyone. Sonya odor.
- Hrrr USSC Mnya Eee - Ira, please. We have a lot of things today.
- Auuu Eee Ya - Irina! I understand that yesterday you had a birthday, but already just enough.
- AAAAA is another 5 minutes ... Hernrr ... Mommy, Favorite, well ...
- I want to say a few things:
- First, sleeping on the keyboard is harmful to makeup. Secondly, I'm not a daisy, but the general director. And thirdly, you, Irina, how my deputy serve a bad example of other employees of our company ...
At the bottom of birth, something went wrong and after midnight from a drunken stripper climb a cake ...
A high school students says a friend, who has been celebrated birthday on the eve:
- How nevertheless get the parents with their idiotic questions, like: "Who was there?" Or "what did you eat there?". As if I remember ...
Princess invited Gusar led by a colonel for a birthday. Suitable for the table on which the cake stands and puts the candles. Places are missing and she says:
- Where would I insert this candle? Colonel snatches a saber and yell:
- Gusar-Rdition! Silence!
Gave a wife's wife, and she for me for a birthday line ... I did not understand something ...
Happy Birthday! Hold a gift.
- Thank you! Wow, this is money! My favorite! How do you know?
- Like? Himself earned!
I ask my husband:
- Have you eaten? He messes me:
- Have you eaten?
- Stop to mad! Husband is again for her:
- Stop to mad!
- I love you so much that I will give my car for your birthday! Husband:
- Yes, I washed, poked ...
Vasylich, and what are you yesterday the whole evening on the phone mate yell?
- Yes, so, happy birthday congratulated.
I sit on children's Dn. Birth and watching the work of the pushing an animator. Here is one of his masterpieces:
- Children, let's call our birthday! Saahasha, Saahasha, Saahasha! Oh, that's it. Sasha, what is your name? ..
Little Johnny when you have a birthday?
- February 29.
"You were lucky that there was a leap year, and it could not be born at all.
Is Izing, what did you give my birthday?
- Golden clock, which I can only dream of.
- So love the jubilee so much, what did you give the dream?
- Why not? He is old, and I am the only heir.
For a birthday, someone brought seeds. Drink never started.
My friend has a birthday today. He does not drink, does not smoke, does not use drugs, not Azarten and does not change his girlfriend ... FIG he knows how we will celebrate.
A four-year-old daughter is suitable on his birthday with a question:
- Momulic, and where did I come from?
- Sun, we found you in the cabbage!
- Mom, what cabbage? April for a month in the yard ... The dad interferes with the conversation:
- in Sayer, daughter, in Svalya.
Doctor dictates a trainee:
- Write: "Card injury to the head ..." - Maybe the cranknaya brain?
- He does not have brains, once on the birthday of his wife and his mistress pulled out!
There are two nine-fitting on the contrary. One neighbor yells something else:
- Misha! When is your birthday?
- In May. And what?
- I will give you curtains. And then the whole house sees like your wife does blowjob.
- And when you?
- In June. And what?
"I'll give you binoculars to see you seen this wife."
Amazing organ - human brain: It works 24 hours a day, 365 (366) days a year, right with yours and up to the very moment you ... fall in love.
In confectionery:
- Please give me this cake, write "Dear Monet Happy Birthday!" - Now wrap.
- Do not, I eat it here.
There are two friends. One says:
"Want, I will give you a purse's birthday?" Or money clamp?
- I already have a clip for money. Meet: This is my wife Katya.
Dad, and when a stork brought me?
- September 16, son.
- In great, just a day of my birth!
At the birthday of the oligarch performed Montserrat Caballe.
- The guests were shocked. Such an execution of the "Vladimir Central", they have not yet heard.
What gives birth to a birthday?
- Let's crystal an ashtray.
- Yes, he does not smoke.
- Well, then come on the pants of the leather of the red crocodile, the jacket from the lilac china skiing, green pig leather boots and ...
- And you do not smoke!
Ale, where are you?
- I'm on the day of birth.
- Oh ... and where is the bottom of the birth?!
Mom, I want a dog for a birthday.
"Good, Kim Wives-Sun, prepare for your favorite recipe."
The wife asked Mink's birthday.
- Flock in the garden for the second day. Worried. Suddenly do not like it?
Lieutenant Rzhevsky walks with Natasha Rostova. Natasha:
- I have a birthday today, what do you give me? Lieutenant:
- Kinder Surprise! Natasha:
- How soon? Lieutenant:
- Surprise today at nine in the evening, and Kinder in nine months.
Littlely asks mom:
- Mom, what is your birthday to give?
- Give me your good grades.
- .. and cheaper?
Little Seryozha for a birthday very much wanted a dog. Parents decided to please the kid and bought hefty Senbernar. Seryozha looked at the gift and says:
- I did not understand who was presented to?!
On the program "Big Policy" Kiselev says Yushchenko:
"You are so ruthless to Yulia Tymoshenko today, and she has a birthday today." By the way, did you congratulated her?
- Of course, congratulated! Rather, I congratulated Yanukovych, because I do not see any difference between them!
Everyone who loves the work of Yesenin is simply obliged to read the poems of prostitutes on his birthday and to fry alcohol with Banjugs.
There is a traffic cop in the post. The weather is bad. It is raining. Suddenly sees - rides "Oka" on the road and wags from side to side. Hu, it slows down the driver:
- You are drunk. Fuck into the tube. The driver breathes. The traffic cop looks - everything is fine, sober.
- What are you going and wable?
- Yes, you understand, yesterday I had a birthday. So I donate janitors from Kamaz ...
Wife draws to her husband:
- I have a birthday tomorrow !!! Do you even remember? Favorite mine - of course !!! I can't forget this date. I still have insurance for the car ends.
Judging by the SMS that I received on my birthday, my best friends - This is a bank and cellular company.
My girl told me that I was waiting for something special for my birthday. Cunning. Now I will have to meet with her for another 5 months.
The man comes to the store:
- Please give candles for the anniversary cake. My wife has a birthday.
- How many pieces do you?
- Thirty, as usual.
Three year old baby gets from grandmother birthday present. After turning it, he sees that this is a water gun and, having listed from delight, runs quickly fill it. Mom is not delighted at all and gaining her mother's number:
- Mom, do you remember how we brought you to madness with their water pistols?
- And then!
Birthday programmer. Wife says toast:
- I wish you this speed of the Internet, how you end!
The man comes to a friend for his birthday:
- Best gift - This is a gift made by your own hands! So I give you ... Figu!
In childhood, the birthday is the most beloved holiday and gifts, gifts, gifts.
- An adult birthday is a headache and spending, spending, spending.
The guy calls a girl:
- Hello! What kind of flowers do you like?
- Roses.
- Red or white?
- Red.
- It is clear, and how to treat champagne with candles?
- Positive ... And what are you preparing something for my birthday?
"Yeah getting ready - I sit, I choose you a postcard."
Holmes, what should I give my wife for my birthday?
- Golden earrings.
- Why, Holmes?
- Elementary Watson:
- Women love ears!
Talking on the phone:
- Well, yes, you can buy something, I still have a birthday today. But keep in mind that I do not like sweet and flowers ...
- Yeah, you love semi-sweet and grass ...
Rzhev's birthday. Natasha Rostov informs him that she has a gift for him. Dogs undress, and she remains only a bow on a spicy place. Lieutenant Rzhevsky, rolling sleeves:
- Well, and where is he there?
Dear, what would you like to get a birthday?
- I do not know yet...
- Okay. I give you another year to think.
Two positive sides of winter: 1. Birthday 2. New Year.
Let's spend on me best years His life, but it will be like my birthday.
I have a husband - the Sagittarius, so I gave him a rifle for my birthday.
- And my husband is a fish, I will give him an aquarium!
- And my husband is Capricorn ...
Wife in tears speaks to her husband:
- For two weeks, I will tell you that I don't have to give anything to my birthday, and you still forgot about him! ..
Dear, where are you caring a cake?
- I want to give his secretary of my husband.
- What is her birthday?
- Not. She has too slim figure.
Little Johnny, what did you pretend to you for your birthday?
- See, ving under the window, Mers 600th, turquoise?
- Yeah! Classroom car !!
- That's exactly the same color cap ...
Cute, give me a birthday something like that I can exclaim:
- Wow! "Lexus"!
Blonde enters the church and begins to blow the candles on the altar. Batyushka horror:
- Girl, what are you doing ??!
- What? I have a birthday today!
