How to take compliments correctly. How to react to compliments of men? What is compliments and why they need

This is not that simple, as it seems at first glance. And on how we perceive the compliments on our address, may, oddly enough, depend on our relationship with others.

The human response to the compliment is primarily the indicator of its self-esteem.Low self-esteem people At praise, it is consistently embarrassed. It seems to them that they do not deserve these words. Suppose to comment as they look good, they can answer what they usually look worse. If praise, let's say, they caught a dish, they can say that this turned out to have a pure chance. Often, such a person does not believe in sincerity of praise at all. "Yes, I know that I look really terrible!" - He answers in exchange for the diffilams of his appearance. And hearing the enthusiasm about cooking, crafts, drawings, or other of their creations, such people can give the following phrase: "You're kidding me, or just don't you want to offend me? After all, I know that this thing is disgusting quality! ".

What does such behavior lead to? First of all, to the fact that the compliments will stop saying, seeing your reaction negative on them. In addition, watching your complexes, other people will gradually come to the conclusion that you are really not so good as it seemed to them at first ... After all, depreciating themselves, you reduce your assessment in other people's eyes.

High self-esteem peoplepave into other extremes. Hearing a compliment to your address, they can smoke arrogantly: "I know." Well, yes, a person has already said a thousand times that he is beautiful, well cooks or draws, sings, pohes poems ... listening to it just tired, and so I want to answer the interlocutor with frank rudeness. In addition, the individual C maybe as well as those who have complexes, refer to compliments with distrust. He can take admiration for flattery and sense hostility towards the alleged lets.

Of course, you can understand the stars and celebrities, which hear compliments at every step, and not always sincere. They are surrounded by a huge "retinue" and are really forced to be selective in their surroundings. But most of us are still ordinary people and, probably, are interested in successfully building relationships with friends, familiar, representatives of the opposite sex and work colleagues. therefore it is worth learn to respond to praise.

If you praise your appearanceYou can confine ourselves to a brief "thank you." This is a universal response to any compliment. Having answered so, you do not drop our own dignity in other people's eyes and do not seek the task.
If something concrete is praised in appearance, say, hairstyle, dress or bag, you can give a small comment, for example: "I decided to change the style and therefore," I bought this dress, because I decided that I would go this color. " Or "I think this handbag will suit my today's image."

Praise your work, work, needlework, a dish that you have prepared with your own hands? Do not rush to modest and look for shortcomings in your work or answer something like: "Yes, you know that I am not a cooler!" React depending on the situation. So, if you praises the chef, you can limit the words: "Thank you, I tried." If you get in an informal setting and this is not related to work or business, you can restrict ourselves to neutral: "I am glad that you liked it!", And you can tell you about the results of your work. More - Tell a recipe for a man of a dish, describe the story or the process of creating a craft , Mark some nuances ... just talk about what you are interested. After all, you did it not only to praise you! You did it to deliver the joy to yourself and others!

It happens so that praise some of our personal qualities - Diligence, talent, kindness ... This is perhaps the most difficult option. Answer "No, I'm not exactly like that!" - How to devalue yourself. Answer "Thank you" means to admit that you agree with your assessment given by another person, and it seems to look indisputable. How to be here?

In some situations, you can generally do with an uncertain gesture - smile, shake shoulders, etc. But the optimal option will be this answer: "Thank you, I am very pleased that you think about me." That is, you thank the interlocutor precisely for his opinion about you, and do not deny his saying and do not confess that you yourself thought about yourself exactly as this man said.

Taking praise, you should always stick with the Golden Middle. Then no one will doubt your positive qualities and does not touch anyone to accuse you to zaznia. And it is not worth it to rich or praise yourself in response to the heard compliments unambiguously, it always creates a negative impression.

Men are firmly confident that women love ears. Do not spare beautiful phrases and colorful epithets, they showered girls with generous compliments.

Beautiful ladies are far from always know how to behave correctly in such situations. Even women with impeccable appearance, who are difficult to call compliments to be insincere, do not know how to respond to compliments of men.

What are the compliments

The goal of all compliments alone is to please the interlocutor and arrange it to himself. Only in some cases the man goes out disinterestedly, and in others - there are some personal goals. Sometimes it's just a desire to conquer the lady's favorite, and sometimes the task is to arrange the boss, a doctor, a bank worker, a seller or another woman from which it is required to receive a one-time service.

Not always, girls can distinguish a sincere compliment from well-covered flattery. Some men, including Alphonse, own a special gift and all that they have said is naive for a clean coin. Other guys, on the contrary, cannot speak beautifully and compliments from their mouths look crumbly, unnatural and insincere.

The task of each woman is to learn to be friendly to react to sincerity, to maintain a shy man and adequately respond to flattery. Any praise cannot harm, spoil the mood or cause a conflict.

How can not react to compliments?

Hearing a compliment to your address, in no case cannot object. Attempting for a girl to impress their advantages to men in confusion. They have to repeat their admiration and convince the interlocutor in those said. As a result, an innocent compliment turns into a dispute, in which a man has to leave the last word for a woman. What else can a guy tell if he tells the girl that she had a beautiful hairstyle, and the girl begins to object that today she did not have time to lay her hair and they stick out in all directions?

Another common mistake among the insecure women - excuses. Hearing from the mouth of the interlocutor pleasant words, some ladies begin to justify. As a result, men overwhelm doubts about the said and desire, as soon as possible change the topic. As the guy must behave, who admired the beautiful cloak, and in response he heard that the raincoat was bought 5 years ago and will go today only for the reason that all other things became small.

Indifferent attitude to the compliment And the absence of any reaction also does not like men. A man invested a part of his soul into the phrase, she gained courage and said a laudatory speech, and in response, he received only empty silence. Will a young man have a desire to sink with complies with a deplotying person next time?

Some proud ladies are negligiously related to compliments. What this costs is - understated self-esteem or a manic suspicion of a flattery, it is difficult to understand. But after several unsuccessful attempts, men disappear every desire to speak any nice words to the girls. It turns out that women themselves make men silent and compound! You can only rebuild only if the interlocutor is really unpleasant and there is reason to doubt the sincerity of his phrases.

Excessive joy from the heard and unacted inspiration looks at least weird. Compliment is just a sign of attention. Specified words do not oblige a man and do not imply further discussion. If the guy tells the girl that she is beautiful, it does not mean that he is in love with her or plans closest acquaintance. It is unlikely that a man will once again inform his friend's friend that she looks great if she sees a flirt in this.

You should not answer compliment to the compliment! As a result, the interlocutors, taking each other, turn into the heroes of the famous fables about the rooster and cuckoo. In addition, praise, instantly followed in response, it looks not very sincere. It is better to keep in yourself a gust and save nice words for another case.

How to react to the compliments of men?

Easily and beautifully responding to compliments is a whole art. To master them will have to increase their own self-esteem and stop looking for insincerity in other people. Each woman has the right to a compliment and do not need to be sought in the words of men catch, irony or hidden intent. Anyone says words, even a flattery, on their own will and without coercion, therefore, and to take them easily and without tension.

Hearing pleasant words from a unconscious person in your address, you do not need to prepare a long thank you. Just say only one of the short phrases: "Thank you for the compliment", "Thank you, I am glad that you like" or just: "Thank you". The main thing is that at the moment of gratitude on the face there was a friendly smile, and there was no irony in his voice and distrust.

If praised pour out of the mouth of a good friend, it is allowed to answer jokingly. For example, a close man, admiring a magnificent view, can be answered: "Tried for you!" or "I wanted to like it very much!".

Girls who cannot overcome natural modesty, you can put a light blush and trembling in my voice benefit. Such ladies are recommended to languo to lower the eyes and say: "Thank you, you confused me a little".

A little practice and compliment will cease to seem something unnatural. The right attitude towards the innocent praise increases the mood, gives confidence in yourself and gives a woman a special attractiveness!

Inga Mayakovskaya

Reading time: 7 minutes

A.

All women, from time to time, hear in their address compliments. Some compliments - from the soul, sincere, others - banal flattery and foaming, the third - from timid fans, fourth - unleashed and unscrupulous, etc. The reaction of weak sex for compliments depends not only on the emotional promise of "Lestza", but also from the inner Woman's globility.

What should be the answer of a woman for a compliment, and what are our mistakes?

Common mistakes of women in response to compliments - learn to manage emotions!

Each lady has its own reaction to praise - embarrassment, indignation, confusion, etc. We, women who react to compliments by virtue of their pupils, character and other factors But the main thing is to not allow mistakes in this matter.

Namely…

• Do not mind
  If you have made a compliment, you should not stop the "horse to jump" immediately, they say, "you seemed!", "There is better!" or "What a nonsense! You might think, I have not seen myself in the morning in the mirror! " By this you detain yourself, your talents, their advantages. Moreover, with such a reaction, you will not raise yourself at all in the eyes of a man, and even, on the contrary, embarrass him.
• Do not justify
  Your beautiful dress, excellent figure, unearthly eyes and all the ammunition of talents is a reason for pride, and not for shame. You do not need to immediately tell me that on this tan, you spent a bunch of time in the solarium that the breathtaking smoothness of the legs cost you half a year of sessions in the cabin, and this amazing handbag in general from second-hand. If you do not respect yourself, do not expect respect to yourself from others.
• Do not ignore compliments
  Do not defiantly turn away with a contemptive mine and show your cosmic inaccessibility, even if you are extremely embarrassed and dreaming to fall through the beautiful tile in the store. It's just ugly, unknown and does not paint a woman. Of course, we are talking about normal men with normal compliments, and not about "Hey, Chouvich, where did you get such tights?" From the company of gopniks with a local bench, or about Madame, you are so smart that I could not add me 10 rubles to beer? " From the lost "ghost of communism" with a pair of lanterns on the face. The normal man is wounded your behavior, will insult or simply call rejection. If you already have children, you probably know that ignoring is the most terrible reaction.
• Do not express disregard
  Even in the unpleasant cases described above. Be higher the behavior of the woman who arrogantly folds the sponge with a bow and, twisted the nostrils, looks through the person.
• If you have made a compliment, you do not need to jump from joy, clap your hands, rushing on the neck of "Lsiets" and express delight other unnecessary emotional ways
  This is an extreme. Abandoned phrase "How beautiful you are!" (for example) also does not mean that now you have to do anything to this person or are obliged to give a minimum, to give a response compliment. You should not anyone. Celebrated your beauty, talent, action? "Thank you", and "ran to live on." The more confused in response to the praise, the more your unreasonable "sense of duty" than the brighter emotions from (most often) any meaningless words - those vulnerable you are for manipulating you for the purposes of men. And these goals are usually not a stamp in the passport and the villa for you on the caribbean. See also:

Causes that do not give a woman beautifully and correctly answering a compliment

Accidents in our world does not happen. Everything is interconnected, and everything has its cause and consequence. No exception - and the reaction of a woman for compliments.

Why we are not able to adequately respond to praise and what is the reason for embarrassment, irritation or desire to "send it with compliments to the bath"?

• Rejection of man
  The very first and main reason. The person just does not like, frankly unpleasant or he is just a stranger, and Mom taught you not to answer "unscrupulous" compliments of beautiful and brutal strangers (according to the principle of "Wolf and Red Caps").
• Low self-esteem
  The second most prevalence is the reason. For some reason, you are sure (or someone disheveled you, "having won," made you accept as a fact) that you are scary, you don't care about the legs at all as a Cameron Diaz, and the place from which they grow, incorrect. And the hands are not coming there at all, and even the talents of the sky fell. Why did you decide that you do not deserve a compliment? Why do you think that with some Jennifer Lopez and not standing nearby? Yes, she has an insured part of the body, for which the lolly men have expired for many years from all continents, but not one "ass", even the most insured, will not stand before the influence of pregnancy, time and old age. Moreover, one only the smell of your borscht men go build as hypnotized, and, barely noticing your stunning smile, falls with stacks. Spit on your prejudices and complexes and start respecting yourself. And love.
• Awkwardness and feeling of guilt
  Repeat is a mother of teaching: if your merits recognize, this does not mean that those surrounding live in the world of illusions or badly know you. This means that your talent (appearance, beauty, etc.) is appreciated. With the exception of cases when you lie frankly, and you understand it. "You are me - me" in the case of compliments, it will be similar to the "Cockerel praises a cuit." Be natural and learn to take compliments in female wisely - slightly condescendingly, with a half jelly, and immediately throwing them out of the head.
• Heightened self-esteem
  Another extreme. Women from this category usually take offense that they were praised not enough intensively or not at all. Or you jerked only "tops" while the "roots" cost more attention and praise. In this situation, the Council is one - look at yourself from the part and deal with the correction of your self-esteem. Hypertrophied love for yourself is called egoism.
• Pathological suspicion
  Of course, if at 2 o'clock in the morning, returning from the guests, you suddenly hear the threatening bushes - "You are my lovely!", Then reflect "how to answer him ..." you should not - jump into the face a scoundrel from the gas sprayer (or deodorant) , Bate the knee for the causal place and surprise from all your feet. But in every man who makes you a compliment, see the scoundrel, maniac and just a mercenary type is the path to a psychologist (if not to say to a psychiatrist). Because the installations "The World is evil", "all the men are yours ...", "Yeah, I made a compliment again, it means that I attract too much attention, it's time to wear a barge and dress from burlap" or "I am nothing but unworthy Praise "- initially go from problems in internal psychological equilibrium. Caution is good, intuition is even better, unreasonable chronic suspicion to all - pathology. Happy with such installations to become exactly impossible.

How to answer a compliment of a man - instructions for self-respecting women

You made a compliment. How to react, what to answer? Rejoice, blush or run without looking back?

• To begin with - turn on intuition
  She rarely brings a woman. If you feel and see that you are unsinkable cheating that "from under you", they want something, hoping for a retaliatory curtsy, try to delete, put in an uncomfortable position - do not show your emotions, align and continue to do our own business. If your cavalier is alive too - use the tips ,.
• Imagine - sometimes people say compliments simply to please each other!
  Take this fact and reprove that you love and appreciate. And even a little long ago from a good person will not hurt.
• Do not convince "Lsiets" in the opposite
  Everyone has the right to his opinion. This for you your talent does not mean anything, but a person may not see anything surprising in his life. And in general - from the side more. Thank and forget about the compliment (torment because of it, do not sleep at night, weigh it "reasonableness" and look for underwater stones to anything).
• If your sincere emotions in response to a compliment do not coincide with the hopes of "Lsiets" - do not care
  Keep emotions with yourself. Sincerity, of course, is fine, but it can and finally "finish" a man. Smile - your best answer. Only a modest smile is not a Hollywood, not encouraging, not entering. And less words. "Thank you" or "Thank you" enough. If there are no problems with a sense of humor (both, of course) - you can answer praise in a joking tone. And the situation is discharged, and the awkward pause will end, and besides, the laughter prolongs life.
• Do not seduce
  Do not fill a compliment with a certain global meaning, which did not invest there at all. Maybe your, for example, a work colleague simply wanted to make you a pleasant one - well, he had a mood. And you, blushing and pale, are confused in words, perceiving his words for an invitation to closer communication (especially dangerous if you feed feelings to him). Such a reaction can cost you spoiled reputation and disappointments. Try to distinguish politeness with gallarium from real flirting.

Compliment, when he goes from the soul - This is an extra serving "Sunny" for any woman. Take it with dignity like a small gift, and return to a person back with its positive energy.

Please remember various situations associated with compliments in your life, and share your stories in the comments below!

Each of us wants to receive compliments, and not only from representatives of the opposite sex, delighted with our beauty, but also from friends, friends, boss, etc. However, only a few can boast the ability to make compliments correctly, mostly women are confused, blush, They begin to justify: "No, you, I'm just lucky" or "This is all a dress, it grows extra kilograms." Is it worth saying that such an approach does not make a happy smooth account of anyone: neither who gives no parties. Therefore, it is very important to understand why you are so embarrassed by someone's positive feedback and why you can not with proudly raised head and a charming smile to answer a simple "thank you."

It would seem that gifts, walks under the moon and compliments are only tinsel. This man is measured not by the karants of the diamonds, which he presents the lover. A man with a capital letter is reliable, strong, honest, and everything else is nonsense on lean oil. However, no matter how many girls are convinced of themselves in the fact that pleasant words speak only those who are not capable of serious actions, each of them is secretly dreaming of heading the head to representatives of the opposite sex and hear the myriad of compliments in their address. It is so that we see success in men: a stranger falls in love with us at first sight and without false constraint begins to praise everything that he likes so much: "Your eyes, like bottomless lakes, I think I can drown in them. You are so attractive that I no longer remember where it was going. I think I have never seen someone more beautiful than you. " Is there something more pleasant? We are MLEM, embarrassed and ... do not know what to answer. All the words of gratitude seem to disappear from the lexicon, questions are spinning in the head: "Is that all to me? Maybe he confused? Not so beautiful eyes, quite ordinary. I did not differ at the attraction: Last week, the boyfriend ran away from me. And around hundreds of women more beautifully me. Probably this is a mistake. Or mockery. For sure, he argued with someone! " And all - the magic of the compliment is lost, and the stranger seems only a "messenger duck".

With such an attitude to the pleasant words that someone speaks to your address, you will never learn to appreciate yourself. Someone praise will always seem mocking, error or misunderstanding.

You will think that they did not deserve this positive assessment, respect or admiration, because everyone has done circumstances, but not you yourself. It's time to reconsider your attitude towards compliments and learn to take them with proudly raised head.

Why do we not know how to take compliments?

1. Psychologists argue that the main reason why people are confused, hearing praise to their address - these are their low self-esteem. The girl sincerely thinking that she is not beautiful, he will not be able to perceive the compliment relating to its appearance. "I know perfectly well that this is not the case, why then tell me that my hair is especially beautiful today?" - She mentally surprised and will not find what to answer.

2. Some people are confident that a compliment is excellent method of manipulation: "No one will just say that ways are nice words to another person, for sure they need something from me." Being confident that "solved evil intent", such a girl will not perceive the compliment seriously and, of course, will not even think to say "Thank you."

3. "If someone makes me a compliment, then he is waiting for me to say something pleasant in responseAnd I do not know what to say, "there is such a point of view. It looks like an attitude to gifts: "Do not put me in an inconvenient position, I can not give you the same dear thing."

How to make compliments

First, you stand work on your self-esteemSo that the next compliment on your wonderful figure is not answered by embarrassed: "Yes, what's the figure! I bought weighting lingerie! " You should understand that you deserve this positive assessment that you are beautiful both in lingerie, and without it.

You should understand that you deserve this positive assessment.

Secondly, never do not miss a compliment by earsSo you are offended by a person who wanted to make you nice. Imagine you say a friend: "How did you have looked over for the summer!", And she only looks somewhere past you and silent. Agree, from the side it looks like the highest degree of ungratefulness.

Thirdly, do not look for a bang. You did not ask for a person to tell you something pleasant, did not forced him to do it. Praise your address - only the desire to voice what was so delighted or surprised by your interlocutor.

Fourthly smile. Whatever you say in response, reinforce your words sincere smile. It should not be stretched and exhausted.

And fifthly thank you. The best way to answer a compliment is to thank the one who did it. "Thank you, I am very pleased to hear it," this phrase is quite enough.

We continue the topic of attractiveness. The attractiveness of the girl can be created including from the smallest details, and even the reaction to a compliment girl can show how low or - on the contrary - its self-esteem is high.

And in this article we will talk about how to answer for compliments of men That's right and with dignity.

We have already talked about how important it is to demonstrate to men what you appreciate and respect yourself (I advise you to read the articles "and" ").

Why is it important to be able to correctly answer the compliments of men?

The girl who refuses compliments and begins to assure a man that she is unworthy of such words, demonstrates its low self-esteem:

- You have such a beautiful smile!

- What? I have? I don't need to flatterly, my teeth are curves, and the smile is the most common ...

(And the man looks: "Oh, and the teeth are really uneven ... And since she says that the smile is usual ... probably, I really seemed ...")

- You look awesome!

- I? Yes, well, we look awful, we don't understand how, bags under the eyes ... do not confuse me, it is not true ...

(And let the man answers: "No, you are not right, you are beautiful!", He will think another: "U, in fact, bags under the eyes, and I didn't notice ... And he believes that it looks bad - there is probably the reason , since she is not so confident ").

It turns out, even if the girl with self-esteem is all right, and in response to a compliment just begins to "flirt" (as it seems to it), showing embarrassment and awkwardness, responding thoughts in the head of men will not be as expected (although his response Words will probably be pleasant).

Reaction to your reaction

Remember one important thing: your reaction to compliments also causes one or another response in the head of the man. .

Therefore, it is important to keep in mind the possible reactions of a man. And you do not need to think if the girl begins to downgrade himself in response to a compliment, then a man thinks: "Oh, she is so beautiful and mila!" - No, this will not happen.

In fact, the man will have a reaction (conscious or subconscious) search and assessment of the flaws called the girl (although in a friend answered the girl for the compliment he would not have noticed these shortcomings at all), as well as the reassessment of his vision of the girl, because the brain will be completely reasonable Question: "Hmm, maybe I really became mistaken? .."

Oh, what did you really make a compliment? ..

Another huge minus of the wrong reaction to compliments is that the girl demonstrates his unusual compliments .

And any man, let him not admit to you in this, I want such a girl so that others envied him: Won, they say what a stunning girl he got! And if the girl is not accustomed to compliments, it means that other men do not consider her stunning.

Therefore, stop reacting to compliments without taking them and giving themselves!

But there is another side: when the girl demonstrates his excessive self-confidence, carelessly throwing in response to a compliment: "And without you I know that I am beautiful ..." Or "could not talk, it is obvious!".

Such a reaction is invalid, because such a reaction shows that the words of a man for a girl didn't mean anything to a smooth account, and also demonstrates the girl's unpretentiousness, her rudeness and the most excessive self-confidence that men do not like in girls.

What gives the correct reaction to the compliments of men?

Correctly answering a compliment, you can show:

• that you appreciate yourself high
• that you are accustomed to compliments (it means, and other men consider you an attractive),
• what you can't have any usual words, for you are worthy of much more (unlike girls who are melted from any compliments).

How to answer a male compliment?

And correctly answer the compliment is very simple: you need to smile warmly in response, slightly nourish your head and gently say something like: "Yes, thanks)" or better just "Thank you!", As if fully agreeing with the words of the interlocutor, But still showing that you have a nice to once again hear such a compliment.

Thus, you should show that you have long known about your dignity (about which a man speaks in a compliment), and other men know about him, i.e. you are accustomed to your dignity, and to compliments on his occasion.

None: "Oh of God, however? And tell something more pleasant! "," No one never said this! "," Oh, how pleasant it is to hear it! ", No" this is not true, I stick out there and there is a crooked thing ... "," Why Do you deceive me? "," I do not need to flatter "and no:" Well, so and then! "," I know! "," Not you first, not you last tell me it! ".

Let a man sees that you know the price and you will not melt from his words. To conquer a standing girl, you need something more than beautiful words.

True, it is not enough to just be able to answer compliments correctly. Therefore, if you want to learn how to impress a chic woman, attract the opposite sex as a magnet, and not allow critical errors - Join daily free webinarwhere other details of attractiveness and construction of strong happy relationship are considered.

The correct answer to the compliment is not all

Imagine that you are a man. And you say some kind of girl that she looks great. And she is responsible correctly: "Thank you" with a cute smile and kind crust.

But at the same time, her body was squeezed, it was stuck, the hands nervously climbed into his pockets, the eyes ran across the floor. It all spoils.

The body always gives our true reactions if we have not taught him to behave beautifully on a constantly basis. Yes, yes, this can be learned! And one of their gestures and feminine movements can be highlighted among thousands of girls and make men think about you. I wrote about this in the leadership "how to become more attractive for 7 days" - you can get it for free ,.

And something important about compliments:

I remember once again that men also love compliments. And male compliments are good at any stages of relationships ( and especially in marriage ):

• to speed up love in you
• to express the fact that you appreciate it
• to motivate a man for new accomplishments
• for "stroking" male ego
• to create a pleasant anchor on you

Do not underestimate the importance of compliments in our lives: they are capable of strengthening relations even more, to disclose us, inhaling forces in us, to make us happier ... and it works in both directions.

But what is fun - we, girls, most of them inspiring, when to say a compliment to a man. And the compliments like "you are so beautiful" or "This jacket is very good!" Do not roll, because these compliments are not recognition of his male strength, his personal qualities or achievements (and if for us, girls, it is important to recognize our attractiveness, then for men, the recognition of their own merit is much more important for men).

If you are still tupit with compliments, as I once tupped, read an article with specific examples. Mutual praise is a very useful thing for a relationship!

Do not forget to please the compliments of your loved ones and allow you to make compliments to yourself) and, of course, continue to read our articles, because they charge for a happy relationship;)