Do girls like older guys? Why do girls prefer older guys. With the aim of creating a family
Theory first - physiological
This theory is the most primitive and simple. If you look at this from a physical point of view, then, according to the logic of things, women, on the contrary, should be attracted by handsome young guys with good health and strong bodies, who will be strong, brave, energetic, mobile, and so on. But if you remember the manuals about the peculiarities of the puberty period, then you can say that there it is written in Russian that girls develop four years earlier than boys. However, if you read the information to the end, you can see that then the boys quickly gain intelligence, the girls catch up by the end of the 11th grade and overtake them in development. Perhaps girls continue to feel superior to guys their own age?
Why girls like older men
Theory the second is Freudian
Remember Freud's theory of the Oedipus complex? The essence of this theory is that every guy is looking for a mother in his companion, that is, a girl should be like her mother-in-law, make dumplings just as well and take care of her "son" in the same way. Some psychologists say that there is another complex - the "Electra complex". According to him, every girl is looking for a man similar to her father. A woman compares every man to her father. The guy should have the same character, habits or appearance as his father-in-law. For example, some young ladies just go crazy when they hear from a man the same scent of cologne as her dad, or when he smokes the same cigars as her father. There is another interpretation of the Electra complex, which says that the satellite should replace the girl's father. This is especially practiced when the girl was raised only by her mother.
Third theory - general's
Everyone knows that in order to become the wife of a general, you must first marry a soldier. However, not every lady wants to wait and count the stars on the shoulders of the chosen one. It is much easier and faster to immediately charm the general! Therefore, the girls are looking for a person who has already achieved something and has all the material wealth behind his soul, which means that he can provide his beloved with a good life. However, there is another option. Many women think not only about what they will eat, but also about their children. If you can play with a sweetheart, then children need something more serious. Moreover, no girl has any guarantees that a soldier will ever become a general.
Theory four - topical
Everyone understands perfectly well that a man who has lived up to a certain age is, first of all, a man! Secondly, he is a wise, experienced and intelligent person. So, this is human-interesting, there is something to talk about with him, you can ask for advice and rely on him in everything. Moreover, aged men are 100% personalities who have already formed. If a man has been married 6 times before you, then for sure you will not become his last wife. If he has been drinking for twenty years, then you will not change him either. If your companion has been striving for something all his life, striving for something, was ambitious, and suddenly the other day he was appointed vice president of the company, then you can rest assured that this is a wrong step in his career ladder. A little more and your children will have a father - the president of the company. But with young guys everything is not so simple, you still need to change your mind, whether he will cheat on you in five or ten years, could he achieve something. Moreover, many guys do not have enough experience in communicating with women, I do not even mean the sexual side of relationships. There is no worldly wisdom in young people, so they often cannot explain something, do not know how to say this or that thing. Of course, nature has rewarded some guys with intelligence and ingenuity, but, unfortunately, there are very few of them ...
Fifth theory - relative
Who are the "older men" actually? What should be the standard for dividing all men into young and mature? As a rule, you need to compare the ages of the partners. His age should be relative to the age of the girl. Many believe that the best difference between companions is 5-7 years, provided that he is older. The allowable difference is more than 10 years. However, in our time, marriage of 70-year-old women with 19-year-old youths is considered normal. Of course it is surprising! But what can you do about it? They decided so, and they have the right to do so!
So, let's summarize, why do women choose grown men?
- A mature man is a person who has already taken place in life, he has a certain property that a woman will not need to earn for several years with backbreaking work or wait several decades for everything to appear. No need to think about whether they are promising or not. After all, everything is already visible. Surely he has a good job, status in society, position, or just a stable good income.
- A grown man is a person. He is smart and experienced. It will be more interesting with him than with young guys who still have the "wind" in their heads. Guys don't think they need to build a family, and girls want it more than anything.
- Often the girls in the "daddies" are attracted by money. According to statistics, poor girls are rarely chosen. Such a man denies himself nothing, and for a young lady, he can generally make heaven on earth, because it’s wonderful to be young and to visit many countries, try many different things, buy branded clothes and drive a good expensive car. At the same time, there is no need to wait for anything, you will all be provided with this on a silver platter. So a woman can live one day without thinking about what awaits her tomorrow.
- He already had a considerable number of relationships in his life, so he knows how to lead himself correctly, where to give in, and where to show character. He is more patient, which means he will forgive and tolerate your young claims and whims. He will be calm about your "scenes" and tantrums. It will be a simple and calm life.
- As a rule, he already has the necessary acquaintances and connections. If you want, he can help you build your creativity, career, or solve a difficult problem.
- Many women believe that such men will always be proud and admired for their youth and beauty. He will not cheat on her, because a young fairy is waiting for him at home and it is important for him that she be with him. She will seem to be the only one attractive, worthy and beautiful compared to others. However, it must be remembered that there are such "Casanovas" who can easily find another girl for themselves, it is only worth beckoning with your finger.
- Do not think that in old age men have any problems with potency. Many men can give odds to any guy. Often, girls look out for wealthy men, and they try to keep themselves in shape, take care of their health and appearance. Therefore, they have no problems with their sexual life. In addition, many women want to "try" an experienced man in bed in order to make their intimate life more varied and interesting.
- With such an uncle, you can always be a child whom he will pamper and solve all problems. Thanks to his wise mind and strong shoulder, you will always be safe.
Despite all the advantages, I advise the girl to look at the disadvantages of this choice:
- If a man is already old, then how long will he last? He is not immortal. He will have less time for you, someday we all leave this world.
- Easy money doesn't always make a girl happy. Everyone should do something on their own so that later they can taste the happiness.
- In most cases, girls end up in the hands of such a man, just toys. He will be able to kick the girl out at any time or simply forbid her to express her opinion.
You decide. Be careful when choosing. And in general, the most important thing is the presence of feelings, respect and love. And age ... Age is just a little ink in your passport ... Isn't it?
Sometimes people ask: why do men like older women? The world today, as the older generation says, has completely turned upside down. Indeed, earlier in Russia an unwritten law ruled: a man should be the eldest and leading in relationships and in the family.
The age difference could be very significant, and so much so that the future husband could be suitable for his wife as fathers, or even grandfathers. Selected brides, if they were too young, were given to monasteries until they reached the age of 16-17 (and sometimes even 13). Yuri Dolgoruky, for example, generally married an 11-year-old girl. Today he would be guaranteed to be imprisoned for a decent period, but then such an alliance did not seem strange to anyone. According to historians, such marriages were dictated by the problems of that time: continuous wars, in which many people died, forced people to think about a faster procreation, and parents tried to quickly and more profitably accommodate their children. The turning point probably came with the formation of the Soviet Union, and the peak of the "inverted" relationship occurred in the last couple of decades.
Why do men like older women? To answer the question, each case must be considered individually, but some templates are still present (forgive us, lovers reading the topic). A person and his essence is formed throughout life, but the main points are still laid in childhood and adolescence. It is then that preferences, basic desires, most habits are born. With the knowledge gained, a person goes through life, simultaneously "grabbing" new ones. And if we talk specifically about a man's attraction to a woman more mature than him, then the reason must be sought in the family where the boy grew up and the environment in which the man was formed.
Habitat
Returning to the topic we started, let us remember how the environment began to change with the formation of the Union. At that time, everyone, regardless of gender, had to participate in the collective building of communism. The main contribution to this construction was work. A person sitting at home was considered a parasite and was subject to universal condemnation. Women worked on an equal footing with men and most of them had no time for children and their upbringing, let alone sexual. The streets were full of homeless children, and those children who grew up in families lacked attention and warmth.
In the post-war years, the situation even worsened - the people had to not only go "towards a brighter future", but also to rebuild what had been turned into ruins, "catching up and overtaking". And again, the children lacked real family comfort and warmth. What did they get then? And they saw round-the-clock nurseries with other people's aunts (and sometimes grandmothers), kindergartens (sometimes also round-the-clock), schools, and sometimes boarding schools. Who was involved in their education and training? That's right: most of them were strangers' aunts. It was their children who held the hand, pressed against them when they cried, kissed them on the cheek and said their innocent childish "I love".
It was then that the first seeds of "unequal" relationships were laid. Those that germinated, burst out at the root - the time was such that everything that went beyond was sharply condemned, and those that survived were hiding very deeply. People were forced to stifle their feelings and live "by the rules." Children grew up, had families, raised their own children. But how could they give them what they received less or did not see themselves? So a new generation grew up ...
Then there was the collapse of the Union, in which "there was no sex." Incredible chaos, confusion and, to some extent, permissiveness began. The world was changing rapidly. And that which had to be cut at the root and that was so carefully hid escaped to freedom - emancipation was no longer so condemned, but the old habits did not just let go. The forbidden fruit attracted more and more. The seeds that once sprouted were bursting free and growing - couples began to appear in which the woman was older and often was the leader.
Comparison
The first sexual experience of a man could well become the reason for the attraction to women who are more mature. Moreover, both successful and not very good. What do you think - what can this lead to? In the future, when trying to improve relations with his peers, a man will involuntarily compare his first one with the one in front of him now. Let's say the first sex of a man / boyfriend was with a more mature woman who knew what she wanted and knew how to behave correctly.
It is not surprising that the next time, having tried his luck with a peer, the man was disappointed (especially if this time for some reason was not successful and the girl directly expressed her claims) and he again wanted to return to where it was really good.
"Eternal son". Another psychological dependence, expressed in the need to listen and obey the stronger / powerful, arises in those children who grow up with a" tyrant mother ", that is, under severe pressure and constant control. - a child who has grown up in "hothouse" conditions, has entered an independent life, on a subconscious level begins to look for that woman who can replace his mother.
Usage
Here we often have to talk about calculation. A man who understands that it will be more difficult for him to achieve a position in society on his own chooses, again, a woman who is more experienced and has already taken a strong position there. Such a companion, as a rule, is better off, more sophisticated by experience, more judicious and calm, stronger and more stable morally. She can take upon herself the solution of the problems that have arisen, help with advice, warn against problems, extinguish intra-family scandals and, of course, support financially. Paired with such a woman, it is much easier to be realized.
Although there is such a category of men, which is called nothing else than "Alphonses". These guys prefer to live off the women who support them. There is no question of love here at all, although they constantly repeat their feelings to their "goldfish". The relationship lasts until the woman understands who she is dealing with, or becomes completely bankrupt.
Self-satisfaction
There is a category of men who believe that by honoring a woman who is much older, they are doing a good deed. They are absolutely sincerely convinced that a woman who has crossed a certain line no longer enjoys the attention of men. From these you can hear something like: "But who needs this? Except for me, no one will look!" Alas, some women begin to think this way and resign themselves to their "inferiority".
There may be another option. It is quite possible that such a category of men is looking for relationships with older women from the realization of their own inferiority, more precisely, phobias - the fear of being rejected by their peers pushes such people to acquaintance and relationships with older people. This kind of relationship is usually short-lived.
Intimate plan
A very powerful argument! In this regard, couples are ideal when he is 20-27, and she is 30-38. This is the age when a man is always full of desire, and she is always ready to accept this desire. Moreover, women at this age are at the peak of their sexuality, they usually already have some experience, are more liberated and look with interest at innovations and experiments, while young girls feel squeezed.
Of course, a certain percentage of young men of the same age can also boast of experience, but they behave too loosely and untied, and so much so that they repel the opposite sex. In this sense, a mature woman definitely wins, because she understands how to behave in the company of a man. The relationship of such couples can last for a long time.
Forecasts
Those relationships that are built on callous egoism are almost always doomed. A confident and self-sufficient woman cannot but understand that she is assigned the role of a nanny and a wallet, from which a capricious child constantly pulls money. But such an alliance is still possible if:
- a woman really believes that no one else needs it and therefore clings to what is at least now;
- a woman uses a young man as a toy to please her and is ready to pay for it.
The connection between an adult man and a young, still pure person often looks indecent, don't you agree? Many are even outraged, because the big age difference often borders on seduction. As if the nymphet is submissively subordinate to an adult and already experienced man. But many girls themselves are looking for relationships with older men, why? This is what will be discussed today!
Girls find maturity very exciting. It never even occurs to many young men how attractive a mature, accomplished and self-confident man can be. It's not about appearance, but about the internal state, behavior in stressful situations and in everyday life.
Well, what girl will not be pleased if her relationship is discussed here and there? It doesn't matter what it will be - envy or condemnation, the main thing is that the reaction will arise unambiguously. Many girls tend to choose a mature man as partners in order to shock the audience.
Grown men are usually more serious about their intentions. Perhaps the whole secret is that it is important for them to understand that they will not be abandoned or betrayed, because often everything has already happened in their life. The beauty of a long-term relationship is trust and confidence in a partner, who, if not wise men, know about it. Young men, on the other hand, do not want obligations, expecting only entertainment and pleasure from the relationship, so girls are more comfortable in this regard with older partners.
Experienced men understand how to win a girl's heart, and often prove to be true gentlemen. They do not expect a return from her at first, but really care, without demanding anything in return.
What girl can resist chivalrous deeds? Mature men open the door for a girl, never allow her to pay for dinner at a restaurant, and in general, respect for the fair sex is shown in their every gesture. By the way, on a note to young men - experienced men really do what they like, and do not wait after each wide gesture of return in the form of sex!
Psychologically, men grow up a little later than girls. Therefore, it is difficult to blame the latter for not wanting to wait for their boyfriend to play enough, because it is difficult to take a man seriously when his behavior is more like that of a boy. A mature man has already taken place and has long gone through the growing up phase.
The girls note that with an adult man they feel "like behind a stone wall." A man gives them support, protection, allows them to feel weak and vulnerable. Perhaps this can be experienced with a peer, but with an adult man, these sensations seem to intensify.
For girls, one of the most important aspects of a relationship with a man older than her is that he has already succeeded in his life. Many girls do not want to wait for the young man to find his purpose, set tasks and goals for himself, and then he will achieve them for some time. A man who knows what he wants out of life can protect a girl from worries about the future and give her the opportunity to simply enjoy the relationship.
Of course, it is not always possible to guarantee that a man's age speaks for his extensive sexual experience. But still, over the years, a man often learns something that young guys do not even know about. Sex is not the basis of a relationship, but a young girl can be impressed by it. Moreover, she is pleased to understand that in a relationship with an adult man, she herself becomes more skillful in bed.
Relationships where there is a significant age difference between partners are condemned by society, they are taboo, which means they are exciting! When a girl is barely over twenty, she is pleased to know that she is attractive to a mature man. In addition, you can brag about it in front of your girlfriends.
In fact, you can lose your head at any time, especially at a young age. Love does not look at age, so a young girl's feelings for an older man can be as strong as for a peer. And older men know how to impress a girl so that she falls in love.
The most important factor influencing a girl in choosing a partner is that any woman, first of all, needs a MAN with whom she can be weak and defenseless. And an adult representative certainly has many qualities of a real man, to which young men sometimes just need to "mature". Of course, there are examples of masculinity among young men, but this is more the exception than the rule.
An older man is confident in himself, as a rule, he managed to acquire real estate, a car and a position in society and connections, knows how to present himself beautifully. Psychologists believe that the lack of parental care in childhood or her own lack of independence pushes a woman to a relationship with a more mature man who will help solve problems, take all the worries upon himself, be able to protect and, if necessary, regret it like a little one. In addition, experience comes with age. Including the representatives of the stronger sex become calmer, more balanced, more judicious, they know how to look after beautifully, know how to interest their chosen one and how to show their feelings. Under the auspices of such a man, the girl feels calm and well.
As a rule, with age, the craving for hanging out with friends and noisy parties disappears, but visiting a museum or an expensive restaurant in the company of a young pretty companion can be great entertainment.
Such men are excellent conversationalists and experienced lovers. A broad outlook and a rich inner world attract young inexperienced people. You can discuss literary works and classics of cinema for a long time, visit exhibitions and other cultural events. There may be no sexy marathons in bed until morning, but the quality of sex is likely to be great.
What girl doesn't like expensive gifts? A man who has achieved certain heights in his career will gladly pamper his lady. In addition, he may be able to provide a secure future for his children.
What should you be wary of when starting a relationship with an older man?
Most likely, you will not have to hope for equality in such relations, since he is older, and therefore more experienced, therefore, everything will be made by himself. Do not forget that patronage can turn into addiction. Jealousy of younger men is possible. It is possible that the man was already married, and he has children from the previous ones, which means that, as a father, he has already taken place and may not want to have more children. If the age difference is too significant, frequent misunderstandings and problems in sexual life may arise. It is unlikely that he will be carried away by modern literature and visit clubs. It will be difficult to find a common language with friends and parents.
In any case, every relationship has its pros and cons.
Why do young beautiful girls like older men who have long past their best years? Psychologists suspect a father complex. In addition, this trend is biologically determined, since the possible offspring will have optimal opportunities for development.
Dutch actor and tenor Johannes Hesters (born 1903) and his wife, German theater and film actress Simone Rethel, are 46 years apart. Since 1992, they have been living in a fairly harmonious marriage. Heiner Lauterbach, Joschka Fischer and Skye Dumont and their young wives have a difference of more than 20 years. Bestselling author Konzalik dated a young mistress until she left him when he became a respectable old man and went to a young attractive man. Konzalik died alone, despite his millions.
Simone Rethel and Johannes Hesters exchanged rings in 1992.
He's afraid of age
Many complexes and little true love connect these couples - psychologists say. What is also missing is a shared past. But the main thing in this relationship is not a young body that attracts an adult gentleman. First of all, he no longer wants to be on the same level with a woman, in which, as in a mirror, his old age is reflected. He likes the role of protector more, and he is looking for his lost youth.
He is afraid of strong women, so he chooses an unequal partner - much younger and mostly with a much worse social status. He thinks that with a young girl he can postpone the old age that he fears. Paradoxical as it may sound, an adult man who is dating a young woman has a strongly expressed mother complex.
He is looking for his mother in the girl, who will belong only to him - psychologists interpret the situation. The one who ironed his shirts, makes mint tea when he has a stomach ache, and when he goes on a business trip, packs his suitcase.
Happy marriage
He compensates for the decline in testosterone levels by offering earthly benefits, and she, in turn, gives him her youth. Thus, a young woman takes the dying potency of her adult lover for an extremely gentle, patronizing love.
She longs for experience
“For young women, this is a benefit for self-esteem, capital that is not earned but subdued, social status and power are acquired through money and services,” says family psychologist Oskar Holzberg from Hamburg. "And besides, if she has power over him because of youth and vitality, then his fear of losing her increases every year."
And she? What does she want? Most young women insist that they don't need a beautiful convertible of their own, or money or jewelry. But why, then, when divorced, do many men leave ruined?
There is no doubt that a woman who strives in a couple for an accomplished personality wins in many ways. An adult man has not only a rich sexual and life experience, but also from the spiritual side he has something to offer.
Soul to soul
His minimized polygamy instills in her a sense of confidence in his loyalty. And he is flattered, especially when he is in a male environment, when he is admired for his masculinity and agility, because he is paired with a young woman.
If he, despite his advanced age, gives birth to offspring, then he will prove that "he can still." Therefore, the rapprochement of youth and maturity is beneficial for both.
Usually, young women are always diagnosed with a father complex. According to statistics, the daughters of single mothers are often looking for a replacement for their father. With a new "dad", the newly-made "daughter" will compensate for everything that she missed in childhood. She will direct her life to his interests, will sleep with him when he wants, and abandon children if he already has several or he is already too old.
Quite harmonious couple
Everyone in such a union gets what they want. Aging men - a high assessment of their masculinity, women - a quiet, secure life. The fact that he understands her and her desires, and leaves his own in the background, are considered by most women to be especially attractive. Women over 30, who before meeting such a man had a lot of stress at work and in their personal life, highly value the opportunity to be led in a relationship.
Behavioral biologists consider the relationship between young and old to be quite reasonable. Her physical youth and his life experience plus heredity will give the offspring optimal opportunities for development.
Psychologist David Bass of the University of Texas at Austin surveyed more than 10,000 men and women in 37 different countries about what qualities they value most in a partner. The most significant difference was seen between men and women in terms of age. In all countries and cultures studied, men prefer younger partners. Conversely, women value a partner who is slightly older than themselves.
Men prefer to marry a woman at the age of 24.8 years, namely at the peak of her fertility. After this age, the fertility of women begins to decline steadily. In the course of evolution, it is laid down that a man is looking for a woman who can bear and give birth to a healthy child.
Alexandra LAPSHINA
