Life always gives a second chance. We love each other, but she does not give a chance to fix everything. Business relationship: are there chances

Men are much more honest than women when it comes to relationships. At the initial stage - for sure.

A woman, having gone on the first date, can agree to the second, even if the man did not hook her. “I'll give him a second chance,” she says, and goes to dinner with Lukashin or Novoseltsev. A woman is ready to give a second chance to a man not only after the first date, but also after the first night.

The women, being of sound mind and full of memory, voluntarily, that is, themselves, subscribe to the men, from whom they are not blown away. They marry them, give birth to children. And then, tormented by a poor-quality sex life, they saw off their "neorls" for the rest of their lives. I couldn't stand it. Didn't fall in love. No matter how hard the poor woman tried, alas, it did not grow together.

As annoyed her on the first date with his nose "pipkoy" or uncertain manner of speech, and annoying to this day, after some years of marriage there. As disgusting to her were his slobbering kisses and thin penis on the first night together, they are so disgusting now, when they have already moved in and applied to the registry office. But the woman suffers. Doesn't lose hope. It is not clear, however, for what.

Such a model of behavior is alien to the absolute majority of men. A man will never ask for a romantic date a woman whom he does not want to blow. Exceptions are gigolos. Although, in the case of them, only entourage can be romantic, but not intentions. Likewise, a man will not invite a woman to a second date who disappointed him on the first, and he will not call in a bed the one with whom he did not like it there.

If a man is repulsed by something in a woman, he will not be with her. A friend of mine really liked the girl. When she finally found herself at his house and took off her boots, he saw nylon socks on her. How cut off. And I understand him perfectly: with a woman who wears nylon socks, only cattle will meet.

So, ladies, at least at the initial stage of the relationship, they are honest with us. He does not call for a long time, because he did not like you enough to call you in the first free minute. He's doing fine without you. For the same reason, he does not invite you on a date and does not pull you into bed. Shyness, busyness, force majeure have nothing to do with it, no matter how much the rejected women would like to believe in them.

Let me give you a dialogue from the True Detective series. The main character is trying to bring the wife of his partner.

The two are safer, Rast. You have to match each other if you give her a chance. But men don't give a chance. I don’t understand why this is so.
- Because we know what we want and do not mind being alone.

Do you think you need to give the person a second chance at the initial stage of the relationship? Try to substantiate your point of view.

Name: Carlson

Good day! Straight to the point:
At the beginning of this year, I met a girl. Met by chance, my friend, turned out to be her neighbor. We are friends with him not a lot, not a little, 3 years. So here she is, his upstairs neighbor. Apparently it surprised me at the moment when I saw her, which I had never noticed before. Of course I asked him what and how. He told me a bunch of positive facts about her. To which I replied that in 2 months, she will be my girlfriend. (strange but from the outside, looks like "meeting on a bet") I began to communicate with her.
And oh Gods! I did not notice in her either commercialism, or greed, or a share of selfishness. It made me very happy, and actually it hooked me. (in addition to a very cute appearance and a slender figure) By the way, I am 20, she is 18. We talked with her for 2 months. I realized that I was beginning to fall in love with her. One day, on occasion, I kissed her. And a week later, officially, he beautifully proposed to be a girl. To which she, of course, agreed.
We met. The first 3 months everything is simply amazing, I will not tell you the details, they are already similar with everyone. Candy-bouquet period, night walks, both on foot and by car. In general, everything is beautiful! But. But little by little, I began to move away from her, which I regret now. I began to pay little attention to her. Walked with friends, lied to her that he was wildly busy at home. I could not call or write. She, in turn, did not give not a single reason for a quarrel. Not a single reason for jealousy, and experiences like “where is she? who is she with? " She always sat at home, and if she wanted to take a walk with her friends, she called and asked if it was possible? And the fact is that I did not demand such an attitude from her. I did not demand to report and exclude all communication with the male sex. She's all by herself.
I moved away from the topic. So, I started to distance myself. She asked, almost begged, to devote more time to her. And I didn’t pay attention to it. She offered to part. That same evening, I rushed to her, (I heard the truth that the drinker was driving, well, that is. She always worries about me) came, began to beg her to change her mind. He began to promise that I would improve. She gave me a chance. Everything was good for a week. I kept my promises. Then he went down the slope again. She endured everything, forgave, but I did not change. I began to think that maybe I didn't like her at all. I thought it was time for us to part. Apparently it will be good for both. But she got ahead of me, could not stand it, she again told me this terrible phrase "we are parting" And only after reading it, I realized for the first time, 100%, that I love her madly. That I do not want to lose her, that I love everything in her to the smallest detail. I realized how bad I was, I’m ready to change everything for her sake, and on my knees I’m ready to apologize for every mistake, but. But it was too late. The next morning, I am with flowers, with a huge bouquet of flowers, going to her university. She went out, talked to me, said that she didn't want anything else and that it would be easier for her that way. I never gave the flowers to her then, it would have been stupid to give them to her in the morning so that she could do with them. I decided to come to her in the evening. I came and asked to leave. As soon as she opened the front door and saw me, she closed it at that hour, without even giving a word to say. I left flowers at the door. I sat down on the steps myself, lit a cigarette and sat there for about 20 minutes (as it turned out later, she was sitting on the other side of the door and crying). The next day, I called her. We talked for 1.5 hours all this time she was crying. Couldn't really say a word. She was crying, and I apologized and begged for a chance. She never agreed. She told me several times that she loves me very much! What worries about me, and so that at least sometimes I would call her and speak like me? Is he alive and well? I couldn't answer anything intelligible.
I forgot to say, we parted 2 weeks ago. All week, every now and then I sit on my friend's ears and drink. Did not appear at the institute, took time off from work. I drink and grieve. Yesterday, over a drunken head, I got into a fight. Somehow, not having estimated not the equality of forces (there were 4 of them), he climbed to fight. As a result, a broken rib, concussion, bruises and abrasions. I called the same friend and asked him to come to the hospital. He took with him and (let it be Julia) she flew with him, in tears, rushed to me. I learned how I was and what was wrong with me. She hugged her. And at that moment, I didn't need anything else. Everything seemed to be taken away from me by the fact that such a dear person hugged me. I began again to apologize, to say that I was madly in love, that I could not live without her. She started to cry. She said that I have a year. What I quote: “Let's try to find you - a girl, and I’m a guy, and if nothing good comes out in a year, then we will try something again. I can't take you back now. I have no trust in you. Sorry. Good luck with everything! I really want it! Find yourself a good girl ... ”With that, I cut her off and said that I didn't even want to look at others. She roared even more, and pressed against me. For the first time, in 12 years, I cried ... If my health had allowed, I would have fallen on my knees to ask for forgiveness and ask for another chance ...
It all ended there. She took a taxi home from me.
Today, I left songs on my page with a meaning like: (we were happy together, I didn’t forget anything, I miss, etc., etc.)
And in addition the message “get well soon! And so that there was an incentive to get better, then as you recover, we will go for a walk :) ”To say that I was happy with every letter of this message is to say nothing.
And now I don’t know ...
Guys, what to do? How to return? I really can't already ...
There is information that while we are not together, one of her friends hit her ... They even walked a couple of times and often visits her. But for some reason I am sure that they had nothing serious there and could hardly be so far.

What to do? How to get my beloved back before I finally lost her? Tell! I love her very much ... If you need something else, I will add it in the comments, or I will answer all the questions.

Thank you for reading this entire petition.

There can be many reasons why a person missed their first chance. Someone will be disappointed by one-time minor offenses, which have accumulated so much that patience simply burst. Someone will come to shock from the lies of a loved one, from an undeserved resentment. In the worst case, betrayal could also occur. But if a person asks to give him another chance, moreover, his words are very sincere, then you need to think deeply.

The reason for the discord can be the accumulated misunderstanding, based on a number of accidents and minor skirmishes. A crisis has occurred, but you understand that if you treat each other more carefully, this can be avoided. Relationships are also about self-improvement. If this understanding came to both partners, then such a pair definitely deserves a second chance.

Some people can behave selfishly until a shock situation occurs. For example, your partner was frivolous, allowed himself to stay up late without warning you, he could ignore your requests. But when you confronted him with the fact that you do not intend to endure such neglect anymore, he suddenly realized how wrong he was. Such insights do happen. In this case, the person deserves a second chance.

Why you shouldn't give a second chance

It happens that a person's misbehavior was in your hands: you have long been tired of these relationships and thought how to break them as gently as possible. Of course, the situation could have turned out far from mild, but if you are sure that you do not want to maintain the old relationship, then do not agree to give a second chance. A person's arguments can be very different, ranging from the fact that it all happened by accident to bringing a list of what binds you (long relationship, children, joint business, housing, etc.), but stand your ground. Even if he insists that your common child needs both parents, this is not a reason to stay in a relationship just for this reason.

You should not give a second chance to someone who has serious psychological problems and does not intend to solve them. For example, if your partner is a chronic alcoholic or drug addict, if he raised his hand at you or the child several times, constantly tried to humiliate you, or he already had several cheating, then he does not deserve the next chance. The very fact that the problem is chronic suggests that you have already given him a second chance, and he did not cope. The sooner you stop it, the better for you and for him.

It happens that a person really made a mistake. You are in great pain from what is happening, but he too, most likely, is not better. He is tormented by a sense of guilt. If you understand that remorse is genuine and your partner is never going to do anything like this again, then it might be worth giving a second chance. But focus on your feelings. Think about whether you can do it. It happens that feelings have remained the same, but with forgiveness is already more difficult. On the one hand, the ability to forgive is a great blessing, but on the other hand, some events are really unforgivable.

What is the bottom line

Probably, a second chance, rather deserves than not, any person for whom you have genuine feelings. But any person, rather, does not deserve the third, despite your feelings.

In modern society, people are connected by various relationships, in which it is impossible to do without joys, or without grief and disappointment. Resentment is one of the most common types of negative experience in communication, it arises when a person has failed, has not justified hopes, trust, expectations. And then the question arises: what to do if you were really let down and is it worth giving people a second chance? Many people think that this is not worth doing, since after a second chance, a third, fourth, and so on will be required. Let's try to figure out if this is really so.

A second chance in friendship - is it wise?

Most likely, betrayal in friendship is the result of a more serious process in personal growth. When one person works on himself and seeks to develop further, and the second calmly stands in one place, they become uninterested in each other, a feeling of alienation arises, and then neglect of the other and betrayal. Or maybe the person has matured, changed internally, he has a change of priorities. Or maybe he just doesn't give a damn about everything.

If a friend tells others your secrets is not normal, over time you will simply stop trusting her. If quarrels often arise over trifles, then life turns into a nightmare that occurs according to a certain pattern.

If your friend is no longer interested in you, is there any point in continuing to communicate and trying to make the lost contact?

A broken flower cannot be brought back to life. A leaf torn from a branch will no longer take root back. And it seems to many that what is broken can no longer be restored. On the one hand, this thought is correct, but on the other: life is too bitter anyway, joy is highly valued in it. Is it really worth it to deprive yourself of the joy of communicating with a person with whom it has always been good, or is it still worth giving a chance? Here it is necessary to proceed from the severity of the current situation, and personal feelings and thoughts.

A second chance in love - does it make sense?

One of the most important qualities of love is the unquestioning acceptance of a person for who he is. Nobody has the right to change a person, even the closest one has no right to do it. But you can influence your beloved, namely by your actions, behavior, conversations. If there is no acceptance on the part of the partners, they constantly conflict with each other, reconciliation is difficult for them, they do not want to give in - this is question number two.

When your life partner changes, the person who has always been paradise for you is very painful. Resentment simply tears the soul and heart to pieces, the desire to live disappears. But life does not end there, you need to make an important decision: break off the relationship or make a compromise? If in your soul there is no desire to forgive and give a second chance, in the future the relationship can hardly be built again. But if a loved one takes an oath that this will not happen again, sit down and judge. If you cannot live without him, give him an attempt to improve, but never forgive for the third, and even more so for the fourth time.

Business Relationships: Are There Chances?

Not only a loved one can fail, but also a business partner or employee. If a person is systematically late for meetings or violates obligations, is irresponsible, or caused a bigger nuisance, it is not good to leave it unattended.

Failure to assemble a partner or employee invariably harms the external face of the company, therefore, in the business sphere, failures and unjustified expectations must be prevented.

Direct conversation is one of the most effective ways to deal with misconduct and business ethics. Start the conversation by explaining your positions, principles, generally accepted requirements. Give a stern reprimand, write out a fine, deduct a percentage of income, cut down on professional duties, or simply threaten to terminate a partnership or employment contract - the specific decision is yours. In the business sphere, a person can and even should be given a chance: he will certainly improve in the future. But if the situation repeats itself, there is no third chance.

Second chance: the pros and cons

According to psychologists and sociologists, you can give a second chance to a person in any relationship if:

At the same time, radically change the strategy of relationships in order to avoid the repetition of mistakes and problems. To do this, just look at the current situation from the outside and issue your verdicts.
Reflect and find a reason, an obstacle in the formation of strong relationships and try to fix everything in order to avoid trouble in the future.
A person is too dear to you, he is not just a habit and a successful filling of free minutes of life. You cannot imagine life without him and you are ready to forgive. Note that these feelings must arise on both sides.

If the unpleasant situation is a repetition of a previous experience, this is a clear argument against the possibility of a second chance. Also, do not throw your trust down the drain if you do not see a future with a specific person.

Should you give people a second chance and why?

You should always forgive people, but forgiveness does not mean complete restoration of the relationship. The second chance is a purely personal matter, and a person must make a decision on his own, based on his life experience. However, you should not be too hard on others: after all, people tend to make mistakes, and everyone has the right to make a mistake. That is why a second chance must be given. Maybe a person is deeply aware of what has happened and will never repeat mistakes in his life. And you will receive in his person a reliable support, a devoted friend.

Another thing is that this bug-fix should not be a system. When making an important decision, take into account the individual characteristics of the personality of a particular person. Maybe 18 chances are not enough for him: here it is worth thinking about yourself. Do you need to poison your life with endless problems, or is it still worth breaking up with it?

In any case, you can give the opportunity to improve in any situation, but with the agreement that there is only one, the next time everything will turn out much more difficult. Say it directly to your opponent's face, without hesitation. After all, you are not some kind of vegetable to constantly, unconditionally be humiliated, insulted, disappointed - you are a person. And remember that there is something that cannot be forgiven to anyone - this is violence, both physical and moral. Here you don't even need to waste time thinking about whether to give people a second chance: the risk of repeating sadistic methods is great. Restore relationships with those whom you truly love, whom you cannot live without, and in whom you are truly confident. Know the value of yourself, your well-being and clean relationships between people!

Which couples are likely to have a relationship renewal?

There are many times when a broken relationship is resumed and life is getting better. In what cases the attempt can be successful:

When people realize their mistakes - theirs and their half or friend. Such a person seeks to change himself and his life for the better.
A thorough analysis of errors will help to prevent the emergence of conflicts in the future or to correctly assess controversial issues. One cannot do without friction and disagreements in life; it is important to get out of difficult situations with the least losses.
After parting, tears into the pillow, consolations of friends, to return the person again means to treat your partner with even greater love and trepidation. If you first turn on your head, and then emotions, then the union will only grow stronger.
Provided that the partner made a mistake once. There should be no third, fourth attempts. Once you can come to understanding and forgiveness.
If both parties to the conflict begin to control themselves, rebuild in a new way, show love for their soul mate.
If the breakup was just manipulation, an attempt to get attention.
If the partners have many common interests regarding the family, children.

People need to be given a second chance, but it will only be successful if a few conditions are met. First, you must clearly decide what you want: shared leisure time, special attention, moral support. Once you decide, convey this to your partner. Second, look for new ways to fulfill these desires. Find a compromise relationship model to feel the presence of each other in life. Don't worry about giving a second chance in a relationship. Renew the connection, just try to modify it.

When will there not be a second chance?

Second try: will it be successful? Do not even hesitate to give the person a second chance. You always need to give your partner the opportunity to change and become better himself. The desire to return and connect with a loved one is triggered by nostalgia or a feeling of loneliness. Anger and irritation disappear somewhere, only good memories remain: dates, declarations of love, affectionate words. It is possible to re-establish communication only in 50% of cases. And those who are trying to get their soul mate back several times in a row are wasting their time and nerves. Here are the cases in which there will be no second chance and mutual understanding will not improve:

if the partners never found the stumbling block that prevented them from being together;
if someone and the spouses does not want to give in and insists on his own;
if a person is irresponsible about the opportunity to start all over again, does not value union or friendship.

Before deciding whether to give someone a second chance, understand that nothing will work out on its own. If your breakup was due to the fact that you did not see a further future with this person, then do not hope for a quick improvement in the situation. You need to endure the pain of the tearing, but it will be better that way to move forward.

Breakup factors analysis

There are good reasons behind any breakup. There are factors of separation that are quite insignificant: inattention, misunderstanding. It doesn't even talk about whether or not to give the person a second chance. But when it comes to lies, betrayal, treason, then not everyone can forget everything and start over. A big offense cannot be quickly forgotten, it will still destroy the renewed connection. Not every man or woman can forgive for some serious flaws. Before you make up, think about whether you have the strength to forget everything.

Parting is unbearable

Relationships are formal and informal. The formal ones include living together, worries, and everyday life. The emotional and sensory realm is behind informal relationships. If you even left or parted, then at the level of feelings you can constantly remember your soul mate and count on her. After all, it is impossible to completely erase a person from memory.

Many psychologists advise not to completely end the relationship, but to become friends. When people live together, they get very used to each other and, even after parting, continue to be together on a psychological level. If you break up as friends, you can heal faster from this addiction.

Conclusions must be drawn by both

Often the reason for parting is a lack of agreement. Learn to express your thoughts to your loved ones, do not wait for them to guess about your desires. It is important to consider that the psychology of a man is slightly different from that of a woman. If you decide to give the guy a second chance, does it make sense to keep in yourself what you lacked. It is important that both need to re-establish communication. If there is confidence in feelings on both sides, then you can try to glue the broken cup.

There are pluses to disappointment, too. With this feeling, you learn to accept people as they are. Do not create illusions about the ideal person, because you also have disadvantages. Both partners need to understand if there is a place for each other in their life.

He tries, she doubts

What can and cannot be forgiven? You should not return to narcissistic idiots, lovers to give up, burners, mama's sons. If your boyfriend is not on the above list, then give him a second chance. Even if he offended you, you may be angry for a while, but then look at everything with sober eyes. If the guy is trying to demonstrate his feelings and wants forgiveness, then give him this opportunity. Do not hesitate for a long time, it may be as hard for him as it is for you.

This is real love

If you are willing to sacrifice and compromise, then the second attempt may end in luck. Make an appointment, discuss what did not suit you, and find a common solution.

If you had other connections after separation, but still thought about your boyfriend, then you just can't let go of your past. Honestly admit to yourself - do you still love him? A positive answer indicates that you need to try again. In order to forgive, a person must be loved.

It's not easy to start over

Are you still in doubt about giving a second chance in a relationship? Use the tips of who should still meet halfway. Try to get the relationship back if you like the guy in general, but you see some flaws in him. It is worth forgiving a person with a difference in worldview, a soft and indecisive personality. Also, be loyal to a guy who has no way to show a secular gloss.

Don't save the relationship alone. If your loved one does nothing for this, then humble yourself, since you yourself will not achieve anything. Also, don't hope for an instant happy life after reunion. Act gradually, take your time. If you and your half take a few steps towards each other, then understanding and happiness awaits you.